Unless you’ve been living in the basement of DJ’s, odds are you’ve noticed the construction that has overtaken the beloved stomping grounds that once hosted Chuck’s and Funk n’ Waffles. Each crane and construction crew serves as a sad reminder of all the iconic places we used to cherish, and for what, a few unaffordable apartments? To make the walk from bar to bar will be a little more difficult every Thirsty Thursday? It just doesn’t seem fair.  

However, the recent opening of Chik-Fil-A in Cicero got us thinking: what if these fancy new apartments could serve another purpose? Say perhaps, a haven for all the food we never knew we needed? All the tacos, burgers, fries and fan favorites we could ask for, all in one convenient location. If you ask us, it seems like a fair trade-off, and we have some big ideas in case Marshall Street is ever truly interested…  

In-N-Out: The fact that only the west coast gets to experience this delicacy is nothing short of an outrage. Have you ever had a delicious burger whilst drunk? Probably not considering how badly Syracuse is lacking in the hamburger department. Even sober, this shit is the best thing created by man, and that’s not to mention how cheap and quick it is – the two major factors every college student must keep in mind. It’s fast, it’s greasy, and it might make you sick for a week, but it’s 100% worth it and we will not rest until there’s one on Marshall.   

Dairy Queen: When those rare hot months come around, it feels real good to be in the sun – until ten seconds later when you’re dripping in sweat. The heat in our AC-less dorms is killer, and sometimes the dining hall soft-serve just doesn’t cut it when you’re hot and miserable. DQ Blizzards are perfect for those days when everything is sticky and gross and you’re looking for the sweet refreshment of some weird-ass ice cream that can be turned upside-down. We need to be able to get our hands on one at any time of the day. 

 McDonald’s: It would be great if someone could please try to explain why we have to pay for an Uber every time we want some nuggs. It’s either that, or an outrageous Tapingo delivery fee and you know they’ll forget your second Big Mac and take a sip of your watery coke. The whole reason we’re going to McDonald’s in the first place is because:  

a. We are broke as fuck  

b. It’s 1AM and we’re high off our asses  

c. Both  

It’s time to nix the Ubering and start making the nuggs more accessible – free the nuggs!   

 Jersey Mike’s: If you thought Jimmy John’s was good, you are in for a sweet, sweet surprise. Your bank account will vanish when you realize you’ve gone every day for the past two weeks (No? That’ll just be me?). The meat is better, the bread is better, it comes drenched in the perfect amount of oil and vinegar, and it needs to come to Marshall ASAP.   

 Taco Bell: Fuck a midnight pizza run, we’re bringing taco party packs with us for every late night craving from now on. Plus, imagine starting your day off with one of those breakfast quesadillas, or curing a hangover with several Doritos Locos tacos. There’s a menu item for every occasion, and it’s a disgrace that we don’t have easier access to a Taco Bell here in Syracuse.  

With such devastating losses to the Marshall Street area, there should come some shiny new replacements, and we will not rest until they are taking our orders.  

Chandler Plante
chandlerplantejerk@gmail.com
Chandler Plante is a freshman magazine major from Tucson, Arizona, who hasn’t owned a coat in over four years. In her spare time, she enjoys checking up on her Webkinz from 2008 and trying to convince people to read her long-winded rants and ramblings. Help a gal out and just read her articles instead.

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