Smut

SMUT, Jerk’s features section, backs up all of Jerk’s attitude with solid reporting, an eye for the downtrodden, and an ear for a good story. These longer pieces do not pretend to be objective; we are proud of our writers’ stances because they are well thought out and present the facts. Smut sways from politics to parodies so long as the tone is engaging, the faces are real, and the story inspires action.

Passive Voices: SU Activism

by Brian Amaral

We’re more apathetic than ever

Six or seven protesters stood outside Crouse-Hinds Hall — the Chancellor’s HQ — in the freezing cold, plotting where to put their protest snowmen.
“Right in the middle of the walkway that leads to the front door,” one suggested. “That’ll show ‘em,” another replied. “Show ‘em we’re serious about this tuition stuff.” [...]

Salt City Sorcerers: Alchemical Nursery

by Evan Klonsky

Bringing new meaning to the phrase “salt the Earth” by promoting permaculture in Syracuse

By Evan Klonsky : Illustration by Amelia Bienstock
In May 2007, Elizabeth Slate returned to Syracuse University to finish her degree in sociology. As a new mother, she had spent the past year and a half on the road searching for a suitable [...]

The Millenium March

by Kelina Imamura

By Kelina Imamura & Illustration by Tate Chow
For centuries, preconceived notions of the world after Y2K have caused a fixation on the future. Future-obsessed institutions made economic, technological, and scientific predictions for the new millennium: health care prayed for an HIV/AIDS vaccine, researchers thought they’d find the cure for cancer, and jet packs were expected [...]

Soliciting Scandal in Thornden Park

by Megan Hess

There are more than secrets between the trees of Thornden Park: a gay sex outlet has existed for over 30 years in SU’s backyard.

Sometimes it only takes a few minutes: one honks, the other turns his engine off and gets out. Other times they sit for hours with their headlights on, drivers’ seat windows down, [...]

A Fall to Life

story by Nina Elias

Photography by Ben Addonizio
On a warm August night in Saratoga Springs, N.Y., Greg Callen, then 29, drunkenly stumbled to the roof of a friend’s house for a cigarette. Seconds later, Callen was on the ground, 13 feet below the rest of his friends, paralyzed from the waist down.
Five years, a bout of depression, and [...]

A Brave New World of Literacy

by Jamie Miles

Alternative Transmedia gives children a voice through journaling and photography

WoW the Dating Game

by Becky Wreski

WoW gamers find true love and kick Alliance Ass

Once upon a time, a heavily-armoured, red-haired Troll named Vrai met an emaciated Undead named Shirasabro. They talked about their likes and dislikes — namely killing members of the Alliance and avoiding their homework.
Okay, so maybe this Hunter and Death Knight didn’t have homework, but their [...]

Minding the Gap

by Kelly Outram

Valuable advice from a temporary Londoner

Close Encounters

story by Caitlin Dewey

The hotbed of UFO sightings that is Central New York.

The appearance of a glowing fireball outside Eloise Boshers- Ross’ home interrupted her routine 44 years ago on an early November night. The 41-year-old housewife and mother of three had never professed a belief in aliens or seen a flying saucer. She had read [...]

Corporate versus Public Power

by Daniel Bortz and Roxanne Broda-Blake

Corporations and the community vie for control of Syracuse’s electrical power.
Rachel May opens her energy bill every month with hesitation. She pays, on average, about $120 per month in the summer and around $220 during the harshest winter months in Syracuse.
She makes a conscious effort to conserve energy by improving her home’s insulation, replacing [...]

Inbred Central

by Jonathan Qualtere

We here at Jerk magazine do not advise you to visit this place. Seriously. Keep your life.

Binghamton Art Crawl

story by Erica Sanderson

Art and booze lovers rejoice, this town’s got it all

No Vacancy

story by Jessica Assimon

Troubled youth flood Syracuse’s juvenile prison system.

At first glance, teenager Janiese Flagg looks like any other high school senior. Flagg, a senior at Syracuse’s Nottingham High School, goes to classes, hangs out with friends, and applies to colleges in her spare time. But six years ago, Flagg’s future wasn’t as promising.
Her middle school suspended her [...]

Pagan Pride

story by Melissa Daniels

Members of Central New York’s LGBT community find a safe haven in Paganism.

John Crandall woke up every day on a Westcott Street bench. For three months, the 16-year-old sat on the sidewalk homeless and cold.
After one rainy night, Crandall, in pajama pants and a T-shirt, stirred in his sleep as a woman wearing a [...]

Give ‘Em Something to Talk About

column by Jamie Miles

Sex stimulates the advertising world as media regulations wane

A sexually charged billboard hung high above New York City’s SoHo. It featured a female model lying on a boy as she kissed a second male. All three wear only Calvin Klein jeans, no shirts. Another male model lies on the floor with his shirt and pants [...]

Mongolia Is More Than Barbecue

column by Erica Sanderson

Culture Corner

A country isn’t very well known when nobody knows where it is, what the people look like, or anything else in between. Student response ranged from: “I’m getting an Indian, Spanish feeling and I don’t know why” to “P.F. Chang’s Mongolian Beef is the best ever.” Let’s hope this Culture Corner is enlightening enough [...]

Culture Corner: India

column by Erica Sanderson

Dress me up in a sari and call me Brangelina

This week, the latest installment of Culture Corner tackles the multicolored elephant in the room that is India. Many Syracuse University students hail from this mystical country, but attempts to learn about their culture have been less than stellar. Hosting over one billion people – and [...]

Writings on the Wall

story by Jessie Assimon

Parents and friends use Facebook to cope with the loss of their loved ones

Michael Goodman, a 53-year-old technology consultant, regularly logs onto his daughter’s Facebook account. He changes her profile picture, updates her status, reads her wall posts, and accepts gifts and bumper stickers sent from her friends.
His daughter, Bailey, died on June 26, 2007 [...]

Nudist’s Nirvana

story by Ben Tepfer

Naturists from Florida to Canada flock to CNY’s Empire Haven to escape the misconceptions and stigma behind nudism

Welcome to Empire Haven Nudist Park. Rule No. 1: always sit on a towel. But it’s a rule that Manager Michelle Keagle doesn’t need to follow since she wears clothes. “I love clothes and hate my body, so [...]

All Alone on the Western Front

story by Daniel Bortz

A group of Sudanese refugees struggle to survive in Syracuse.

Lino Ariloka walked into Price Chopper every day at 6 a.m. sharp. He mopped the floors, stocked the shelves, and handled all of the heavy lifting. He earned minimum wage and received only a few hours of work per week.
Ariloka went home from work to a [...]

Demolition Derby

story by Kevin Eggleston

Kevin Eggleston experiences America’s true form: wrecking cars for sport.

Culture Corner: France

column by Erica Sanderson

Fat Americans take on the Stylish, Overfed, Snooty French

Welcome one and all to the first Culture Corner! This column is devoted to breaking the sheltered American bubble in which most students live. For each column I will ask students their perceptions about a particular international culture, then relay the three most popular answers [...]

The Best Drinking Buddy You Never Had

column by Jamie Miles

Everything But the Kitchen Sink

A good drinking buddy is more than someone who is willing to carry you home from Chuck’s after you’ve had too many, or tests his or her luck with you every Flip Night at Faegan’s. The perfect drinking buddy makes any night a good night and delivers free insights with every [...]

Readers Are Hot for Amish Romance Novels

column by Bethany Larson

Pop Goes the Culture

The Amish. These two words typically conjure images of a backwards people who speak a weird language, refuse to use electricity, ride around in horse-drawn carriages, and wear drab colors. But, lately those two words are making people think of something else — great love stories.
According to a recent article in [...]

Blood, Sweat, and Beers

story by Liam McCabe

Saratoga Springs

story by Paola Cape-Garcia

A slice of American Pie

Revolutionary Road

story by Kate Pennington

In his City Hall office, Syracuse Common Councilor Van Robinson talks about the city. He mentions the citizens, the schools, the businesses — but not with the words of a politician. Rather, his words seem to come from a friend, a neighbor. He came to Syracuse just over 40 years ago and never left. He [...]

Striking a Communal Chord

Story by Nina Elias

For the Syracuse Community Choir, “diversity” is more than a PR buzzword. It is the core value that resonates within each singer.

A man carefully enters the May Memorial Unitarian Universalist Society Church and makes his way to the piano as singing commences. He sits down and places his fingers gently on the keys. His eyes stay [...]

Scranton

Essay by Liam McCabe

Ain’t no party like a Scranton party

The Town Turned Canvas

Web-exclusive Story by Andy Johnstone

Pratt’s Place is no ordinary building. Its orange walls and baby-blue pinstripes glow against a backdrop of snow and gray sky.
A 5-foot, brightly colored “American Gothic”-style portrait of building owners Anne and Skip Pratt hangs on one wall. Above the portrait, two turquoise-purple-yellow faux dogs stare out across a parking lot.
Pratt’s Place would stick out [...]

Bush League

Web-Exclusive Story by Caitlin Dewey

Pube grooming in the LGBT community
To this day, Daniel Smith* can’t decide which was worse: the excruciating pain of burning off all his body hair, or the humiliation of going to school the next day.
Smith, then a senior in high school, had always felt some pressure to reign in his near-rabid hair. It wasn’t [...]

Ripped Off

Story by Jennifer Beth Williams

The mysterious disappearance of female pubic hair

By Jennifer Beth Williams
With a flick of her wrist, Jennifer Eiffe yanks out chunks of pubic hair. Over and over, day after day, session after session, Eiffe makes a living as a waxer at Garbo’s, popular beauty salon among Syracuse University students. Somewhere, somehow, someone has banned bushes. Business [...]

A World Apart

Essay by Mahala Gaylord

The first day I visited Ben, he never looked me in the eye, never acknowledged that I was in his home or photographing him. I was not invisible, and he made space for me, but he seemed miles away. This distance is just one of several traits that reveal the struggles Ben and his adoptive family, the Lehrs, have en¬dured for the past 30 years. Ben is autistic.

Cat-skillz

Story by Andy Johnstone

The Cat-Skillz Moutains

Canada’s Not Bad, Eh?

Web Exclusive by Emily Wayne

Canada’s not bad, eh?

A Loss For Words

Essay by Taylor Engler

It’s recess time, and Daniel* is yanking a coat out of Alim’s* hands. Alim wails, but doesn’t say a word. He doesn’t tell the teacher Daniel accidentally switched their coats. He doesn’t ask Daniel to give it back. All he can do is cry in a room with 23 second graders who can’t understand him.

Dying Memory

Essay by Dan Thalkar

Chris Bell made a mistake during the summer of 1996 — over and over again. He had unprotected sex with a man, sometimes up to six times a week. Then, after he caught mononucleosis in August 1997, doctors ran a few tests. Bell, who had spent most of his academic career studying AIDS, was now HIV-positive.

Sex Scandals

Web Exclusive by Taylor Engler

The only thing that comes close to the pleasure of having sex is hearing about the sex everyone else is having. And who better to divulge their dirtiest, naughtiest, most sexual scandals than the rich and famous?

Plan B: Uses and Misuses

Web Exclusive by Samantha Morgenstern

Sex is, in a word, spectacular. Primitive, sensational, and not to mention calorie burning—it is an act that connects two (or more than two) people on a whole new level.

SCA Web Profile

Web Exclusive by Megan Hess

By day, Jennifer Moravasik, 33, is a graphic designer for Seaboard Graphics in Liverpool, N.Y., but by night and weekend, she goes by Lady Desiderata Drake – “Desi Duck” for short – and is dedicated to being a pirate.

Gorge(ous)

Web Exclusive by Diana Martin

Good food and good beer — what more can a daytripper ask for?

Fight Club

Essay by Megan Hess

To the untrained eye, it looks like a local Verizon service rep is beating the bejeezus out of a tech guy at the Oneida County Department of Planning. But to the members of the Society for Creative Anachronism, it’s simply another Wednesday night of heavy weapons fighting practice — and Andrew Biel and Rick Reichert are duking it out medieval-style.

Labor of Love

Essay by Briana Palma

In the middle of the night, Alisa Ruperto can ignore the fire truck sirens roaring by her window. She can ignore her laughing neighbors stumbling home from the bars and slamming their doors. But when her roommate cries, sleeping just a foot away from her bed, Ruperto can’t ignore it.