How to Not Only Survive, But Thrive in Hookup Culture

graphic by lillian su

We just hit our one month anniversary of being back in ‘Cuse, and while academics are finally starting to settle down, the party scene is turning up. As the days pass, we’ve begun to see more and more of our hookups in broad daylight. This phenomenon of falling in love every night, just to fall out of love every morning is an essential part of hookup culture, and it’s thriving here at Syracuse.

Hookup culture is arguably the most stereotyped part of college. It likely began with those dumbass rumors murmured throughout the sex-ed class, the neon bodysuit section hidden at the back of Forever 21 (keep survivin’ girl), and that one American Girl book our moms insisted we keep on our bedside tables.

But no matter how it came about, it creates so much hype about the romances of college, when in reality, Saturday nights more often resemble the world’s shittiest orgy.

Don’t get us wrong, hookup culture is wonderful for many reasons. It allows for a certain amount of sexual liberation, gives you the opportunity to take your sexuality into your own hands, and lets you

explore lust in a way that would’ve been impossible back in your hometown. This noncommittal lifestyle lets you focus on your studies, while still fulfilling your biological need to smash! As Ryan #31 off

Tinder says, “Having sex with someone you feel no attachment to just gets you feeling some type of way.” And don’t we all want to feel “some type of way?” But it’s important to mention that engaging in hookup culture is not as easy as everyone makes it out to be. Since navigating the “What are we?” conversation can be more stressful than your upcoming bio exam, here’s how to #thrive in hookup culture without suffering heartbreak at the hands of a wannabe lax bro:

1. Decide when you are SOBER.

Make up your mind about your sexual endeavors while your BAC level is still under .08%. Share any plans for later with your besties & make sure everyone stays on track with their own sober intentions. We look out for each other in 2019!

2. Introduce yourself.

The best pickup line is your name! By simply introducing yourself, you give off a confident and sexy vibe to any guy in the room. It is by far the easiest, and most successful, way to pick up a manz (trust us, we have experience).

3. Is my mascara running?

A great way to check if the cutie you’ve just met is actually attractive or if your beer goggles are just too strong for the night is to create a code word with your besties. When spoken, or screamed over the music, the code cues your friend to tell you whether you should go for it or not. We personally love the phrase ‘Is my mascara running?’

4. Don’t get attached.

Let’s be honest, you’re probably already left on read. The most important thing about surviving hookup culture is understanding it for what it is: A hookup. Allow yourself to indulge in Ryan #31 for one night and then wake up, drink a venti chai, and move on.

5. Consent is sexy.

Say it again for the ones in the back! The least attractive thing about anyone is when they don’t ask for consent. Make sure you are giving and both receiving the proper affirmation needed! There is nothing sexier than hearing them say “YES.”

6. USE PROTECTION.

Please! Always! Use! Protection! Mamma Mia is great until you are playing Donna in real life...

7. If he truly wanted to, he would sis.

‘Nuf said.