By Sophia Bernard, Monica DeStefano, and Alyssa Di Rienzo

Want to know what really grinds our gears? Check out the first edition of “Campus Pet Peeves” and find out!

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By Lauryn Botterman

In case you haven’t noticed, it is wintertime in Syracuse. Yes, it’s cold and, yes, it’s probably snowing as you’re reading these words. The sky is a depressing shade of gray pretty much all the time.  This is not U Miami: we didn’t come here for the beautiful weather.

It’s easy to feel gloomy while enduring long walks across campus bundled under innumerable layers. But even when you begin to doubt the existence of that mythical, shining orb (I believe they call it sunshine), you gotta keep your chin up—and your earmuffs on. Before you resort to hibernation to make it through the next few months, read these tips on avoiding the winter blues.

Get active

If your only exercise during the winter season involves shoveling food from your plate into your mouth, you probably need to spend some more time working out to get the endorphins rolling. It might be a pain to make that trek out to Archbold, but the feeling you get after a good cardio sesh is totally worth it. Strive for an hour of physical activity every day, but even if you only have 30 minutes to spare between classes, it’s better than nothing.

Sure it’s tempting to curl up in your bed with your Snuggie and a jar of Nutella, but eating your feelings will only lead to a feeling of regret and an expanding waistline; being active will pay off in the long run. Working out is also a great way to clear your mind of any stress or worry. Sign up for a fitness class as motivation to get to the gym at a specific time every week. Plus, while it may seem that the winter here is infinite, there is a spring and summer on the horizon. That means fewer clothes and more skin: you won’t be able to hide that spare tire under a puffy coat forever. Break a sweat whenever you can—your body will thank you later.

Be spontaneous

The fact that it’s brutally cold is not an excuse to be antisocial. After contending with the elements every week, you deserve some playtime. If the bars and frat parties are getting old, try something new. Grab your friends and get a cab to a nice restaurant downtown; go sledding (or even better—drunk sledding); see a movie. If you want to find something exciting to do, all it takes is an open mind and a quick Google search. Staying social will keep your spirits up even when the temperature is down.

Find a friend (with benefits)

Ah yes, the proverbial fuck buddy—need I say more? There’s no better season than winter to try out a no-strings-attached fling. It’s nice to have someone to cuddle and do more with on those cold, snowy nights. The ideal partner should reside in close proximity to you for convenience, but not too close that you awkwardly cross paths with him or her every time you leave your room. Kudos if you can make it last throughout the entire winter season.

Drink… tea

Tea is basically the answer to all of life’s problems. Seriously. If alcohol is liquid courage, tea is liquid love. Sipping on a mug of hot tea just feels so right. As a bonus, research shows that regularly consuming green tea can raise your metabolism and prevent disease.

Seek help

If your funk becomes a full-on rut that you can’t seem to shake, there is no shame in reaching out for guidance. Talk to your friends and parents; be open about your feelings. If you think you need professional support, call the Syracuse Counseling Center and make an appointment with a certified counselor. They are always ready and willing to help.

Like the age-old debate of whether the chicken came before the egg or Mac vs. PC, the question ‘does size matter?’ has long been thrown around in health classes and in casual conversation between females and males alike. Though it can seem like a touchy subject, especially to the not-so-well-endowed, I found that upon asking their opinion about the dick-size debate directly, people are quite willing to chime in. I received short and sweet yes’ and no’s as well as lengthier explanations on the question of inches.

68 percent of those interviewed said they believe penis size does matter. One female magazine journalism major said, “The answer is a definite yes,” bringing in multiple Facebook “likes” of agreement. Speaking of gender, of that aforementioned 68 percent, 60 percent were girls. Now, all the boys rocking nothing but a stack of quarters in between their legs might be getting a little rosy-cheeked and nervous. To that I say, don’t be. According to askmen.com, a worldwide study of over 40 penis-size research projects has concluded that an average member is somewhere between 5.5 and 6.2 inches in length and 4.7 and 5.1 inches in girth. Feeling a little better now, little guys? (No pun intended.)

However, this is not just a basic back and forth argument of actual number and size. The debate about how deep a dick should reach goes, ahem, much deeper than that. Where one side took a similar position to a sophomore who said, “If he’s not well-endowed, it’s like doing all that work to get to the center of the Tootsie Pop with no Tootsie,” others said, frankly, that it was less about the “size of the wave” and more about the “motion of the ocean.” Honestly, what good is a serious schlong if its owner doesn’t know what to do with it? When faced with the choice of a massive member with less than impressive skills versus an under-average penis that can maneuver its way around a warm, tight space well, the answer is relatively obvious: skill beats size every time.

It seems that so much emphasis is placed on how far one’s dick falls below the balls because of the overactive male ego. It’s a competitiveness that’s in their nature and it’s a pride issue that many fall victim to. The fact is, though, sex is about pleasure. It’s a stress reliever, in most cases, and if you’re spending all your time worrying about the size of the prize inside and not about how things feel for you and your partner of choice, you’re not going to be performing very well. No amount of inches will be able to make up for your serious lack of erotic expertise, which, believe me, everyone will have heard about by the next afternoon.

www.wirelessweb.com

By Laura Cohen

When it comes to texting someone you’ve got your eye on, it’s not just what you say, but how you say it. When attempting to flirt via text, you better have your texting etiquette (or textiquette) down pat. Sometimes it can send a greater message than your actual words. The style and attitude you use can either make you or break you, and we have the support to prove it.

Responding after 2 seconds. Yes, we know your phone is constantly in your hand. People attempt to hold coffee, open doors, pay a cashier and even drink from the same hand in which they are holding their cellphone. Even if that is true, you don’t want to give off the vibe that all you have going on is this texting convo. “It seems like the person is just waiting to get your message,” said Clara Amore, a junior chemistry major. As a rule of thumb, check how long it took your texting partner to respond, and wait the same amount of time, or a minute or two longer. Even if you have nothing better to do, at least pretend you do.

Usingggg extraaa letttterrsss. There is no reason to keep holding down each key for an extended period of time. First of all, it’s hard to read, and second of all, you look like an idiot. Imagine someone draaaaaagging out their words in real life. Annoying, right? “It seems to have become the norm for teenagers to type and text like that, but I think that it’s immature, personally,” said Alex Klaris, a junior public relations major. You don’t need to have perfect grammar, but don’t sound ditzy on purpose either.

Have you ever gone overboard on your EMOTIONS?????!!!! JK LOL! You will probably never be THAT curious or THAT excited about something that it warrants 15 question marks, 10 exclamation points and an awkwardly placed smiley face. Keep your cool and keep it classy with subdued emoticons and punctuation. “It seems like that person is not mature enough,” said Ranon Bezerra, a junior mechanical engineering major. “I talked like that when I was 14 or 15.” That being said, spare the extra question marks—one will suffice.

Sending multiple texts in a row: Hello? Are you there? If he or she does not answer your text, there is a reason. If they are as immersed in this conversation as you are, they would not skip a beat. Please remember life exists outside your conversation and a number of things could have distracted your partner. If they are done talking to you, another text can just be irritating. If they are actually tied up with something, you’ll look impatient, even frantic. “If you send two text messages in a row, it comes off as desperate,” said Justin Dorsen, a sophomore public relations major. “I’ll answer when I have the opportunity to do so.”

Put your best foot (or thumb) forward by avoiding these pitfalls, and always practice safe texts.

www.hybridlava.com

By Julia Fuino

Tell me the last time you saw two people holding hands on this campus. It’s about as rare as a two-dollar bill. The concept of committed relationships seems to be missed by about 95 percent of the student body. Go ahead and ask your midnight man, he’ll tell you. The longest relationship he’s probably had is the one night stand you’re about to be, and vice versa.

But say you want more and you’re interested in more than what lies below the belt. There’s no easy way to work that into a conversation and flat out ask him—and asking him while doing the dirty might just be the meanest thing you could ever do. Instead you need to pick up on clues. Like the movie says, how will you know if he’s just not that into you?

Here’s a list of the top five ways to tell whether or not you’ll make it past being Thursday night’s “slam piece.”

1. You don’t hear from him when the sun is out. And when you do hear from him, his texts indicate that high amounts of alcohol have been consumed because all you’re seeing is “yo lkets meet uuop.” Here’s the truth: if your guy only contacts you after a couple of drinks and past 12 a.m., he doesn’t want commitment—and of all people, he doesn’t want it from you.
2. He only stays in your bed until the deed is done, then he’s outta there faster than white girls getting wasted. To further prove my point that he doesn’t want commitment, this is a guy that is so disinterested in commitment that he doesn’t even have time for a stable fuck buddy.  This also indicates that he’s getting it from a lot of girls. A lot of the time.
3. He hides his personal life (friends, family, details about his day) like a hidden porn collection in his parent’s basement. He doesn’t want pillow talk; he doesn’t care about your personal life, and talking about his means having to talk to you, which is not what he’s there for.
4. He gives the head nod rather than a “hey how are you.” He might acknowledge that he knows you by a nod, but that’s one of the subtlest ways of saying hello imaginable, usually done to avoid people seeing him stop and talk to you. Also, anything else might give you the wrong impression, something he doesn’t want to deal with.
5. Sunday through Wednesday, he’s “too busy.” My golden piece of advice: if you are into someone, busy or not, you look forward to spending time with them.; you make time for them. If he can’t stop and see you for a half hour even to just grab coffee, then he’s just not into you.

A friend of mine fell for a guy who was just not that into her. He made up excuses to avoid hanging out with her during the week that became pathetic, as he began running out of plausible excuses, one being: “My dog died, so I have to drive home to Jersey. Sorry.” Not only did she run into him at Chuck’s that night, but he was with someone else. Aside from blowing her off repeatedly, he would take hours to respond to text messages, would only have some ‘nighttime fun’ with her and when she would try and bring up relationship talk, the only thing coming out of his mouth were one word answers. They had been hooking up for about four months and not once did he ask to see her during the daytime. Not to mention, he left a condom on the floor of her bedroom! Ladies, if he doesn’t even have the decency to pick up after himself, after a late night rendezvous, he doesn’t give a shit about you.

You can’t force a relationship on anyone. If they don’t want it, you aren’t going to be ‘that special girl;’ you won’t be the one that’s ‘different.’ Disney made those movies to make money, not to blueprint your life. Be smart. Know who you’re dealing with.

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By Drew Muller

Well, Megaupload, it’s been fun. Your long and prosperous life has come to an abrupt close but let’s be honest, you probably saw it coming, right?

It might just be a hunch, but something tells me CEO/founder Kim Dotcom, a name that sounds like it should belong to a sensuous Internet vixen and not a burly German guy with an affinity for aliases, was a little too caught up in his self-pampering to realize he was making himself a target.

According to Information Week, Dotcom and other Megaupload executives owned a number of interesting assets, including 15 Mercedes-Benzes, fiberglass sculptures and jet skis, all of which were purchased with illegally obtained funds. Accused of accumulating $175 million in criminal proceeds, Megaupload was shut down by the FBI while Dotcom, along with four other individuals, was charged with a cache of crimes.

Megaupload was the first file-sharing giant to tumble, but will it be the last? How will we exchange files online with complete strangers and circulate copyrighted material without these sites? We could possibly be looking at the end of file lockers as we know it.

Users with both recreational and legitimate purposes are up in arms about the government crack-down, the former peeved that they might actually have to pay the exorbitant prices dictated by the music and film industries and the latter fearful for the safety of jobs that involve transferring large files.

But although Dotcom’s piracy campaign was forcibly grounded, I don’t think users have much to worry about. The death knell of Megaupload will signal a shift in the operation of file-sharing sites, an evolution in which the strongest will survive. This digital Darwinism has knocked off Megaupload for obvious reasons—excessive spending, rewarding copyright violators and obscuring its legal status with anonymous subsidiary companies—and the drastic response by the FBI has encouraged other sites to proudly profess their legitimacy and others to clean up their act.

According to Techcrunch.com, free-form file-sharing sites such as Filejungle, 4shared and Uploadstation are deleting premium accounts, cancelling affiliate programs and disabling sharing so that users can only download what they themselves upload. Others have gone as far as to ban all U.S. IP addresses.

The demise of Megaupload has undoubtedly spooked sites that are economically fueled by sharing, an unpredictable and risky business, but the file-sharing model is not dead. Rather, it will have to adapt a system that avoids copyright violations, especially monitoring dangerous Google links that lead to material owned by other parties.

And knowing the impatience of cyber crooks, as soon as the hype around SOPA dies down, we might see a Megaupload clone pop up, only to be destroyed and cause another revolution in the technicality-filled world of file-sharing.

Relationships can be so seasonal. There’s always the sudden rush around the holidays in the spirit of giving, family gatherings, mistletoe, etc, which makes it easy to get caught up in relationship fever. But once spring semester hits, the snow starts to clear and actual ‘rush’ begins, more and more students become single.

Sounds easy. But what happens when your high school sweetheart becomes Mr. Frat-daddy and leaves you in the dust? Chances are, a break up is in your near future and whether or not its you who initiates it, you’re not going to be happy about it. So what do you do? Well, you have options. You can sulk around, close your door to friends, listen to Sarah McLachlan on repeat and purchase a kitten and grow old together, OR you can take my advice and create a better situation for a better you.

1. Step One: Let the douchebag go.

Remember that old nursery rhyme “If he hollers let him go?” If he’s giving you any indication that he wants his single life back and that you’re just a hindrance in his newfound lifestyle of sorostitute-filled weekends, do yourself a favor and absolutely let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game. Why? Because you don’t want or need the drama. Because you don’t want to sit around waiting for someone who keeps you solely as an option rather than a priority. Because you have respect for yourself. And most importantly: Because chances are, he wants to get it in with half the campus and STDs aren’t really your style.

2. Step Two: Go to the gym.

I know that sitting around eating Ben and Jerry’s and watching those sad animal commercials on TV are more your speed after a breakup, but seriously—that’s basically letting your ex win. Get up and get to the gym. It’s been proven that working out and physical activity in general have natural health and happiness benefits, so get like Elle Woods and boost your endorphins “because endorphins make you happy and happy people just don’t kill their husbands” (or, in this case, ex-boyfriends). When my long-term boyfriend and I broke up, I immediately got myself to the gym. As a result, I was able to get confidence back that I never thought I would. I had nothing to lose—except 25 pounds!

3.  Step Three: Go Out

Trust me, I understand that it’s a little difficult at first and the only thing you want to do is text your ex or call them when you’re drunk, but let your friends do you a favor with this one. When you go out, give them your phone; have some self-control. Nothing looks worse than drunken calls after a breakup because it looks desperate. It’s important to surround yourself with friends and new people. Distract yourself. Keep yourself busy. That way, you’ll have less time to overanalyze what would’ve, could’ve, should’ve been, because let’s be serious: your ex certainly isn’t.

4. Step Four: Get your bookworm on

Sign up for things. Get involved. There are enough different clubs and organizations on this campus to keep you busy 24/7. Sign up for something that interests you, where you can meet new people. Apply for a job on or off-campus. Some of my best friends have come from my workplace. It gives you an outlet, especially if it’s a job off-campus. You’ll be making money, making friends and getting your sad self away from the situation. Another thing to consider is studying in the library. Study either with people or in Pages; don’t just sulk around and be all by yourself. Becoming a hermit after a breakup only limits the freedom you’ve just been handed. Do your work and boost your grades. Make something great out of a shitty situation. Everyone knows you’re hurt; you know you’re hurt. Don’t let the things that matter know you’re hurt too. Challenge yourself to move on for the better.

Get yourself back on track for the new semester. Being single isn’t a death sentence, but rather an opportunity to be a free man or woman. No more waiting by the phone, arguing, wondering what the other person is doing, or any of the other bullshit that come with a relationship. If it was meant to be, give it time. You’re only in college once; you deserve to have fun.

thecampussocialite.com

By Laura Cohen

So you’ve met a girl or guy who seems pretty chill. You two hang out a few times, you’re hooking up and things are seemingly going well. But, soon you notice your inbox is completely flooded with texts from that one person. When you don’t answer within five minutes, they send something else. When you don’t answer within an hour, you get the frantic phone calls. They always want to know where you are, whom you are with and what you are doing.

It looks like you’ve got a stage five clinger on your hands. A stage five clinger worships the ground you walk on and typically thinks your relationship is more than it actually is. You may see this as a casual, non-exclusive hook up, while they see it as a more serious relationship. Your two different views make things a bit complicated.

People usually flee from these clingers as they begin to feel smothered and yearn for some freedom. The clinger is too available. For some reason, though, we like the chase. There is something exciting about the uncertainty when starting out a “relationship” with someone.

But, maybe it’s time we re-examine the clinger. Their infatuation with you is actually somewhat flattering. Let’s not blame them for their interest. You are, after all, worthy of the admiration. Instead of instantly writing them off, it may be worthwhile helping them tone down their need to cling. Try to target the reason behind their clinginess.

If he or she doesn’t seem to have many other people to hang out with, introduce your clinger to some new friends. New friendships lead to new social events, so you may finally get some nights where you each do your own thing—separately.

If they seem to have no other obligations than to hang out with you, encourage some new interests. When a clinger sees you pursuing your own hobbies or passions, they may be inspired to pick up some of their own.

While confrontation may be awkward, it really is the best way to let your clinger know how you feel. You should be on the same page in terms of your status. Whether you’re an exclusive item, together without a label or just friends with benefits, it’s important to know what the boundaries are. Get this out there now, before you end up hooking up with someone else and your clinger has a meltdown.

If all else fails, it may be best to detach the clinger. He or she will of course be crushed. They’ll be angry and probably will talk shit behind your back, or become depressed and launch a tearful stakeout near your house. However, their intense reaction will just be more confirmation that you did the right thing. Clingy isn’t cute, and it never will be.

fab.com

By Lauryn Botterman

If you’re ever second-guessing your fashion sense, refer to this guide for a few handy rules and pointers.

Class

Perfecting the ideal weekday ensemble is a fine art. You shouldn’t show up to your 9:30 Psych lecture looking like you’re ready to rage, nor should your outfit scream “I’m a total scrub.” Like it or not, people will judge you based on what you choose to wear, so it’s in your best interest to take some pride in your appearance. Plus, classes are prime time to scope out potential hookups. If you’re donning the oversized sweatpants/sweatshirt getup that you haven’t washed in three weeks, it’s doubtful that you’ll get a second glance.

On the other hand, you certainly don’t want to give off the impression that you’re trying too hard. Girls, anything that you would consider wearing to a Saturday night at the bars (read: sequins, skin-tight skirts, crop tops) is most likely inappropriate. Stick with skinny jeans or leggings and a cute sweater and you’ll be good to go. You don’t need to spend an hour perfecting your makeup, but a little mascara, blush and tinted lip balm can go a long way. The goal is to look put-together as opposed to slutty or sloppy.

For guys, the rules are pretty straightforward. Please don’t come to class in your flannel SpongeBob jammies. It must be really tough to roll out of bed, brush your teeth and sift through the pile of clothes on your floor for something to wear, but taking three extra minutes to pick out a well-fitting T-shirt and jeans is worth your while. And for the love of God, no Ed Hardy!

Party Attire

Ladies, there is a fine line between risqué and Not Okay. Showing some skin and a hint of cleavage is all in good fun, but when shit takes a turn into I Can See Your Hoochie Town, you need to cover up. If you plan on maintaining any shred of dignity, it’s always wise to leave something to the imagination. Plus, a combination of being inebriated and surrounded by sweaty co-eds in a crowded basement is particularly likely to cause wardrobe malfunctions.

Better make sure the goodies are tucked in safe and secure before the night begins. Also, don’t be another drunk girl waltzing around in sub-zero temperatures in a minidress and heels. Bring along a cheap, but warm, jacket to wear on your way to those frat parties (a “fracket,” as I like to call it) and consider layering sweatpants over your bare legs. You may not look so sexy en route, but at least you’ll avoid hypothermia.

Men have mostly standard options for weekend wear as well: jeans and a T-shirt or polo if you’re feeling fancy (but don’t pop your collar, douche). You can also try blending casual and classy by pairing Levi’s with a button-down. Complete the look with a spritz or two (less is more here) of your favorite cologne (not pubescent aerosol body spray) and your trusty boots or Nikes.

And for future reference, here are some fashion faux pas and unfortunate trends that you should never wear in public:

• Ugg boots (only acceptable in the privacy of your own home)
• Sunglasses indoors
• Sunglasses when it’s dark outside
• Leggings made of pleather or adorned with any animal print
• Skinny jeans on guys (even hipsters can’t totally pull it off)
• Navy blue and black paired together in one outfit
• Acrylic nails (particularly those with obnoxious colors or patterns)
• Pajama jeans (what the fuck?)

Good luck, look sharp and stay classy.

soffrontblog.com

By Laura Cohen

Ever hear someone say, “Out with the old, in with the new?” That’s the best advice for proceeding into the New Year and also the new semester. By putting behind any and all baggage from last year, and focusing on the future, we can all make a smooth transition back into our single-ish lifestyles.

First, take a look around your room and identify what is definitely not yours (or your roommate’s). Take that oversized t-shirt he sent you home in last fall and cut it up into a cropped tank top. That girl who never answers your calls still doesn’t want her hoodie back? Give it to Goodwill. Think of this as your personal feng-shui.

Next, scroll through your cell phone contacts and give it a cleaning. If you constantly drunk text the same guy after 3 a.m. and always regret it, erase him. If you don’t remember the last time you spoke to “Jenny from the bar,” it’s time for her to go. Save yourself the embarrassment and say “Good-bye, 2011 booty call!”

Now, on to Facebook. If you’re still stalking someone you had a failed fling with last summer, end those pity parties and delete them, or at least hide them from your news feed. While you’re there, take a look at your own page. With the new stalker-friendly Timeline everyone can dive deep, deep into your past. If you don’t want all your exes present on your profile, take this time to review your page and decide what is suitable for the public eye and what’s better hidden away forever.

After cleansing yourself of the past, you may realize this month-long reprieve from a happening social life at college has left you a little rusty. Don’t panic. It is quite possible for you to get back into the swing of things.

First, think about why your relationships failed last year, and actually try to change those old habits. Feel free to make some resolutions, and since they concern your dating life, you may actually stick to them.

Then, figure out your priorities and set some goals. What do you want? If you feel like you were too reserved last semester, don’t be afraid to let loose and go hard this time around. If your player reputation has gotten a little old, try pursuing a more consistent hook-up. If you’re not so proud of your history, try playing a little harder to get. A walk of shame in this weather isn’t much fun anyway.

After taking this into consideration, please welcome 2012 with open arms…and maybe a few potential suitors as well.

www.LasDelicias.com

By AJ Allen

Old Christmas decorations and neon bar signs adorn the outside of one of the many restaurants on Syracuse’s Westcott Street. Las Delicias Restaurant boasts “the best authentic Caribbean food in Central New York,” but the cover of their menu should read “the most easily accessible Caribbean food restaurant to Syracuse University students.”

After waiting about 10 minutes at my seat to be served in an almost empty restaurant, I walked up to the bar. In my pro-action, I asked the cashier/cook what she recommended that I order in hopes I would experience the best that the restaurant had to offer. I was answered with a variety of options. “What do you like,” she responded, “fish, chicken, steak?” When I answered with “chicken,” she began to read off all of the menu items that were under the section titled “chicken.” I decided to order “pollo guisado” (translation: stewed chicken).

As I waited, I noticed that the waitress approached an older couple sitting behind me; perhaps, they didn’t expect a college student to dine in. I smelled the thick spices permeate through the restaurant, listened to the loud Latin music that played through the speakers and heard the kitchen staff communicate with each other in their native tongue. Posters of Castillo San Felipe del Morro de San Juan and other Puerto Rican scenes covered one wall—the restaurant’s primary influence was evident.

When the food finally arrived, it was a bit colder than I had hoped. The chicken, potatoes, carrots, black beans, yellow rice and green olives were drowned in a pool of broth that I could only assume consisted of authentic Caribbean spices. In a few minutes, the restaurant made up for all its past blunders. “Do you like it,” the waitress, who had previously helped me decide what to order, asked from behind the bar. I continued chewing and gave her a thumbs up. Indeed, I did enjoy the food.

The restaurant’s self-service emphasis would be acceptable anywhere on Marshall Street, but if you’re a Syracuse University student who traveled all the way to Westcott Street from campus, you might have higher expectations. The food at Las Delicias is good, but not worth the long journey. To any student wanting to try something you can’t get on campus, I would suggest ordering in. Conveniently, Las Delicias is on campusfood.com. So pull out your laptops and credit cards, and the next time dining hall food fails to suffice and you’re sick of Jimmy Johns, try some Puerto Rican cuisine.

sweettalkonthespot.com

By Lindsay Dolak

So, I have this friend. And she’s a whore—or at least that’s what some girl screamed at her at a party last weekend. Apparently, she slept with that same girl’s ex-boyfriend. My friend told her not to take it personally and that he wasn’t the only guy she’d slept with that month, so it wasn’t like she had a particular agenda against her. So, yeah, she’s a whore with a number somewhere past 12 or 15. Sooo slutty, right?

Why is it then that when a boy bangs as many girls as she’s given it up to does he receive high fives and some kind of golden status in the eyes of his bros while she gets accosted by drunk girls and labeled as “easy” by males and females alike? Is it really so hard to believe that maybe, just maybe, girls simply enjoy having sex?

It shouldn’t be so difficult to understand that just because something doesn’t erect in our pants every time we’re in the mood doesn’t mean we don’t get just as horny as frat guys and the football team on the weekends.

Although it seems that in this day and age the idea of woman as sexual beings is becoming more widely accepted, the dirty side eye glances we still get during our Saturday morning walk of shame paint a different picture. I’m not advocating for random sex and one-night stands, but I am putting into question the double standard. Urban dictionary’s definitions of words like whore and smut only include descriptions of females and have negative connotations. The website defines “whore” as “a woman who sleeps with everyone;” whereas, the website defines “man whore” as “one certain male individual who enjoys the sexual intercourse of others more than average.” Suddenly, the addition of the word man pretty much wipes away the negative association.

It can be frustrating, as a female, dealing with the less than attractive names that come with having multiple sexual partners. Am I, or any other girl for that matter, expected to just wait around for that one guy who can hopefully bring us satisfaction? That is, only after monogamy, of course. Maybe girls shouldn’t be slutty, but neither should guys. Don’t worry, I’m not going to preach the abstinence message to everyone. I’m just going to tell all the hypocritical men of the world with a desire for a girl who’s experienced, but virgin-esque, but not a virgin, to shut the hell up.

The double standards are getting ridiculous and, quite frankly, getting old. A girl is not a sexual deviant even if she sleeps with anything that moves or has a number close to yours, guys. Being a “whore” does not mean all standards have lowered, if not completely disappeared. I know plenty of girls who enjoy the occasional romp between the sheets; it doesn’t mean they’re going to give blowjobs in bar bathrooms. Let’s mature a little and chill with our judgments. I pinky promise to not call you a dirty slut if you swear you won’t call me a whore. Agreed?

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By Lauryn Botterman

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but it’s time to get your shit together. A new semester is underway, and it holds the promise of academic advancement, networking opportunities and the chance to finally attend meetings for those meaningless resume fillers extracurricular activities you had conveniently forgotten about. Let this be the semester where you acquire more A’s than STDs, spend more money on books than booze and at least pretend like you can function as a productive member of society.

A bit too much to ask, you say? Take some hints from this fail-proof guide to getting your ass in gear after winter break.*

1. Set alarms—for everything

If you spent the majority of the past month drinking on weeknights, sleeping till noon and nursing your continuous hangover with marathons of “Kim and Kourtney Take New York,” you need to relearn the art of sticking to a schedule. It will take some time to adjust, but you can jumpstart this process by becoming best friends with your handy dandy phone alarm. Surely you’ve set your alarm as a reminder to wake the fuck up or go to class, but it can also be used as a strategic tool in ‘Operation Organize Your Life.’ Set an alarm for breakfast, lunch and dinner; set it for bathroom breaks, friend time, friends-with-benefits time, gym time, homework time, party time, hammer time. Carve your day into as many structured activities as possible. Warn your roommates and friends that these alarms now rule your existence and adhere strictly to this schedule. Also, be sure to select the loudest and most obnoxious sound setting on your phone so as to fool passersby into thinking that you have some very urgent business to attend to. And here’s the catch: No hitting the snooze button. Ever.

2. Stop procrastinating

Time management skills! You need them—ASAP! For realsies, you can avoid a whole lot of stress and anxiety if only you learn to get your shit done on time. Convincing yourself that you “work well under pressure” is no longer a valid excuse. But before you start popping Adderall like it’s candy, consider this drug-free alternative: Mac users can download the Self Control app which will ask you to add selected websites to a “blacklist.” The app will then block your access to these sites for a designated amount of time, allowing you to write your paper or do research online without mindlessly scrolling through Facebook or Twitter every four minutes. Brilliant!

3. Help your friends get their shit together

What could possibly be more fun than relentlessly berating your friends and loved ones about their flaws and insecurities?! Nothing, obviously! Helping your friends sort out their lives might inspire you to reach your own goals. Get a support group together, motivate each other and figure shit out as a team. It may not be easy, but it’s slightly more fun.

*results not guaranteed

thefastertimes.com

By Charlie Ecenbarger

Just before the fall semester ended we gave you a glimpse of SOPA (Stop Online Piracy Act) and what it was going to destroy internet as we know it. In the last month there has been more than a few developments in the story and it seems as if things are turning around for the better.

Representative Lamar Smith of Texas, the author of SOPA, has declared he would remove the DNS-Blocking provision from the bill. What does this mean, you ask? It means that the fed can’t censor the internet – and neither can Internet Service Providers since the provision allowed the same type of power over what can be viewed off of their bandwidth.

For example in the Syracuse area the only two internet providers are Time Warner and Verizon. Under SOPA either company would have the power to block out access to their competition’s websites, effectively censoring the freedom of the internet and information. On a larger scale if there was a series of websites that the federal government did not agree with, let’s say the Occupy Movement, the feds could order their websites shut down by claiming copyright infringement.

Yeah. I don’t get it either.

SOPA was championed as a bill that would put a stop to foreign countries infringing on American copyright. The problem is the language used in the bill gives way to more censorship than anyone who regularly uses the internet would be happy with; Let alone anyone who just enjoys their own personal freedoms.

The Center for Democracy and Technology has a list  well over 600 people and companies who oppose SOPA. Among them is SU alumni Dennis Crowley along his company Foursquare, Facebook, Google, Twitter, and the list goes on.

A few of the opponents to SOPA have even planned a blackout which would simulate the effects on the internet if the bill was to pass. Icanhascheezburger.com, Reddit.com, among others will be going dark on the January 18 in protest of SOPA.

I find this to be a very powerful statement, although some of the more interesting moves are by video game companies. The wildly popular game Minecraft, which has over 20 million players, will shut down its website and servers for the day to simulate the effects. Riot Games, who developed and host servers for the popular battle arena game League of Legends, will also be shutting down their operation for the day.

Gamers are a ruthless bunch and given the amount of people playing these games, I’m sure not all of them know what is going on. The backlash that we may see when these two games go dark could be huge. I think it will inspire those who don’t know about SOPA to educate themselves and give those who are informed a reality check of what SOPA really means to the future of the internet. This goes for everyone participating in the blackouts. Some of the sites who are taking part in the blackouts are very popular with huge, dedicated followings. The authors of SOPA are already starting to back down due to the outcry – I don’t foresee the bill lasting much longer after the blackouts hit.

A full list of blackout websites can be found here.
The Center of Democracy and Technology’s list of opponents can be found here.

photo credit: http://www.bulletonline.org

There are plenty of real-world signs to tip you off that someone is single. Some may obsessively text, shamelessly flirt, excessively hook-up, or wear unnaturally revealing clothes one might mistake for lingerie.

Most signs, however, aren’t so blatantly obvious. If you’re wondering when somebody’s searching too hard, the answer is, of course, found through Facebook stalking. Check for these signals:

Flashy Profile Pictures

We’ve seen people taking self-portraits in their bathroom mirror with a melodramatic expression, maybe with words about their “life challenges.” Or it’s a party scene as they fist-pump the night away. These not-so-subtle simple cries for attention don’t always mean people are “desperate,” so check if the person frequently switches between profile pics like this; if they do, they’re desperate.

Corny Status Updates

Preaching ideas of living life to the fullest, finding “the one,”or some sappy song lyrics (possibly from Adele). Bonus points if they include inspirational pictures. These updates serve two purposes:

• Reminding their friends they’re not lonely.
• Reminding themselves they’re not lonely.

Photos of Themselves

See if there’s a stream of Myspace-esque self-photos, whether they took them or forced someone else to. Common ones are from their rooms, in the mirror, in a sassy pose, or wearing swimwear. This shows they want to spread their face around, hoping someone falls in love at first sight.

Some photos are taken overhead while they lie in bed.  It’s a direct and slightly sexual sign of…well, desperation.

Taking Facebook too Seriously

“Why didn’t you like my status? You just ignored my comment? And how come you never looked at my pics? What is your problem?!?!”

When people feel like they don’t have enough faith in their real-world relationships, they may turn to their Facebook “relationships” to compensate. But trying to make your life out of what happens on a website comes off as…oh, you know by now.

Photo Credit: www.punkster.com

By Lauryn Botterman

Finals flat out blow. Besides the fact that you have to become an uber nerd to prepare, you are also faced with the taunting anticipation of Winter Break. This mixture of excitement, anxiety, and the ridiculous amount of caffeine you will consume in the next week is the perfect recipe for a heart attack. All complaining aside, you will eventually have to buckle down and take the God-forsaken final. Follow these tips and the next few weeks will be smooth sailing. Good luck!

Be anti-social. Deal with your separation anxiety for a few hours and give your friends the boot. Find a quiet and secluded place to study. When you’re trying to cram 150 pages of that reading you didn’t do all semester, your friends constant chatter isn’t going to help you.

Sleep. Set a schedule and remember to pencil in some sleeping time. If you give yourself enough time you shouldn’t have to make any all-nighters. Sleep is vital for memory and focus.

Take an active break. If you’ve been sitting for a while, take a break to walk around for a while. Physical activity can relieve tension and stress, not to mention when your ass starts to hurt from sitting for hours you should probably move a little.

Fucking study. Point blank, if you’re not going to study you’re going to fail. Quit the whining and deal with it. If you find that you haven’t started studying until the night before, well then ditch all of these tips and start cramming.

Photo Credit: peperonity.com

By Lindsay Dolak

Ever been asked, “so what’s your major?” I’m sure you have, but did you ever stop to think about what information about yourself you might be giving away with your simple one or two word answer? One’s major says quite a lot. People immediately begin to judge what kind of person you are, where your interests lay, what you hope to end up doing with your life, and what you’re like in bed…

Business

What do business majors want to do? Control the nation’s top companies. What do business majors want to do in bed? Control you. These one-percent hopefuls of America are all about being in charge. They’re looking for financial success and, in this case, orgasmic success. Quite frankly, yours is not important. Expect a lot of them-on-top positions, commands, hair pulling, hands-around-your-neck-type lovemaking. These boys and girls are born competitive, driven and know how to get what they want. Don’t worry, though, they’re used to dealing with the ups and downs of a rough market and can slow it down if need be. But they’re still the CEOs of the bedroom, so don’t expect to be calling many shots.

Political Science

In other words, the Great Debater. These future lawyers and politicians are going to fight until they winq. They do what politicians do best: claim to be fighting for everyone, while really just promoting their own success. Just think: willing to be on top so it appears they’re doing the work for you, while stimulating themselves. Sound selfish? More like smart. However, no stranger to the idea of justice, they’re willing to give and take, receive as well as provide, if you know what I’m saying. If you can convince them that a good outcome for you will promise a good outcome for them, you’re all set. It just might take a little physical argument.

Mass Communications

The future writers, talk-show hosts, and post-game analysts. The controllers of all things media and communications. Did you miss something? They’re communicators, the heads of sexual public relations, and they know how to use their words to get to that special “press release.” Dirty talk is a must. Make sure you’re tuned to the right broadcast because they’ll tell you what they want. Being the attention-seekers they are, they’re often times not shy and quite willing to put on a show for those willing to be their audience and give them praise. Heads up though, these students are nit-picky, editing geniuses and won’t be happy with a rough draft. Make sure you’re on top of your game as they expect a head-of-the-class performance.

Art

The creative types. Those who can take bland and make it beautiful. In the sexual world, creative equals kinky and these wannabe Van Goghs and Gilles Bensimmons can take even the quietest of hipsters and turn them into sexual deviants. They’ll do it all and expect their partners to be open to interpretation. Their worst enemies are the critics, so don’t hate on what they create. I’d be surprised if you had reason to do so. They’re artists and not afraid for things to get colorful. Your body is their blank canvas and they take immense pride in their work, even when it’s mediocre. They’ll put their signature on it, whether it’s with a bite mark or a back scratch.

Pre-Med

Someone interested in all things body? Yes, please. They may spend their days in long lab coats and weird goggles, but there’s no denying these future McDreamys and Dr. Houses know their way around the human anatomy. They promise to be good with their fingers and pressure points? They know them all. Maybe they do know a little too much about the inner workings of your body, but who says that’s all bad? If you can find one of these students willing to take a little time out of their study schedule to raise your heart rate, I’d reconsider that apple a day and play, play, play.

Supergods by Grant Morrison

Publisher: Spiegel & Grau

“Comics’ ballsiest writer gives a guided tour through the history of sequential art, while interspersing his personal rise to fame. Finally, an explanation for why Superman wore red underwear above his tights for the past 72 years.”

—Flash Steinbeiser, Editor-in-Chief

A Dance with Dragons by George R.R. Martin

Publisher: Bantum

“Reading this series is like being in an abusive relationship and GRRM just continues to play with my emotions. But I’m not leaving.”

—Brittany Slawson, Illustration Director

Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? by Mindy Kaling

Publisher: Crown Archetype

“Mindy Kaling’s personal essays about her life and childhood are so awkwardly endearing, if not a little too true to my own life.”

—Cassandra Baim, Managing Editor

A Stolen Life: A Memoir by Jaycee Dugard

Publisher: Simon & Schuster

“There’s a solid mixture of kidnapping and mystery. It’s like reading an episode of Law & Order: SVU. Fucking rocks.”

—VictoriaTroxler, Assistant Blog Editor

Zone One: A Novel by Colson Whitehead

Publisher: Doubleday

“Novelist, MacArthur Genius Award recipient, and literati member Colson Whitehead tackles the tired zombie apocalypse genre with, well, BRAINSSS.”

—Nate Hopper, Features Editor

Photo by Carly Piersol

SOUNDS LIKE: Sigur Rós, Bon Iver, Brian Eno
WHAT HE JERKS TO: Haruka Nakamura, The Kinsellas, Owen, American Football
BEST SONG: “Tsuki Uta/Simple Parasol Dance”
WHY YOU SHOULD LISTEN UP: Since buying his first guitar in the 7th grade,
the Coatesville, Penn. native has put the independent back in “indie.” Perfect for late nights at the library, wim’s sound could relax even the most Adderall-induced study sessions.
UNLIKELY SOURCE OF INSPIRATION: When he’s not finding inspiration in nature
or childhood, Nicholas gets his fix from Japanese cartoons and The Legend of Zelda. That’s right, you can thank Dragon Ball Z for wim’s music.
WHERE YOU CAN HEAR HIM: Catch wim’s music online for free. His newest
album, “Humming Collection” is available at wimsambivalentpleasure.bandcamp.com.

By Carli Cooper

Dear Carli,
I’m a gentleman and a smart one. I know finishing inside a girl without a condom is bad news, but what’s an alternative location that won’t get me slapped?

Dear Cumfortable,
When it comes to pleasing your partner, her body is a canvas and you’re the artist. Unfortunately, this scenario creates more of a “paint-by-numbers” situation; be careful when placing your finishing touch, or you two may have some artistic differences.

This is a delicate topic for many ladies.  Nothing kills the post-sex buzz like an awkward mess. But it has to go somewhere. Depending on your preferred position, certain places are fair game. If rear-entry is your style, try finishing on her back. For the missionary advocates (all three of you), the stomach is always available.  However, speaking for the majority of young men I’ve known, the favorite spot is fairly obvious: tits—nature’s god-given targets.  They’re a great compromise, and it’s probably the closest you’ll ever get to being Ron Jeremy. Just watch your aim. Maybe you’re actually dating the chick who’s always dreamt of a moneyshot, but, in most cases, you’re better safe than sorry.

Before the heat of the moment carries you away, consider the clean-up and make sure to have a towel or an old t-shirt ready.  If you wipe the guk off your girl before it starts to crust, she may be more willing to try somewhere less conventional next time.  With that in mind, get creative with your masterpiece.

Dear Carli,
I did it—I had a one-night stand.  But I don’t want it to be awkward when I see him again.  How do I transition from a wild night to regular social interaction?

Dear One-Night Standards,
It’s a common misconception that a late-night hook-up, fueled by uninhibited lust and some alcohol, kills any chance of a real relationship. It’s understood that crazy hook-ups are going to happen. It’s how you act the next morning (and beyond) that shapes whether or not you two can move past Saturday night and into the real world.

Plan your exit strategy. If you panic and bolt from the scene, it will be impossible for either of you to ever feel comfortable in public. Have a graceful getaway. No need to leave on an awkward note of shock or horror, or you’ll both be left with a bad impression.

Then, the next time you cross paths, pretend your last time together was over a cup of coffee and not under the sheets. Remember, appear confident and okay with your decisions, not rife with shame and regret. The phrase, “fake it ’til you make it,” isn’t exclusive to horrible sex.

Now, should you try turning one lusty night of passion and pawing into a relationship, forget your grandma’s rules about sex. Just because relationships after first-date sex tend to be the exception instead of the rule, it isn’t totally impossible.

photo credit: toonaripost.com

By Shea Garner

Entertainment on the Internet can be used and manipulated in a variety of ways. Websites like SideReel or tvDuck can help you watch your favorite HBO program only hours after it has finished airing. File sharing websites like MediaFire can give you access to a new or favorite album, instantly.

And while these services might not necessarily be legal, the Internet finds a way around the issue and uploads them for world wide pleasure. But many great things aren’t forever, and Congress is trying to shut down most of the free entertainment on the Internet with the passing of the SOPA/Protect IP Act.

What is this act?

SOPA could shut down most of the sites that host the videos and music that you want access to. Many of these host sites are from outside the United States, so SOPA would block access to the infringing domain names. Congress would do this by suing any of the said sites, and cutting off any funds the sites garner from advertising.

Why is this so bad?

Hasn’t the government tried to do this before, shutting down file-sharing sites like Napster and LimeWire? SOPA could also shut down start-up sites that they don’t think are filtering well enough. YouTube cover songs would be virtually non-existent and sites that make most of their income from advertising, even Google, would have to shut down.

You can stop the SOPA/Protect IP Act from passing by calling your state congressman and expressing your concern. Tumblr had even set up a “call program” that explains the dangers of SOPA and connects you to your congressman. Many of the congressmen supporting the Protect IP Act have YouTube videos on their sites with song or video content that could be targeted with the very act they’re trying to pass.

If SOPA passes, uploading a Michael Jackson video to YouTube could get you five years in prison. That’s one more year in prison than the doctor who killed him.

What are your thoughts on the Protect IP Act? Have you called your congressman? Let us know in the comments section below.

photo credit: lindaskitcheninc.com

By Allison Joy

No matter what holiday you’re celebrating this season, we can all agree that gingerbread men are freaking delicious and adorable. Cook up a batch of these cute lil’ guys and wash them down with a shot of chocolate syrup and peppermint Schnapps. Here’s to a wonderful holiday season!

Gingerbread Men

1 (3.5 oz) package butterscotch pudding mix

½ cup butter

½ cup brown sugar

1 egg

1 ½ cups all-purpose flour

½ tsp baking soda

1 ½ tsp ground ginger

1 tsp ground cinnamon

1. In a medium sized bowl, mix dry pudding mix, butter, and brown sugar until smooth. Stir in egg.

2. Combine flour, baking soda, ginger, and cinnamon and mix. Stir into the pudding mixture. Cover and chill for an hour until firm.

3. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease baking sheet.

4. On a floured board, roll dough to 1/8” thickness and cut into gingerbread man shapes with a cookie cutter, or freestyle by hand. Place cookies 2 inches apart on the baking sheet.

5. Bake for 10 to 12 minutes or until golden brown. Let cool and serve!

Chocolate Peppermint Schnapps

Hershey’s Chocolate Syrup

Peppermint Schnapps

1. Pour a portion of chocolate syrup into your mouth.

2. Take a shot of peppermint schnapps and let the syrup mix.

Illustration by Andrew Casadonte

Grace Davis had just left her first Syracuse University football game when a phone call about her high school boyfriend left her speechless. On September 5, 2009, Matt, whom Grace had been dating for three years, contracted the H1N1 swine flu from his roommates at Miami University in Ohio, only a week after arriving at school for his freshman year. He was fine when Grace last spoke with him. But now he’d become unresponsive and needed an airlift to the hospital.

Within hours, Grace was dressed in a biohazard suit, sitting by Matt’s side in a quarantined hospital room. The two had been inseparable since their sophomore year and were known as Mr. and Mrs. Bing by their entire high school, as Matt’s sense of humor mirrored Chandler’s from Friends. They spent the next few hours talking and, despite his illness, Matt still continued to crack the occasional joke. When time came for him to be put in an induced coma to relieve stress on his body, they both said, “See you soon,” never expecting it to be their final goodbye.

After three weeks in a coma, Matt passed away and Grace, a health education and human service policy major, made the difficult decision to resume her freshman year at Syracuse University with a half-empty heart. “I came back right away because I knew if I didn’t then, I never would have,” she says. “I knew I was never going to move on from Matt’s death. No semester, or year, or any amount of time was going to be enough.”

College years are commonly considered the best years of someone’s life. But for those grieving the death of a loved one, they can be the hardest. According to a 2010 study by Dr. David Balk, a professor at Brooklyn College, nearly two of every three college students have lost a family member or friend within the last 12 months. Half have experienced a loss within the past two years.

“It’s important to not dump all bereaved college students into one group and say they all respond the same way, because some recover quickly and others take quite a while,” says Balk, who’s researched college student bereavement for nearly 30 years.

Academic pressure, being away from home, and insensitivity from professors and friends who can’t understand or relate to one’s grief can all affect a student’s ability to recover. Since many adolescents establish an identity and form meaningful relationships in their college years, loss can cause students to question who they are and what they know about the world.

It is not uncommon for students to experience social isolation and withdrawal as they cope, since they either don’t want to talk about their loss or refrain from discussion because it makes their friends uncomfortable. This forces them to camouflage their grief, making it even more difficult to grow and maintain close relationships.

Amanda Drapkin, a sophomore fashion design major, and the youngest of six siblings when she lost her 23-year-old brother, Dustin, in March of her senior year of high school. He unexpectedly passed away due to complications from a vaccine he was given to help minimize inflammation in his throat. Amanda’s parents tried to persuade her to stay home instead of returning to her first semester at SU so soon after her brother’s death. But Amanda insisted on going, hoping that school would be the distraction she needed.

In addition to social struggles, Phil Meilman, the director of counseling and psychiatric services at Georgetown University, says the loss of a loved one can cause students to lose motivation and have difficulty concentrating, which hinders academic performance. In a majority of cases, a student’s grade point average declines during the semester they experience a loss.

In the beginning, Amanda enjoyed meeting new people, but once classes started, the responsibilities became increasingly difficult to handle. She found herself constantly thinking about her brother. Amanda felt unmotivated and indifferent about her own life, causing her to drop classes and put off coursework until the last minute. When one of Amanda’s close friends from home took his life toward the end of her first semester, her stress and anxiety levels rose too high. She returned home for the rest of the semester. “Looking back on it, it would have been wiser to deal with my situation at home in an environment I was used to before leaving for college,” she says.

Syracuse does not have a formal bereavement policy. Corey Wallack, the director of the counseling center at SU, thinks the university does a good job supporting students through loss. The Office of Student Assistance advocates for students by providing them with absentee notices and coordinating incompletes or leaves of absence, if necessary. Wallack says, “The system functions very well, but a formal bereavement policy is worth exploring to further safeguard students.”

Amanda thinks there is alot of room for improvement. Although all of her professors helped as much as they could, the university refused to count her time away after her first semester as an official emergency leave of absence, which brought her GPA down considerably.

Wallack says the first question he asks bereaved students is if they are capable of staying at school and completing courses for the semester. “Students need to ask themselves if they are better off being at home or with friends at school, and there isn’t a concrete answer for this,” Wallack says. Some students feel more comforted at home, while others, like senior sport and human dynamics major Jordan Josephs, need the escape of college.

The summer after his freshman year at SU, Jordan’s brother and his friend of six years died when a tractor-trailer hit their car, creating an explosion that killed them both. Jordan found comfort in returning to school at the end of the summer and distancing himself from the sadness back home. That summer, he also lost his grandfather, his closest family member, and struggled with grieving the deaths of three important people in his life. “It was just good to come back and be with my other friends again,” he says. “I still think about both of them often, but I know at some point you need to move on from the sadness.”

When it comes to how one copes, Wallack says it’s important for students to know that there’s not a right way to do it. “You need to do what feels right to you in the moment,” he says. “Don’t worry about doing what others want or expect.”

He suggests talking to at least a couple of trusted friends, since many people turn their grief inward out of the fear of burdening others and feel like they can’t understand. Wallack says it’s possible to help friends understand just by talking about the loved one and honoring their memory through stories. Dr. Tamina Toray, a professor in the psychology division of Western Oregon University, has found that students who have social support at college are not as negatively affected by grief as those who do not. College students, like the rest of the population, often find formal counseling difficult because of the associated generalizations and the feeling that counselors can’t relate.

The counseling center is another vital resource Wallack recommends. But the stigma of seeing a professional discourages students from using its resources, such as the counselors or peer grief group, which had to be canceled this year due to lack of student participation. At first, Grace was opposed to seeing a professional because she couldn’t imagine sitting on a couch and trying to explain who Matt was to a complete stranger, but eventually she got past the negative image and says the counseling helped. “I’m a big advocate for talking to someone, but only when you’re ready to,” Grace says. But she still attributes most of her healing to the incredible support from her friends, some self-therapy, and a trip to Uganda last summer that allowed for some much needed soul searching.

For Amanda, healing came in the form of art. Right after Dustin passed away, she would go to the cemetery, in front of his grave and sketch for hours. Amanda still turns to self-expression to help her through hard times. It reminds her of her brother’s creativity, which she admired so much.

Dr. Toray says although it might feel like things will never get better, they ultimately will with the right resources. “We hold memories of these people but we do move on and things do shift when it’s time,” she says. “Everyone is different in terms of what that time means, but there is less suffering in the future.”

Over two years since her final few hours with Matt in the hospital, Grace is finally beginning to listen again to the music that played an important role in their relationship. She still finds herself daydreaming about what Mr. and Mrs. Bing would have been like throughout college. But she keeps Matt alive by living how he did and not stressing over the little things, like he’d taught her since they met. “Matt gave me the biggest gift,” Grace says.” Now that I look back at it, I just think, ‘Life is short, relax like Matt would want you to do.’”

Album Release Date: January 16, 2011

TOP TRACK: “Dance Rites”

BOTTOM TRACK: “Musik Von Metaphysik”

3 Nancies

What started in 2006 as a completely electronic solo side-project from post-rock band yndi halda, A Lily has evolved into something far different. Frontman James Vella enlists band members in his latest effort, “Thunder Ate The IronTree,” to cultivate a more organic sound. While maintaining the moody ambience from which the project was born, Vella employs banjos, harps, and strings. Most startlingly, he introduces vocals to his formerly voiceless project. But the sound Vella taps into is one already well versed by contemporaries like Do Make Say Think and Mogwai. A Lily keeps a fresh sound by divulging into more pastoral elements, but it comes at the expense of a distinctive and intimate identity.

New York State may have exonerated Roy Brown of a murder charge, but now his pre-prison life doesn't feel the same.

Roy Brown limped out of the courtroom in the Cayuga County Court House with his arms wrapped around his two lawyers’ shoulders. After he mumbled a few answers to reporters, Roy’s lawyers supported him down a set of stairs, coaxing him, “You’re almost there.” They guided him around the metal detector, into the lobby and the arms of his crying younger sister, Billie Jo Kuzcynski. She grasped his neck, and other family members joined the hug. His cirrhosis, in its final stages, had emaciated him. His eyes sank into the shadows cast by his brow. His cropped hair was a dim gray; his taut skin, a pallid sulfur tone. Amidst the celebration, he looked incapable of mustering a smile.

About 15 years earlier, a Cayuga County jury convicted Roy of the murder of Sabina Kulakowski, a vivacious, pixie-like county social worker. Firemen found her dead in a field near the smoldering farmhouse where she lived. She was naked, stabbed, and bitten, with many of her injuries seemingly inflicted after her death. The murder occurred days after Roy finished an eight-month sentence for drunkenly threatening to blow off another county social worker’s head with a shotgun if he didn’t allow Roy visitations with his daughter. And while Roy had never heard of Kulakowski or the town she lived in, didn’t own a car, and had too few teeth to create the bite marks on her body—the crux of the prosecution’s case—a slew of shady testimonies, damning evidence hidden by the police, and apparent spite from the presiding judge led to his conviction and a 25-to-life sentence.

During his 15-year imprisonment, Roy attempted to hang himself from a pipe in his cell, but the wet mop string snapped under his weight. He more than doubled the infirmary doctors’ prediction of how long he’d survive his cirrhosis. His older brother Tim remembers a doctor telling him during a visit with Roy, “Listen, if he goes back into the infirmary again, you can’t visit. You can claim the body if he dies. That’s it.” Roy studied in the prison’s law library and completed the bulk of the investigation and legal work that eventually freed him a decade after his lawyers told him there was no more he could do.

He survived. He survived to become the 196th person in the United States exonerated because of DNA evidence, according to an imperfect—but widely lauded as the most comprehensive count by the Innocence Project, a nonprofit group that supplied lawyers to Roy and many others who were wrongly convicted. Since his release, that number has grown to 278. A free man, Roy walked out of the court house into a cloudy, cold January day with flurries falling around him. He was going home. But like many of those who go to prison, he found that most of the places and people he returned to barely resembled those he’d left.

The trees were gone. They’d been replaced with cityscape. Everyone plucked cell phones—which inmates called “magic phones”—from their pockets. The old bars had been drained. Roy would go looking for his friends, but they’d left or died from a car accident, cancer, and a drug overdose. And Roy’s prison dreams of picking up his kids for the weekends had become dated. One of his daughters had three children. Another had six. In place of those dreams came paranoid nightmares—symptomatic of the PTSD-like effects that several studies have shown the wrongfully imprisoned suffer. In them, the police would arrest Roy for no reason, or he’d be in prison but not question why. Though he’d been released, Roy was still dying. Since exonerated people do not automatically qualify for Medicaid—and few states offer it to them—the Innocence Project worked to ensure Roy’s limited insurance covered the care he needed to keep living. Some days he could barely see. He could hardly walk and would become breathless from standing up. If his gait quickened too much, his knees would buckle. He lived at his brother Don’s house, so Don could look after Roy. But one day, around a week after his release, Roy looked at the snow outside and decided to go buy a newspaper from the corner store. On the walk back, he collapsed in the snow, unconscious. He woke up in the hospital, to Don asking him what he’d been thinking. “You can’t just go walking down the street in your condition,” Don said. Roy replied, “Yes I can, because I’m free. It doesn’t matter if I can make it to the store and back. What matters is I can get up and go.”

As a kid, Roy couldn’t be grounded. He enjoys telling the tales of his travels and recounts them with the candor of someone either raised honest and with blunt disregard for the law, or a liar still competing with his siblings for notoriety. He paints himself as a vagabond, riding the ’70s wave of hitchhiking across the country. At age 13, he hitched back and forth to Michigan to live under the supervision of Tim, who had left home when he was 15; their eldest brother, Butch, left at 16. Roy says he was out “raising hell,” and along the way he picked up several charges and jail stays. One night, a prostitute friend paid him to accompany her around Syracuse, and a car pulled up and asked her what she was doing. Understanding that a deal was about to take place, he said he was her brother and promptly left. But it was a sting, and before he got back to his car, the policemen put him in handcuffs. A couple years later, when a friend who dealt pot convinced Roy to join him on a visit to his stripper girlfriend at her job (under the condition that Roy would get to hang out with some of her coworkers), police pulled them over and discovered guns and scales in the trunk. Because his friend had a baby on the way, Roy says, he took the charges. Roy also picked up a DWI and spent several days in a California jail for hurling gravel at the bouncers of a club he’d been kicked out of.

This photograph of Roy and Billie Jo embracing on the day of his release hangs framed in Billie Jo's living room. She says, "It's one of my favorite memories in life."

During the days after Roy’s release, he and his siblings felt the closest they had in decades. They piled around bed-ridden Roy and flipped through pictures, reminiscing. Aside from moving around to Air Force bases with their mother and stepfather (Billie Jo’s bio- logical father), the Brown children mostly lived apart. Butch, Tim, and Roy moved out, and their other brother, Robert, and Bil- lie Jo also moved around. Because of this, Roy says, he and Billie Jo never grew too close. But Billie Jo says there was another reason—a reason that Roy renounces. She claims that, at an Air Force base in Hawaii, 10-year- old Roy pinned down 6-year-old her for the first time. With one hand, he grabbed her wrists and held them over her head, and with the other, he covered her mouth. She says he raped her and continued raping her for years. She started making sure she and he were never alone together, and kept avoiding him through the murder conviction. “I would tell myself, even though he didn’t kill the woman, he did deserve some jail time for what he did to me,” she says. “But the longer he sat there, I thought, ‘Does he really deserve to die in prison?’ And my guilt started to take over. I never believed my brother was guilty.” And while Tim and Robert, who haven’t spoken with Roy in two-and-a-half years, say Billie Jo told them about the molestation decades ago, Roy says he heard of it for the first time after his release. Billie Jo says she never pressed charges because she was too young to realize the police could protect her. She resigns in a matter-of-fact tone, “There’s no way for me to prove a word of this.”

During Roy’s imprisonment, their ailing mother begged Billie Jo to speak with him. She agreed, and Roy called her. She papered Upstate New York with flyers Roy made to petition his conviction. After she started getting involved with his case in 1994, she enrolled in community college and planned to get a law degree so she could help free Roy; after two years, she matriculated to Syracuse University, where in 2000 she received a bachelor’s in sociology. Roy said she never finished; but her two degrees sit in a box in her attic. She visited Roy, bringing him food packages from their mother. And before their mother died in February, 2002, she made Bil- lie Jo promise to do everything she could to get Roy exonerated. The two grew close for the first time. “His values did change—he developed some,” Billie Jo says, with a chuckle.

Roy planned to live with Billie Jo upon release and wrote her into his will as the trustee of his estate. He planned to receive a settlement from the state to compensate him for the injustice. But he didn’t expect to live to see the money, so he trusted her to split the settlement among his children and the grandchildren he’d never met.

On Mother’s Day, 2007, Roy received the call that doctors told him not to expect: they had a liver transplant for him. As he woke from the anesthesia, he remembers looking at his hands, no longer yellow, and telling himself, “That’s the color of life.” About four days into his recovery, Roy received a visit from his first but estranged love, Raina. The two met as 13-year-olds outside a bar their parents frequented. They began dating and Roy fell in love for the first time. At 14, when Roy says he had his own apartment and job earning $170 a week, he told her they could grow old together. But Raina recoiled at the idea of growing up so fast and they eventually broke up and grew out of touch. When she came to see him at the hospital, they kissed and she held him like miles, failed marriages, and plain years had never separated them. They fell back in love. But Billie Jo says she and Robert worried about Raina’s intentions: she showed up at the hospital just days after news outlets reported Roy would live to see the impending money. Tim discards the accusation though, “It’s so easy for family to blame somebody else for what’s going on with their brother.”

On Dec. 8, 2008, Roy received a $2.6 million settlement from New York State to compensate him for the time he lost. The settlement was a luxury that, according to Innocence Project statistics, 40 percent of exonerated people do not receive, and 23 states don’t offer. While Roy says he didn’t let money change him, it did hurt his relationships with some of those close to him. He says he paid his siblings $25,000 each, but that he gave Billie Jo an additional $100,000 as a loan so she could start a bottle-return business. Billie Jo says it was a gift for her devotion through prison—matched only by their brother Don, who Billie Jo says also received more money. Roy expected her to pay him back and says the discrepancy is the core of why they haven’t spoken in over two years. She says they fell out of touch because of a heroin-fueled drug binge, which he denies.

The settlement money afforded Roy the opportunity to avoid the struggles with depreciated job skills that exonerated people experience. He became a full-time landlord and owns several apartments in Florida and Syracuse. Outside his home in Chittenango, a red Lamborghini is parked in a three-car garage; three sports cars, including a Bentley, sit in his driveway, beside a white Lincoln stretch limo in the front lawn; and a mounted deer head lies in the corner of the stone garden by the front. An unhung print of a painting and a frame rest in a corner in his sitting room, which is decorated somewhere between a church, a therapist’s office and a tropical greenhouse. In another corner prowls a small lion statue and along a wall stands the bust of an angel. Plates with pictures of tigers, toucans, and giraffes are set out on the coffee table in front of a fainting couch. Candles of different sizes and complexions dot the room. He says he got everything on discount: he bought the cars in Florida and the furniture at local flea markets.

But the comfort he constructed couldn’t protect his freedom from threats. Late last October, he was driving around Syracuse with a man he’d hired to paint his kitchen and lay down tiles in his bathroom. On Davis Street, two Syracuse police officers patrolling the area because of its reputation for drugs watched as they pulled up in front of a corner store. They say they saw Roy exit the car and walk up the street to take pictures of vacant houses. Meanwhile, they watched as the man went into the store and came out within half a minute. The car didn’t have a front license plate, which provided the officers with a reason to pull them over. They searched the car—legally, a judge decided this October, almost a year later—and discovered a brick of heroin between the center console and passenger seat. One of the officers instructed Roy to get out of the car. After denying that he had any weapons on him, he consented to a pat-down to check nonetheless. In Roy’s shirt pocket, the officer found a small amount of marijuana. In his wallet, he discovered cocaine. They arrested Roy.

They charged him with unlawful possession of marijuana, a pair of seventh-degree criminal possessions of a controlled substance, and possession and intent to sell of $500-worth of heroin, a felony that could get him at least one and up to 25 years of prison November, if convicted. This time though, the judge suppressed the police’s evidence—the pot, cocaine, and heroin—because the officer illegally frisked Roy for more weapons, which he did not consent to. Roy says he wasn’t concerned about the charges.

Two weeks before the suppression, Roy sits on a loveseat, across from the fainting couch in the sitting room in his house. He wears silver full-rimmed glasses and dresses in all black. His grey hair flows in a ponytail out of his fedora. It’s getting cold outside, and he says he’s going to Florida for the winter, once the case is settled. He starts a fire in his fireplace—the first one he’s ever owned. He says he’ll never feel completely comfortable. Too much has changed. He leans back, his gut peeking out from beneath his black wife-beater, and says, “I’m never going to be back to the home they took from me.”

Photos By Nate Hopper

Album Release Date: Nov. 8, 2011

TOP TRACK: “Spacism”

BOTTOM TRACK: “Half-Light”

2.5 Nancies

Pennsylvania trio Young Statues starts its debut album bright and sprightly with “Spacism.” With adorable, almost pleading lyrics like, “I won’t be another person’s shoulder/you need somebody, call a friend,” you immediately know the band’s schtick—precious, but not too precious; longing, but not desperate. The lyrics sound introspective at first, but after 11 identically-styled songs, they quickly become tiring. The record strives for an earnest sound, but instead comes off as a group of young men hoping to bank on the previous success of sensitive indie-rock. It’s a winning formula, but it has been done before, and better.

Photos by Alyssa Greenberg

Kyle Corea, Jamil Munoz, and Danila Usov dreamed up Romura Film and Video, their production company, in Spring 2011. They’ve shot local band Sophistafunk, “Sister Sparrow & The Dirty Birds”, and construction company commercials, along with ads to sell Corea’s Subaru Legacy on Craigslist. Usov, a senior at Syracuse University, and Munoz and Corea, both SU graduates, met as film majors in SU’s School of Visual and Performing Arts. “I’m more into narrative,” Munoz says. “Kyle’s into
documentary, and Danila is stranger.” But they share a vision: to earn enough through odd projects to one day finance their own feature film.

Illustration By Daniel Blaushild

By Kathryn Pope

PETA is on the prowl.

This past September, these pelt-painting psychopaths applied for the Internet domain peta.xxx.That’s right, that triple-x suffix means just what you think—PETA’s newest project will be porn.The site, scheduled
to launch this month, will be the latest installation in PETA’s long history of sexed- up anti-meat–and-fur campaigns. PETA says that it hopes to raise awareness about veganism through a mix of pornography and graphic footage of animals suffering.

Just imagine the possibilities—PETA spokeswoman and porn legend Jenna Jameson gettin’ filthy with a few choice vegetables and some vegan whipped cream—then, bam: rabbits hanging from rusty hooks squirming and shrieking in agony, blood gushing from severed limbs while blunt knives peel off their fur and skin. If the juxtaposition weren’t so bizarre and grotesque, it might be hilarious.

Despite the collective cringes and gasps from the public, PETA is sticking with this noxious combo.The gang of sickos that comprise its advertising department must feel that pornography spiced up with a little blood and fur is the next logical step towards spreading animal love.

Assuming PETA isn’t just trying to piss people off by ruining perfectly good porn, then it’s just another promotion revolving around one maxim: sex sells.

Sex might push clothes, music, and Budweiser, but PETA takes erotic advertising to exploitive levels. While the aforementioned products have something (or everything) to do with gettin’ it on, animal rights and sex are totally incongruous. PETA makes a parody of itself and undermines its own validity by brandishing sex like a freshman girl trying to get into Chucks.

On top of that, PETA’s attempts at seduction are cheap, pathetic, and more than
a bit creepy. “When people first visit the site, it will be
very enticing, and once they go just a little bit deeper, that’s when they’ll be confronted with images that we hope will make them stop and think,” said Lindsay Rajt, PETA’s associate director of campaigns, in a September statement to Reuters. How very cunning. Show people tits, and they’ll do anything you want.

Besides using the libido as a tool for deception, PETA’s irrelevant and counterproductive use of sex compromises its legitimate goals of promoting animal rights.

In 2009, NBC prohibited a PETA commercial from airing during the Super Bowl, citing “a level of sexuality exceeding our standards.” PETA’s offensive use of graphic sex was banned fromTV, meaning their animal rights message didn’t reach millions as intended. PETA’s sex obsession has not only veered from, but undermined,
its agenda.The commercial depicted half- naked women pleasuring themselves with a pumpkin, a bunch of asparagus, broccoli, and some collard greens with the caption: “Vegetarians have better sex.”
The absurdity continues. I highly doubt PETA actually calculated this “better sex.” The equation for such a subjective experience would be insurmountable: average number of orgasms experienced in a year by random samplings of vegetarians and omnivores, divided by the total number of sexual encounters per individual, taking into account the typical age and skill of sexual partners and discounting all instances of vegan and non-vegan sexual contact, maybe. Or maybe PETA is full of shit.

Middle school boys new to masturbation beware: your ambiguous searches may lead you to something far more disturbing than the mags you tried to snag from under your older brother’s bed.

TOP TRACK: “The Vision (Let me breathe)”

BOTTOM TRACK: “The magic causeway”

2 Nancies

Often accredited with helping shape the UK’s dubstep/grime scene, Joker was expected to push the genre forward in his first full-length album The Vision.  Unfortunately, it falls short of being any music genius’s masterpiece, playing out like a recycling bin of sounds, sampling even the likes of Euro-club pop, which we’d rather just forget.  With tracks like “Tron” and “The Vision (Let Me Breathe),” Joker begins well within his electronic, soul-shaking dubstep style. It gets ugly halfway through the album, however, as he switches into the painful world of faux-epic RPG music—one where no final boss ever appears. With an anticlimactic finale of stale R&B pop tracks, listeners are left wondering what exactly was Joker’s vision.

Illustration by Brittany Slawson

By Julia Fuino

Sensing the growing sixties obsession spurred by Mad Men‘s launch in 2007, ABC jumped at the chance to lure viewers with retro outfits and beehive hair. With Pan Am premiering earlier this fall, the show fuels misplaced sixties nostalgia by presenting a dressed-up dramatization of the decade and adding a rosy hue to a period of rampant sexism.

While it’s assumed that the cookie-cutter housewife was contained to the picket fences of the 50s, women’s domestic restrictions lasted well into the next decade. In 1960, only slightly over 30 percent of women held jobs. Shows like Mad Mendon’t shy away from acknowledging to the dark side of the 60s and portraying the injustices faced by women of the decade through plotlines. Pan Am, on the other hand, downplays the sexism—hiding behind a hot flight attendant’s uniform and fake smile. Pan Am depicts stewardesses as beautiful, free spirited women who thought they had the world at their feet. But whose feet were they under?

The women of Pan Am were said to be the “new breed of women;” go-getters who wanted to see the world, rather than settling into mundane marriages like their peers.The idea sounds nice, but it hardly achieved equality. What these women perceived as “freedom” came with crippling restrictions. Not only did stewardesses have to be single, under the age of 32, and attractive, they also had to style their hair a certain way, wear a girdle, and weigh in before every flight. They may have been “seeing the world,” but in the process of catering to their customers, they conformed to stereotypical chauvinistic standards of beauty. Sounds like housewives of the sky.

Among the martinis, Jackie O-esque  hats, and steamy in-flight scenes, Pan Am highlights a brand of inequality that we’ve spent decades trying to undo. Give me a show that focuses on the second wave feminist movements of the later sixties. At 33,000 feet, these women were hardly flying high on their own prerogatives. The first step towards respecting these sexist injustices of the sixties is restraining from media glorification. Get your head out of the clouds, ABC.

Illustration by Jaycee Checo

By Lindsay Dolak

My eighth grade earth science teacher was crazy. He had a table covered in sand, rocks, and other earth science essentials that he’d douse with water, light on fire, and blow with a high-powered fan. He did all of this just to explain how the elements have shaped our world. Insane as he may have been, I only know as much about erosion as I do now because he let me splash some water on a giant sand pile in the middle of the classroom.

Experiential learning captures students’ attention far better than any 55-minute PowerPoint-based lecture can. Kinesthetic learners are those who learn best by mobility and interaction. They must physically pour in the chemicals, watch their pretend stock portfolio gain profits, and reenact the Plessey v. Fergusson debate to better understand the concepts at hand. Sure, bullet points and slides are great for an organized notebook, but hands-on experience leads to better understanding. Research has shown that students studying from a textbook can only remember half of what they read just 10 minutes after finishing the material. But, most college classes still rely on the book learning methodology.

Besides the draw of better understanding, hands-on experiential learning can lead to community connection. Syracuse in particular could benefit from more out-of-the-classroom educational opportunities. Syracuse residents generally view the university as a campus full of financially stable, stuck-up students. An almost literal barrier is created between the campus and the main city area by the I-81 overpass at the end of the Harrison street hill. This perception, though not completely false in nature, has helped bolster the divide between students and the city residents.

Practical learning programs offered by the University, however, encourage students to bust out of classrooms and off the hill, breaking down barriers between residents and students. The Soling Program, based in the College of Arts and Sciences, has the right idea. The program seeks to stimulate creative and independent thinking while fostering connections with the city. One of the classes offered under the program in Spring 2010, was SOL 345 – Puppetry and Community. Students in this course worked directly with the internationally known Open Hand Theater to explore how the formation of community is affected by art. Students paired with a fifth grade class at an inner city school to design large puppets for a pageant performed at the end of the semester. The class tied in subjects of anthropology, urban planning, comparative religion, and ethnology while allowing students to hone their problem solving, presentation, and conflict resolution skills.

Or there’s WRT 301 – Civic Writing. This class takes students off campus to interview residents of Syracuse’s seemingly seedy West Side. By talking to people about a variety of community issues, students develop the situational knowledge and rhetorical abilities needed to one day fill public roles. At the same time, the interviewees have the opportunity to feel that their voices are being heard.

This type of practical learning not only helps students gain a solidified understanding of what could be otherwise boring course work, but it breaks down some of the negative stigma between SU and the city.

So as your schedule for next semester sits in Myslice filled with traditionally formatted pass-the-fuck-out lectures, consider clicking “search” one last time. Maybe you should drop that dry sociology class, and take up something a little more real.

Photo by Ambra TieszenBy Christina Sterbenz

By Christina Sterbenz

How would you describe your style?

(laughs) I was going to ask you to do that.

It seems very European to me.

That’s what people say fairly often.The way I dress is pretty reflective of the fact that I lived in Italy for 13 years when the dollar was strong. Come to think of it, most of my stuff was made in Italy, France, or Denmark.The dress I wore for my son’s wedding comes from a young designer in East Berlin.

Sounds unique.

Oh, it’s fabulous. It’s extremely simple. It’s grey like a cloud, a friendly cloud. What’s remarkable is that the idea of the dress is weightlessness. It seems so ephemeral, and yet it’s so strong structurally.

Have you ever worked in the fashion industry?

When I was in graduate school, I worked in a friend’s dress shop on Telegraph Avenue in Berkeley called Yarmo. I worked with a great group of young women. One of them, Jacqueline West, went on to be a costume designer for the film industry. She’s been nominated twice for an Oscar, and another’s a designer for CP Shades. Then when I had to come back from Italy, where I was studying, or actually, living with my boyfriend while playing in the orchestra in Bari, I had no idea what I was going to do. I ended up getting hired at Saks Fifth Avenue as a floor model. It was really a sociological study—who was shopping there, how they reacted to me, what the others models were like.

You’ve done a lot of work concerning genocidal rape, particularly with refugees from Bosnia.

A student, who was of Bosnian and Croatian descent, originally brought what was happening to my attention. She brought me testimonies of survivors from these places. Something happened to me, and I knew I had to do everything I could to stop it. Back in the war in Bosnia in 1992, Serbian nationalist forces developed a policy of attacking civilians. They had established something like 40 places in northern Bosnia—we call them rape camps. The idea was to produce little Serb soldiers. It was a crazy policy. Nobody was writing about that here. I got a grant to translate Italian poetry in Venice where a friend of mine introduced me to the Director of the Italian Cultural Institute in Zagreb. He invited me to Zagreb, and that’s how that started. I spent a good decade working on that issue.

What was your experience like?

Let me say right off the bat that what I’m about to say is not trivial. Before I left for Zagreb, so that I could meet the survivors of these rape camps, one of the first questions I asked myself was: what shall I wear? That may sound outrageously, offensively superficial, but it isn’t. The reason is I had been to Zagreb before. I knew its formality and its beauty. In the end, the success of my work really depended on how I got along with the professional women who had come out of Sarajevo. It’s very important to show respect and understand where you are.

photo credit: www2.tbo.com

Sunday, November 27 While students were coming back from break, Syracuse University declared Bernie Fine would not be returning and fired him due to the sexual abuse scandal. Remember SU, stay true to your school. One man does not make represent the entire school.

The women who peppersprayed her way through 20 other shoppers on Black Friday surrendered to authorities. She also did not recieve the X-Box she wanted.

Monday, November 28 She might have tricked us at first but the cat is out of the bag. Miley Cyrus called herself a stoner at her birthday party referring to her Bob Marley cake. Guess this is another secret identity we did not know about.

Congress passed a law stating that pizza is a vegetable. Does that make it 0 points in Weight Watchers?

photo credit: news.cheapflights.com

Tuesday, November 29 American Airlines’s parent company filed for bankruptcy due to high fuel prices and expensive labor contracts that were created years in the past. Without American Airlines we might as well call the Syracuse Airport the Delta Airport.

Because Americans seem to always think bigger is better, Sony and Hitachi are working on 4 inch touch screens for the iPhone 5scheduled to arrive in 2012.

Wednesday, November 30 It is only appropriate to announce celebrity pregnancy news on Hump Day. Beyonce announced her baby will be here by Christmas. A little Sasha Fierce is the best gift this holiday season.

In other baby news, Kourtney Kardashian announced she was pregnant. Kourtney, your family had its time in the spotlight.

photo credit: http://2.bp.blogspot.com

Thursday, December 1 Due to the ban on toys in kid’s meals in San Francisco, Burger King has decided to charge for the extra treat in each meal. For those of us that still order kids meals, this sucks.

The Grammy nominees were announced. Take a look but we are not shocked that our girl Adele is listed a couple times.

It was a match made in heaven: Syracuse and the Big East Conference. The tradition and mutual passion for basketball made the two almost inseparable. But after a 32- year marriage, the Orange is divorcing the Big East for a wealthier partner that has an infinity for football: the ACC.

Syracuse leaves behind bloodbaths with Georgetown that once ruled the hardwood. Thrilling games against UConn at the Garden will become mere memories. Goodbye Villanova, with which our rivalry created a record breaking attendance and an electric atmosphere this city rarely sees.

But hello and welcome to the ACC,

where all come to rake in the Benjamins, baby, and boost their football programs. It can’t be that bad, right?

Instead of competing against the Keystone Lights of college football— Rutgers, South Florida, and Cincinnati— SU can now kick back and enjoy Stella Artois each week, playing the likes of Florida State, Miami, and Virginia Tech.

Sure, we’ll miss the short road trips for away games and the heated regional rivalries. But traveling down South in the heart of winter and seeing scantily-clad fans get sloppy before gametime sounds pretty damn good.

Think back to the last time you used a search engine other than Google. It was probably in the late 90s, when AOL was your dial-up service provider, you constantly asked Jeeves, and every time Aunt Cathy called, you were instantly knocked off-line.

Nostalgia aside, we must acknowledge these former staples of Internet glory. What began as a mere search engine has now far surpassed its original intent. Google has managed to transcend grammatical constraints and find a place into our vocabularies as a verb, since we can now, “Google that shit.” Satellites like Gmail and Google Maps have skyrocketed the brand, and as of June 2011, the average amount of visitors on Google-based sites averaged 1 billion per month total.

But after a decade of living the sweet life, Google may be stretching itself too thinly. By trying to do everything, the company has started to create subpar products.Take, for instance, Google’s response to our recent social media infatuation: Google+. A distant cousin of Facebook, Google+ has over 43 million current users, but its success seemed to stop after initial interest passed. Many find the company’s attempt at a cleaner, simpler Twitter/Facebook hybrid lackluster and not worth the effort of adding yet another profile to check.

While Google’s dominance is clear on the large-scale, it’s in the smaller ventures that the company seems to falter. We can see it in its newest venture: e-books. Google has paired the recent undertakings with the iriver Sony HD, a black-and-white e-reader, sans touch screen. Sorry Google, but if you’re not in color, you’re out of business. And Google’s geek-friendly Android software always seems to run on phones or tablets that only mimic their iSuperior.

Clearly not the renaissance company it hoped to be, Google should stick to what it knows.The tech giant excels in website and software development and should fully harness this niche as its strength.The Google apps for iPhone and iPad are among the best on the market and function spectacularly on the hardware. Improving already outstanding products will strengthen the brand more effectively than apparent attempts at world domination, one industry at a time. Google, stop producing inferior products out of a ceaseless desire to innovate, and get your head back in the search bar.

Illustration by Sabrina Har-Dof

Illustration by Cameron Morgan

By Olivia St. Denis

The saying goes, “Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” Marine biologists who in 2006 predicted that every fish and seafood species in the oceans could become extinct by 2048 would probably offer a different proverb. Something along the lines of, “Stop teaching men to fish, goddamnit.”

Industrialized fishing practices and the human hankering for bluefin tuna, cod, swordfish, and marlin have plunged these once-plentiful breeds into deeply endangered waters. So deep that some populations have taken a 90-percent dive in numbers over a 60-year span. The ecological and economic consequences of a fish-less world may have a ripple effect that could soon turn into a tidal wave.

Here’s the catch: The world’s commercial fishing industries are beating Mother Nature at her own game. Fish survival is impossible when today’s fishing technology is fitter.  Commercial ships with sonar equipment can detect schools that were once protected by unreachable depths and cavernous crevices.

The global fishing industry regulates the number of boats in the water but not the amount or species of fish caught, so ships have adapted by casting more hooks, lines, and nets. Today, fleets are two to three times more bloated to keep up with the world’s seafood demand.

The serious ecological catastrophe begins when top predators like flounder, tuna, and cod start disappearing. Eliminating species at the top catapults a cycle of extinction into high gear. Think about it: all the preditors that depend on these bigger fish breeds will eat the next largest species until it too is inevitably forced out of existence. The cycle will continue all the way down the fishy food chain, until the ecologic stability of our oceans collapse in a matter of generations.

A 2009 article by marine ecologist Daniel Pauly in The New Republic claims that, “Eating a tuna roll at a sushi restaurant should be considered no more environmentally benign than driving a Hummer or harpooning a manatee.” In fact, some scientists predict jellyfish will replace tuna on restaurant menus within the next 30 years. After that, we’ll be making casseroles out of those dinosaur-looking freaks with glow sticks under their scales.

Along with climate change and oil dependence, add overfishing to the list of issues we won’t do anything about until it’s too late.  Global governments are either just now starting to mitigate fishery exploits or haven’t yet begun the process.  But instead of just resigning yourself to a fishless future, at least try to do your part:  next time you go to Bleu Monkey, order a spring roll.

Photo by Taylor Miller

A gaggle of schoolchildren and adults flood the Red House Café’s hardwood floors during a break from rehearsing The Wiz in the neighboring theater. They sit on vibrant red chairs while clutching sheet music and annotated scripts. Laughs and chatter drown out Guster’s “Careful,” which hums from the speakers above.

Pleasant interruptions like this are normal at the café, which opened in early November as an expansion of the Red House Theater and Gallery. During gallery hours and production nights at the theater, the café links all of Red House’s artistic offerings. Patrons can get caught behind the scenes of plays, or they can admire the gallery art adorning the café’s interior. Posters for The Wiz and other upcoming acts decorate the wood-paneled walls, and empty frames hang about a foot in front of them.

The space itself is practically a theater. The long, narrow room resembles a makeshift runway, with mustard-yellow wood tables lining the walls.  The Red House moved their long-standing comedy improv classes and drag shows from the stage into the café to increase the intimacy between the audience and performers. “It’s a level that can’t be reached with the barrier of an actual stage,” says Sasha Batrosky, the Red House’s Director of Audience Outreach.

With plenty of seating and tables throughout, the Red House Café also plays the part of a community center, offering various social activities like pumpkin-carving, mosaic-crafting, and film-making lessons from the Red House’s staff. Batrosky says “study hall” nights, with endless cups of coffee, might soon become a café fixture.

The café specializes in crepes, offering a myriad of both sweet and savory choices like turkey, cheese, or mixed berries. Batrosky says the café will tie into the Red House Theater’s latest productions with themed menu items, wines, and decorations. They celebrated their last show, Batboy: The Musical, with spider-webs, pumpkins, and bright orange lights. She says, “You should feel like you’re involved in the excitement and the feeling of the play when you walk in.”

4 Chancy’s

TOP TRACK: “DROWNING PIGS”

BOTTOM TRACK: “TORCHLIGHTS BANNED”

Fuck Death, another release from Carey Mercer’s solo project Blackout Beach, takes the listener on a voyage that walks the line of mortality.The debut single, “Beautiful Burning Desire,” begins with a vivid sound collage before dying down into a choir of ghostly moans. Likewise, the album’s most ambitious track, “Drowning Pigs,” desper- ately clings to life, beginning in ominous silence aside from one simple, rhythmic pulse that echoes the human heart. The track builds power, but ultimately fades into darkness—a common motif for the record. Holistically, it’s little wonder Mercer recorded the album on his own, because it’s doubtful anyone else could have actualized such an eerie musical vision.

photo credit: thewellversed.com

If you’re an offender of any of these dealbreakers, you might as well walk yourself home right now because newsflash: YOU’RE NOT GETTING ANY.

Halitosis

For those who are unfamiliar with this formal medical term, I’m talking about bad breath. There are few things more repulsive than inhaling a putrid concoction of your pre-party black bean burrito bowl, Natty Light, and cigarette smoke. Honestly, if you’re looking for some action, try popping a Tic Tac (or six) before attempting to shove your rancid tongue down anyone’s throat. Puhhlease. I’d rather make out with a rabid cat. I don’t care if your name is Ryan Gosling (well… that may be the ONE exception)—if your mouth has an odor and it ain’t minty fresh, you can back your ass out of my vicinity.

Excessive Facial Hair

There is a distinct line between sexy scruff and full-out caveman status. Don’t cross it. Very few, if any, men can successfully pull off a goatee, chin strap, or (cringe) soul patch. Actually, no one can really pull off a soul patch. Look, I know you and your bros are all excited about No Shave November, but if your face is covered in layers of prickly fur, you might as well call it No Sex November.

While we’re on the topic of unsightly hair: make sure to keep your nether regions neatly trimmed. As I’ve previously noted, failure to maintain a consistent manscaping routine is a major turn off.

Incompetent Kisser

It should be a no-brainer by now: Learn the proper kissing technique! If your idea of a hot make out sesh involves a Tornado Tongue or licking the entire lower half of my face, you need to stop and reevaluate your life choices. This is not a game of Seven
Minutes in Heaven at your crush’s 6^th grade birthday party—at this point, it’s expected that you have some sense of what you’re doing. There is an art to this skill. If you haven’t mastered the basics of first base, we can only assume that your skills in the sack are sub-par at best.

B.O.

Along with bad breath, strange body odor ranks close to the top of the Gag Me list. Yes, it may be crowded and hot at those parties, but that’s no excuse for poor hygiene. Swipe on a few extra coats of deodorant, stash some Febreze in your pocket—do what you need to do, but just make sure you don’t reek of Eau De Sweat. In my book, men who exude a sexy, subtle aroma have already raised their panty-dropping potential by 25 percent. To the remaining malodorous masses: Smell ya later!

Wearing Ed Hardy in a Non-Ironic Context

BYE.

photo credit: blogs.babble.com

By Victoria Troxler

When I was in fourth grade, I begged and pleaded for a new basketball hoop. Don’t judge, I was a tom-boy. Fortunately Santa came through and delivered it on Christmas morning. I fucking loved Santa.

The next week at school my childhood changed forever. I bragged to my very best friend, who happens to be my neighbor, about my basketball hoop, it went a little like this:

Me: “Guess what Santa brought me for Christmas? A basketball hoop!”

My Jewish Friend: “Santa didn’t give that to you, I saw your dad drive up to your house with it last week.”

Even though I was devastated to learn that my dad had been lying to me for my entire life, I didn’t really care. What I cared about was that I got the present. So the moral of Christmas was clear to me: it’s all about the presents.

Though this truth is awful and probably offensive to the uber religious, it is nonetheless a truth. However, gift giving is rather hard these days. You never know whom you should get one for and what. Follow my Dos and Don’ts and you’ll be in the clear.

DON’T buy presents for “kind of” good friends and expect a present back. Most likely they won’t get you one. If you absolutely have an urge to spread some holiday joy, send them a text or a card at most.

DO get your parents a gift. Now that you have your own money, you should definitely get your rents a gift. It doesn’t need to be expensive, but why not repay them for pretending to be Santa for all these years?

DON’T give a gift you wouldn’t want to receive. If you plan on gifting something shitty, expect your friends not to like it. You sure as hell wouldn’t want that POS.

DO send thank you cards.  Even if the card is just a sentence or two, it will be much appreciated. Reach out to those who reached out to you and let them know you’re thankful. It will also get you another present next year.

photo credit: glamour.com

Thanksgiving brought out a time to reflect on what we have and are grateful for. This included even the simplest aspects of our lives, such as being single. Whether or not you’re “ridin’ solo” by choice, take this time to look back on the privileges you have that those with a label do not. Read on to understand exactly why you’re rocking the best relationship status.

You don’t need to “check in” with anyone. Being in a relationship is like having a GPS surgically attached to you. Your significant other demands to know where you are at all times. Single folks don’t need to constantly clutch their cell phones in their palms, awaiting a vibration at 2-minute intervals, constantly making eye contact with the screen, rather than friends. Slip the phone into your pocket and enjoy the party.

You can flirt shamelessly. Flirting goes a long way in the art of getting what you want. Whether it’s to work yourself into a party, a free drink, or a classmate’s notes, single people can do so without restraint. Feel free to bat your eyelashes or show off those hard-earned muscles, guilt-free.

You can do what you want, when you want. Have you ever told a boyfriend or girlfriend some idea or plan of yours and have them chuckle and critically respond with, “Really?” Do what you want without seeking permission and receiving judgment from anyone.

You don’t have constant paranoia. No need for, “Is this dress slutty?” or “Am I allowed to text other guys?” You won’t be looking over your shoulder to make sure your possessive girlfriend doesn’t see you walking to class with a friend. Without the paranoia of wondering how your actions may appear, you can relax and just live.

You don’t have to buy holiday gifts. Oh, those commercial holidays. Save the money you would spend on an overpriced Christmas, Valentine’s Day, or birthday gift for a significant other and buy yourself something nice.

Single people won’t “let ourselves go.” Often times people in relationships grow so comfortable with one another that they no longer feel the need to present themselves as kindly to the world. That brings less gym, protein, and dresses, and more couch, cake, and sweatpants. The single crowd, however, knows a potential hook-up could be passing by at any moment and will always look their best.

Just like Jason DeRulo, bet you “never knew single could feel this good,” huh?

photo credit: wikikitchen.net

By Allison Joy

So here is the situation: Thanksgiving is over, but you’ve still got a refrigerator full of Turkey Day leftovers. Well, everything’s better between two slices of bread, so make a delicious Thanksgiving Sandwich and your fridge will be able to breathe again! Turkey, stuffing, and cranberry sauce combine to make a delectable leftover treat. Pair it with a refreshing Crantini and eat up!

Thanksgiving Sandwich

¼ – ½ pound turkey breast

1 cup stuffing (See recipe below, or use leftover)

¼ cup cranberry sauce (whole or smooth)

Mayonnaise

Lettuce

Whole grain wheat bread

1. Toast whole grain wheat bread and spread with mayonnaise

2. Add turkey breast, stuffing, cranberry sauce and lettuce, then slice in half.

photo credit: lostragos.com

Crantini

3 oz. vodka

5 oz. cranberry juice

Splash of triple sec

Lime

1. Combine vodka, cranberry juice and triple sec.

2. Squeeze lime into mixture and use as a garnish

photo credit: sprinklesofparsley.com

Sausage Apple Stuffing

½ cup cubed wheat bread

1 cup cubed white bread

5 oz. ground turkey sausage

¼ cup chopped onions

3 tbsp chopped celery

¾ tsp sage

½ tsp rosemary

1/3 tsp thyme

¼ Golden Delicious apple, cored and chopped

3 tbsp dried cranberries

1 tbs fresh parsley

3 tbsp turkey or chicken stock

1 ½ tsp melted butter

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spread the bread cubes onto a baking sheet and bake until evenly toasted (5-7 minutes). Place in a large bowl.

2. Cook the sausage and onions in a large skillet over medium heat until evenly browned. Add celery, sage, rosemary and thyme and cook for several more minutes.

3. Pour skillet mixture over the bread. Mix in the remaining ingredients and stir.

4. Bake in the oven for 30 minutes or until lightly browned. (Serves 3)

Enjoy!

photo caption: popherald.com

By Drew Muller

There’s no question that Apple is at the apex of the technology hierarchy. But with Siri, its new voice control application whose name sounds like an Eastern European figure skater, there’s a large possibility that the company could pull further away from the pack and tauntingly figure-eight around any competition. The new iPhone 4s, though strikingly similar to its predecessor, has Siri—and that’s enough to make people throw their money at Apple, or at least gobble up stock shares.

It seems to me that this is just the latest case of the Apple mystique, but, of course, I can’t act like I’m completely immune. Perhaps it’s the fact that I’m perpetually surrounded by an orchard of Apple products, or that Siri provides a constant companion so it looks like I’m holding a conversation while sitting alone in the dining hall. It’s probably a combination of both that has left me itching for an iPhone, but I would venture to guess that there’s a more important underlying factor that leads to the consumption of Apple products.

Apple was the first company to introduce highly functional voice response technology to its mobile devices, right? Wrong.

Although Apple would certainly want you to think so, Siri is not the first of her kind. It just so happens that Microsoft, the pouting, PMS-ing younger sibling to Apple’s varsity cheerleader, introduced voice control software called TellMe, which is comparable to Siri, over a year ago on its Windows Phone 7. In a recent interview with Forbes Magazine, Craig Mundie, Chief Research and Strategy Officer for Microsoft, sounded detectably annoyed when the public acclaim to Siri was brought up. But who could blame him?

Apple introduced Siri to the public only two weeks before the device hit stores, and buyers instantly knew about the new feature, many saying that it was one of the main reasons why they decided to purchase the 4s. This reveals the marketing brilliance of Apple, the ineptitude of Microsoft in the same area, and the importance of connecting with consumers. Smart marketing has been a major key in Apple’s success and a major struggle for Microsoft as it tries to make its top-notch software appealing to the masses.

Apple knows exactly how to market its products, and has perfected the process with intriguing presentations (see Steve Jobs introducing the first iPhone) and eye-catching commercials. Masterful marketing has linked the company with innovation, a concept that will keep buyers chomping at the bit to get their hands on whatever Apple releases.

Siri vs. Tellme is a perfect example of the significance of effective marketing—Apple was able to get the word out about its new product immediately, while Microsoft still has to remind people that it’s done something similar.

photo credit: exposay.com

Sunday, November 13| Most professors do not encourage nibbling in the classroom but one Sacramento State psych professor feels the opposite. After his “Snack Patrol” forgot to bring goodies to class he walked out and refused to teach class. Next time,  remember the trail mix kids.

At the age of 75, Evelyn Lauder, the co-creator of the pink ribbon Breast Cancer Awareness campaign, died due to complications regarding her ovarian cancer. A campaign that started in department cosmetic stores, the pink ribbon will stand strong due to Lauder’s contributions.

Monday, November 14| Brad Pitt announced plans to end his acting career in three years, to focus on producing and spend more time procreating and with his family. Maybe Jolie and Pitt will have a baby of their own instead of trying to finish off their collecting frenzy.

Just in case you have been living under a rock and did not believe Kanye West was a control freak, Jay-Z confirmed the fact. No Jay-Z we did not forget the Taylor Swift incident or any other interaction of West in the past couple of years.

photo credit: popcrush.com

Tuesday, November 15| Wegman’s covered the Adele issue of Cosmo this month but it was not because they are not a fan of the artist, just her cleavage. Apparently Wegman’s tries to stay family friendly.

If you have been receiving huge cock spam on your Facebook feed, the company announced they are investigating the problem. It’s up to you if you consider this a blessing or a curse.

Wednesday, November 16| The People have spoken. Bradley Cooper was named the sexiest man alive. Not only is he a sight to sore eyes but he can also cook and speak French. Hot damn.

Still battling with the popular brand, The Situation filled a lawsuit against Abercrombie and Fitch over shirts that say “The Fitchuation” and “GTL… You Know the Deal.” The biggest news to us: the Jersey Shore star trademarked his name and GTL.

photo credit: sports.espn.go.com

Thursday, November 17| The university placed Syracuse Assistant Head Coach Bernie Fine on administrative leave late Thursday after rumors stated he sexually abused a ball boy. Cuse, this might seem all to similar to the Penn State incident but remember one bad orange does not ruin the bunch.

Oregon became the first state to bring Ipads instead of ballets to the homes of disabled voters. While it is a step forward in technology we are not too sure why a six pound tablet seemed like an easier option than a sheet of paper.

photo credit: casanovanotes.com

By Lindsay Dolak

If you are even somewhat attractive and even if you’re not, as long as you have boobs, chances are high that you’ve probably been hit on at a party. It happens…often, and, if it’s happened to you enough, the opening lines used become all too familiar. And I’m not talking about the classic “Hey, baby, are you tired? Because you’ve been running through my mind all day.” I’m talking about the subtle, seemingly innocent inquiries guys use to open up a dialogue and grab the attention of dazed and confused girls dancing around everywhere. It’s a system: a how-can-I-get-this-girl-up-into-my-bedroom system.

Proud to be the one to turn him from his former slutty ways, I collaborated with my frat guy boyfriend to find out the most commonly used conniving conversation starters and what they really mean.

“Hey, want to go take more shots in my room?”

The obvious approach. Any girl who has fallen for this one was either that drunk or a freshman. Come on, girls, not only is this guy trying to further intoxicate you, but he’s not wasting any time getting you into his bedroom. I get it, you think it’s wrong to pass up free alcohol, but there’s free beer, your friends and a much lower possibility of contracting any diseases waiting for you downstairs.

“So, where are you from?” or “What’s your major?”

Feigning interest, dare I say a “classier” approach? This guy’s going to ask you pretty much anything from your academic interests to your dog’s name and agree with you on everything in between. Don’t be fooled. He doesn’t actually support your political views and he doesn’t really have a friend who went to some college around your area code. What he really wants to be asking you is how you want it and if it’s absolutely necessary that he wear a condom, but that would be forward and this guy clearly knows how to engage a lady correctly.

“You know, I’m president of this house.”

Bitches love a man in power, right? First of all, this guy’s probably not the president of whichever frat house you’ve chosen as your Saturday night poison. Guarantee if you just nod your head and wait a little bit for the next guy to come around the corner, he will be the president as well. Apparently the frats are really pushing leadership these days. Anyway, unless you are partying in the White House, who cares? The small amount of social status uplift associated with becoming house president should not be enough to convince you to romp around his “oval office.” Even Monica Lewinsky’s reputation took a hit and she got it with an actual president.

The guy who just comes up behind you and starts dancing.

Wow, that was ambitious. Don’t give him any brownie points for his aggressive approach. Instead walk away. I can 100% guarantee that if you walk five feet away and glance back briefly, he will already be dancing with another girl who is much more slutty and drunk. I wouldn’t take it personally; he doesn’t even know how to start a conversation. I’d take “what’s your major?” guy over this loser any day.

photo credit: attractyoursoulmatenow.com

Being single often creates more stress than final exams, lost keys, or even Facebook withdrawal. But why does it make people so uneasy?

In my opinion, flying solo often means two things: nothing or everything.

I can do NOTHING

Shy singles often think “no relationship = no real social life.” So what’s the point in going out and having a great time? They don’t have anyone special, so not much fun can be had. Life is an iPod without any headphones.

They feel they can’t make the most of life without a meaningful relationship, as I used to personally believe. While they’re not antisocial, they lose the will to go out and enjoy themselves. Not the best for happiness or your self-esteem.

I must do EVERYTHING

More outgoing and extroverted singles may feel the opposite. They’re free agents; they have buckets of freedom! Party hard and hook up harder. Not being exclusive means having options that CANNOT be wasted. Life is like a buffet and these individuals need to taste everything there.

These singles fear that unless they’re living on the edge, they aren’t living like they should. This allows them to go out and experience life, which is good. But the drawback is they ALWAYS feel this way. During their homework or alone time, this yearning to go crazy is a major distraction. Not the best for school, productivity, or his or her health.

Being caught up in these two extremes overwhelms many singles. Do I stay in? Go out? Hook up? Be casual? Do some work? Look at porn? It’s the dizzying amount of freedom that creates a single’s anxiety.

The solution: Stop putting so much pressure on yourself. These are just a few of the several million moments in your life and they’re not the most important. So relax, just look for something you’ll enjoy, and stick with it.

After all, something is the middle ground between nothing and everything.

photo credit: http://truthserumblog.iamapeacekeeper.com

By Victoria Troxler

In my household, Turkey Day is one of the best days of the year. Dad pops some bottles in the a.m., and my sister and mom start cooking. I help here or there, but cooking really isn’t my thing. I’m actually an incredibly talented eater. We avoid all of the smoozing of big family holidays and stick to a small crowd. Grandpa usually rolls up from Palm Springs, accompanied by whoever else wants to stop by. We make chicken instead of turkey (it tastes way better and you know it), and we are all sufficiently drunk by the time dinner comes around. It’s really fratty.

Some of your families might verge on the more traditional side, and thus, Thanksgiving might be your own personal hell. You know—prayers, being thankful, and all that other family stuff. If this sounds more like your holiday, then I am terribly sorry. But remember: Thanksgiving is only one day out of the year. Here are five do’s that will make your holiday way better.

DO: Sneak a drink. If drinking is an issue with your parents—again, I am sorry—sneak a few beers or glasses of wine. With a little social lubricant you’ll be able to deal with the aunts and uncles who haven’t seen you since last year. Remember: don’t get shit faced and always chew some gum.

DO: Sit near the weird uncle. Boredom is the killer on Turkey Day. Once you’ve knocked back a few take a seat beside the token weird uncle. He’ll keep the buzz going with his bizarre and laughable stories. God forbid you have a kiddy table and still get banished, then you’re shit out of luck.

DO: Be helpful. Washing dishes or setting the table will go a long way. Your relatives will be thankful and your parents will be proud. All this appreciation is great and all, but what does it do for you exactly? Better presents at Christmas time.

DO: Work. If you absolutely can’t escape with some alcohol, use homework as an excuse. Tell your parents you have a pressing project that you’ve been working on all break. Next, sneak upstairs and watch some TV. Make an occasional appearance to say hi and tell them how the “project” is going. It’s a classic and will save you from socializing.

DO: Suggest holiday movies. Once Thanksgiving roles around, holiday movies are totally acceptable. Suggest a post dinner movie and you’ll finally get some silence when everyone passes out in their food-coma. My personal favorite: Elf.

Course Selection Spring 2012 from Alison Joy on Vimeo.

Jerk gives advice on shopping for electives just in time for registration season.

photo credit: techland.time.com

By Drew Muller

Like a strung out drug addict desperately seeking his or her fix, Disney is hopelessly hooked on being ‘hip.’ Faced with the constant threat of its target audience growing up and becoming interested in content of actual substance, Disney continually combats this maturation with advancement of its own. The princesses and fairytales have been supplanted with teen pop stars and laugh-track sitcoms that boast blatantly multi-cultural casts. Disney understands what its audience wants. This has been a main reason why it has been able to easily traverse the changing media landscape and remain an industry titan. But the company also understands things have changed, and a deal with YouTube displays its no-shame attitude toward recapturing viewers and bridging the age gap.

The deal, which was publicly announced last Monday, partners Disney Interactive Media and YouTube, and $10 to $15 million will be spent on original video series to be produced by Disney. They will be distributed on a co-branded channel appearing on both Dinsey.com and YouTube. In essence, this is the beginning of what could be Donald Duck meets David After Dentist and Nemo meets the Numa Numa guy. This is the viral meeting the virtues Disney has tried to impress upon our pliable young minds, all the while being covertly sexual. This is the Magic Kingdom meeting the untamed streets of user-powered content.

Alright, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. For now, there won’t be a full-scale integration between the two media producers. We won’t be seeing Tinkerbell fluttering around the YouTube home page, but this strategic symbiosis speaks volumes about entities trying to transcend the barrier to certain consumer groups. It’s simple—Disney standing alone is having trouble pulling kids to its website, and it’s safe to say that YouTube is the ‘cool’ place to watch online videos. At the same time, YouTube will gladly welcome younger viewers comforted by Disney’s presence and the opportunity to placate parents who are not too fond of their children being able to freely access a slew of racy videos.

Disney will produce the Web series and plans to have eight series in production at any given time. The first, which is based on its puzzle app “Where’s My Water?” features an alligator named Swampy, arguably the hippest character in the history of hip. Video from the Disney TV channel and selected amateur video will appear on the YouTube channel as well.

YouTube is still considered the ‘cool’ place to watch and share videos, but with an inundation of dorky and clearly child-targeted content (see Swampy) we could witness the emergence of a deviant competitor site. If it provided all of the functions of YouTube sans the fairy dust, Disney and YouTube could have quite the problem on their hands.

photo credit: mccormick.com

By Allison Joy

This week, break out the ground beef and cook up a simple, yet delicious, chili. It’s super easy, full of flavor, and stores well for those drunken fridge raids at 3 a.m. (because, let’s face it, Ramen just gets old after a while.) Pair it with a Paloma Cocktail—a classic Mexican favorite—made with citrus soda and tequila and you’ll be good to go.

Beef Chili (serves 4)

1 pound ground beef
¼ onion, chopped
½ tsp ground black pepper
¼ tsp garlic salt
1 ¼ cup canned stewed tomatoes
½ (8 oz) jar salsa
2 tbsp chili seasoning
½ (15 oz.) can light red kidney beans
½ (15 oz. ) can dark red kidney beans
½ (15 oz.) can chickpeas
1 cup beer

1. In a saucepan over medium heat, combine ground beef and onions and sautée until meat is browned and onions are tender. Drain grease.

2. Add pepper, garlic salt, tomatoes, salsa, chili seasoning, kidney beans, chickpeas and beer. Mix well, reduce heat to low, and let simmer for an hour.

Paloma Cocktail

2 oz tequila
6 oz grapefruit or citrus soda
½ oz lime juice
Salt

1. Rim a glass with salt

2. Fill the glass with ice and add tequila and lime juice

3. Top it off with soda

Enjoy!

All recipes adapted from allrecipes.com

Gawk Fashion: Scholarship in Action (Behind the Scenes) from Jason Rostkowski on Vimeo.

Behind the Scenes of the Gawk Fashion: Scholarship in Action video shoot for Jerk Magazine’s November 2011 issue.

Music: Jay-Z x Kanye West “Otis”

photo credit: joyannaadams.wordpress.com

Sunday, November 6| A cleaning lady at the Ostwall museum in Berlin was fired for doing her job too well. After finding a puddle of paint on the ground and scrubbing it till it was gone did she realize that a million-dollar work of art was ruined.

Not only did all the people from Oklahoma to Wisconsin feel the 5.6 earthquake but so did all the birds and bugs. So many birds and insects took flight at the time of the earthquake that the radar picked up on it. Luckily, no birds or bugs (or humans) were hurt in the process.

Monday, November 7| Did you just finish your last box of Thin Mints? No worries, the Girl Scouts of America have your back. Now at Claire’s and Walmart you can buy individual or packaged lip balm that are scented like the famous cookies. All your favorite flavors without the calories.

Five thousand people gathered around the White House to protest the Keystone XL Pipeline. Good thing they did because Obama punted the project out of the water later in the week.

photo credit: inquisitr.com

Tuesday, November 8| Rumor has it that Adele has finally under gone throat surgery after canceling tour dates this summer. We wish her a fast and easy recovery.

In other music industry news, Dr. Conrad Murray was found guilty of involuntary man slaughter almost two and a half years after Michael Jackson’s death. Four years in prison and a chance of loosing his license will never be enough justice for the King of Pop.

Wednesday, November 9| Shakira was given the 2,454th star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Honored as the first Columbian woman to receive a star, the Shewolf dedicated it to the Latin community.

If you need a reason for a toast this weekend consider drinking to the fact that the astroid traveling in orbit at 30,000 mph passed and did not touch the Earth. The next time we will see it is in 2029.

photo credit: http://www.businessinsider.com

Thursday, November 10| Riots at Penn State due to the football team scandal and the firing of coach Joe Paterno caused school officials to order students, through Facebook naturally, to evacuate downtown State College.

To end on a semi-positive note, Madonna’s new song was leaked to the Internet. While the singer was upset that the song was released, she was happy that people enjoyed it. Seems planned to us.

Joe and Sakia met eight-and-a-half years ago in a church on Syracuse’s South Side. She says, “If I had known about his past, I would’ve never gotten with him.” Now people know Joe as Minista Whisper, an ordained, rapping minister who hosts open mics at local churches, called Fired Up Fridays. Before, most recognized him as G.I., a dealer from New York City who entered the drug game at age 11. He grins. “Only God can decide who is bad,” he says, softly.

Joe grew up in Jamaica, Queens, New York City. As a kid, he couldn’t afford what his peers owned; “Shoes with holes in them—that’s what I got,” he remembers. And when his mother lost one of her lungs, life became even more strained. She was left with chronic asthma and hospital visits five days a week. He used to wake up every night hearing her gasp for air. Many times, he’d jump off his bed, quickly assemble her asthma machine, and call an ambulance. With his mother burdened with illness, Joe chose to take care of himself. His cousins and uncles were part of one of the biggest drug teams in Queens, Joe says. At 11 years old, they recruited him for his age to carry 100 grams of cocaine in his pockets for $50 a night. With the money he made, he bought a couple pairs of sneakers every month.

Joe became more active in the drug game once he started his first year at Andrew Jackson High School, a school where, in 1970, two decades before Joe enrolled, police broke up a heroin-processing factory in the school’s basement. He continued his studies and never considered dropping out. But after not even a month, two ounces of cocaine hooked Joe into a possession and intent to sell charge, which sent him to Lincoln Hall Juvenile Detention Facility. He stayed there for a year and a half. After his release, he went back to Andrew Jackson—back to hustling. After 11th grade, he dropped out and put time into the streets during school hours. At 18, he bought his first car, an ’82 Mustang. But the deeper he got into the drug game, the more killings he witnessed. Between the ages of 16 and 19, he watched eight of his friends get shot and killed.

Joe maintains that he wasn’t too violent himself, just a hustler. But that didn’t change the nature of the game. “I was really concerned, and it was hard to stop him,” his mother Lillian says. “I was going back and forth to the hospital.” When his house was shot up for a second time with his family still inside, he illegally bought three guns to protect them. “You were never guaranteed to live if you were in Jamaica, whether you were in the drug game or not,” he explains.

When Joe was 19, his older brother was shot at outside of their house. Then a gunshot blasted his friend’s head. That’s when he decided to leave. In 1994, he moved to Syracuse, intending to change. He became a sales associate at Ames—what he describes as a defunct version of Kmart—but the money wasn’t enough. So he went around the Eastwood area of Syracuse (known around town as “Egypt”), where he saw men playing dice on the street, hanging around. “Someone had to be selling something,” he says.

Later that year, Joe and his friend were chatting and smoking weed in Joe’s apartment when two men wearing masks ran inside, guns drawn. One whipped Joe with a gun on the right crown of his head, then in his abdomen. He dropped to the floor. As they dragged him into his living room, his friend tried to run across the apartment. But one of the robbers hurled a crowbar and hit him; his friend collapsed. The thief then picked up the crowbar and smashed him in the back with it until he lay there in a pool of his own blood. On the couch sat Joe’s 2-year-old daughter, Staraysa, watching.

The robbers stopped beating his friend and pulled Joe outside. “We know you got guns in here,” one said. “We know you got drugs. Where everything at?” They had him on the ground; one put a gun to his head, while the other sat on the arm of a chair, gun in hand, staring at him. Joe explained where everything was. But the one who stood over him swung the crowbar and smashed his finger into pieces; years later, it hangs like a worm wrought with rigor mortis. “Just don’t touch my daughter,” he said to them. The two took a pound of weed and around $500, and left.

Joe, a 5-foot-5 slim man, covered in blood, picked his daughter up and his 5-foot-9 unconscious friend and ran upstairs to his neighbor’s apartment. His neighbor screamed when she saw their blood-drenched bodies. “She grabbed my daughter, then I just dropped on the floor,” he remembers. She called the police and Joe went to the hospital. “I don’t want to remember the day, but he tells me about it,” says Staraysa, now 18. Whenever she braids his hair she takes care not to put pressure on the soft spot of his head, where the robber smashed his gun.

The police fixated on convicting Joe rather than finding the two men who’d nearly killed him and his friend. His family and friends told him the police were showing his picture around town; “He’s a big-time dealer from New York City,” people said the police told them.

Joe enrolled in a two-week program for a home health aide degree at the Norrell Health Care Center. “I was trying to break out of the habit, but I was still hustling,” he says. He passed the exams but couldn’t obtain his degree because the New York City Police Department never extradited him for violation of probation five years ago. He planned to go back to the city to clear his warrant. And in the meantime, he wanted to keep his hands clean. “I told myself that I would stay in the house,” he laughs. “That way I wouldn’t get in trouble.”

But one night his friends invited him over for booze and weed to celebrate his plans to get an honest job. Twisted, he and his friends decided to rob three drug houses at gunpoint. As they went through the third house, a dozen police arrived outside. He tried to escape; “I was so drunk and high, I painted this big picture that I could try to jump over the fence, but I couldn’t,” he says. When the police arrested him, they cheered, “We finally got him!”

In court, the judge sentenced him to eight-and-a-half to 15 years. It was September 1999. Three months later, his daughter, Ariel, arrived. Ariel’s birth became an epiphany for Joe. He began seeking divine guidance. “God, I can’t do this, I got kids out here to feed,” he remembers praying. He heard God audibly demanding he tell the truth. “If You can get me out of this, I will serve You for the rest of my life,” he prayed. Back at the courthouse he confessed to the judge about the robberies and all the charges remaining on his record. “He told me he should bury me under the jail,” Joe says. But instead the judge gave him three-and-a-half years to five years. “It was then that I knew that it was God, because He always works in threes,” he says. “Trinity: the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.”

At five years old, Joe envisioned himself on stage, mic in hand. And in the sixth grade, he and the other boys held rap battles in school. They fashioned paper belts after those that WWF wrestlers wore and awarded them to the victors; the girls cheered them on. “I didn’t win them all, but I did win some,” he laughs. “It was cute”

As he grew up and survived street life, his rapping started gaining recognition. Vacant Lot Records, a subsidiary of Ruff Ryders, which had signed DMX and currently houses artists like Swizz Beatz and Jadakiss, had offered Joe a deal, but he had to serve his sentence. In jail, he attended church, but, for a time, considered himself too cool to talk to anyone. But a couple weeks into his sentence, he says, “I went back to my cell, and God came to me and said, ‘What can these people do for you?’” He started to think, “What could they do for me? They’re not going to take care of me. They’re not going to do my time for me, so why am I being quiet?”

He left behind the stoic G.I. and created another identity, the loud and boisterous Minista Whisper. “I told God, ‘I got this gift of rap, what am I going to do with it?’” he says. “You’re going to use it for me,” he heard God tell him. Joe never knew of gospel rappers before; “I thought I was going to be the first one,” he laughs.

After several transfers, Joe ended up in Groveland prison. There, he met a partner in gospel rap, named Kendrick Cuyler, also known as Prodigal. “We were like, ‘Yeah, we’re going to be big, man! We’re going to be huge!’” he smiles. After listening to Gospel Gangstaz, a Grammy-nominated Christian rap group, they convinced the president of a church to help create a gospel ministry in the prison. At their first performance, Joe remembers people rising to their feet, crying.

When Sakia met him eight years ago, they discovered they had similar stories: distant fathers, failing marriages. “He was praying for his wife at the time, and I was praying for my husband,” Sakia says. Joe laughs, “Go figure, I was in jail reading The Power of a Praying Wife.”

Two years ago, Joe met legendary rapper Kurtis Blow and invited him to hold a Fired Up Friday at the Gospel Temple-Church of God in Christ, on the city’s South Side. That night, Joe and Sakia went door-to-door announcing Blow’s arrival. Blow preached to and performed for two- to three-hundred people, including the mayor. “He’s very humble, definitely a man of God,” Blow says of Joe, who he knows only as Minista Whisper. “A lot of times God lets things happen to us for a reason, so that we can get closer to Him.”

In 2002, Joe started a record label, CrossFire Records, with Prodigal. Joe won the Syracuse Area Music Award for Best Hip-Hop Artist in 2005—”which is funny because there is no category for gospel rap,”he says—and the Tiffany Award at Lehman College in the Bronx in New York City. He’s traveled to Florida, Virginia, Vermont, and Pennsylvania to minister and tell his testimony. He plans to go to Brakpan in South Africa after his wife recuperates from giving birth to Wisdom.

In 2007, he and Justin Fatica, then a 25-year-old preacher, traveled to eight New Jersey schools to perform, with the national Catholic organization Hard As Nails Ministry. HBO documented their work. Joe gave his testimony, though he couldn’t say “Jesus” in the schools. “I told them, if they understand or feel what I’m saying, they should scream, ‘I feel you dog!’” Joe remembers. “And I swear, by the time I finished telling my testimony, kids were holding each other and crying and screaming, ‘I feel you dog!’” Joe said he could see the pain in their eyes, that he could feel it.

Right now, with Sakia’s help, Joe—as Minista Whisper—is focusing on spreading Fired Up Fridays, a weekly congregation that alternates between a movie and an open mic night, across ten churches in Syracuse. “A lot of the churches in the community aren’t doing enough to attract young people,” Sakia says. “We can use Fired Up Fridays as a doorway.” They watch artists display their talents at the Apostolic Church of Jesus Christ and hope that their creativity guides them toward a new path. Joe says, “It’s up to us to forgive and to help that person along to a better life—not to hold their past against them.”

photo credit: conselleimageconsultant.wordpress.com

By Lauryn Botterman

It is among life’s most confounding mysteries: WHY are guys so obsessed with boobs?! It seems that even the slightest hint of cleavage can drive a man wild. Ladies, if you’ve ever had to remind a male companion where your eyes are during the course of a conversation, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Somehow, a perky pair peeking out of a low-cut dress never fails to attract attention.

Perhaps the magnetic allure of breasts stems from primal instincts: they’re squishy, soft, and fun to play with. They are often swathed in pretty lace and patterns, and look even better bare. In contrast to the muscled, sturdy, masculine physique, the smooth curve of breasts—whether large or small— is a symbol of femininity. I’d imagine that being in the presence of several well-endowed women holds a sort of “forbidden fruit” appeal—you can look, but you can’t touch. It’s a tease, after all; these plush, fascinating components of the female anatomy sit just a few degrees below eye-level, posing a constant distraction. But unless you’re prepared to take a massive bitch-slap to the side of the face, you must overcome the urge to reach out and grab ‘em, however tempting they may seem.

When you really think about it, though, boobs are meant to serve one sole purpose—providing nourishment for infants. Despite the inordinate amount of money women spend on all varieties of brassiere in an effort to support their bosoms (i.e., push-up, strapless, demi-cup, underwire, wireless, sport, plunge…), breasts are merely collections of fat and mammary tissue. So why are they such a turn-on? We are often puzzled as to how a glimpse at “The Girls” can induce gawking, drooling, and the sudden loss of the ability to form coherent sentences. And yes boys, we can hear your not-so-subtle whispers of “daaamn, look at the rack on her!” to your wingman as you both shuffle to a prime chest-viewing vantage point. You could at least try to be a little more discreet when admiring our assets.

Although we certainly know how to use our boobs to our advantage—they can get us into parties, earn us free drinks, and form a handy compartment for our money, ID and phones—they can also be über annoying. We spend as much time bitching about our breasts as you guys spend ogling over them. Sure, they might look hot, but they become sore and bloated every few weeks when our monthly gift arrives. In order to go for a jog, we have to strap those puppies down into a tight, spandex device just to keep them from bouncing uncontrollably. And we know that they’ll eventually lose their youthful, sexy perk and succumb to the forces of gravity. Sad, but inevitable.

So men, remember that second base is not a right, but a privilege. While we may not fully understand your boob infatuation, we will never underestimate the power of a little cleavage and a tight-fitting shirt.

By Nicole Fisher

photo credit: http://couturecraft.blogspot.com/

By Maya Kosoff

It’s short. It’s hairy. And it fits perfectly under your nose. That’s right: it’s a mustache, and in keeping with November’s notorious no-shave theme, these little guys seem to be popping up everywhere—and not just on dudes’ upper lips.

A simple keyword search on the website of the eternally trendy and tragically hip fashion emporium Urban Outfitters boasts 29 products associated with the word ‘mustache,’ among them: a mustache mug , a mustache pillowcase set a set of ‘fingerstaches‘, a talking mustache keychain, a giant (and remarkably impractical) mustache car magnet, and even a ‘bikestache’ for your favorite eco-friendly, two-wheeled contraption.

Additionally, online t-shirt superstore Threadless offered a challenge this fall. In honor of ‘Movember’, the month right before winter that commemorates the mustache and all that it encompasses, Threadless fans and customers were encouraged to design a tee inspired by ‘mustache culture.’

Don’t get me wrong—I love facial hair on my dude as much as the next girl. But as far as I can tell, this so-called ‘mustache culture’ is being overtly inspired by the very industry peddling mustache goods. I have friends who will buy anything if it has a mustache on it because they think it looks cool.

And maybe it does, in a kinda lame and ironic way that I would have enjoyed more during my brooding early high school years when I worshipped Steven Chbosky’s “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” and did all my shopping at stores like Journeys and Hot Topic. You know, things that you thought made you unique but actually placed you into a pretty specific stereotype, along with every other equally lame fourteen-year-old in America.

But who’s convincing these kids that certain trends are cool in the first place? Oh right, businesses like Fred Flare and Modcloth —the same establishments spewing trendiness back at you with a pretty hefty price tag on it. And they’re going to keep profiting as long as they can keep convincing you and every single one of your trendy, fashion bandwagon-hopping friends that something hip and cool is worth buying. So yeah, today it’s mustaches—but tomorrow if they start selling random shit with pink yard flamingos on it, will you snatch up a mug, keychain, and socks because it’s kooky and cutting edge and that cute little vintage boutique in Williamsburg is selling t-shirt prints of it in every color?

I don’t know about you, but that’s not enough for me anymore. What is cool is individuality and a sense of self-identity. So put down your overpriced mustache ring, your mustache car antennae, and your mustache frisbee that were all mass-produced for thousands of trendy middle-class American teenagers. Pick up something that really defines you instead—and if you can’t buy it in a store, good. You’re worth way more than that set of $275 obscure, hand-printed balsa wood mustache business cards anyway.

photo credit: heymadeleine.tumblr.com

By Victoria Troxler

VHS technology may seem as ancient as the dinosaurs by this point, so it’s hard to believe that was only 15 years ago. At the same time, music had also made the big jump from tape to CD. Think back to the days when you had to carry your chunky fur-covered CD case everywhere and you could only listen to 12 songs at the time. It was a lot harder to hide guilty pleasures like show tunes in the depths of your CD case, like you now can do with the iPod. Since this prehistoric time, movie-watching and music outlets have physically shrunk; getting music for free is now a breeze!

The shrinking started in the early 90s with the Hit Clips trend. If you don’t remember this rudimentary music player, it was a tiny boom box that allowed you to play a single song at a time. Even though it was marketed as a toy, the product foreshadowed what was about to happen to its colossal Walkman counterpart. The perpetual trend of the shrinking music player had begun.

It was the rising popularity of mp3’s in 2008 that led to a massive drop in sales for CD’s. It also paved the way for programs like Napster and iTunes to change the way we consume music forever. It was in 2001 that the first iPod turned the CD case into an antique. Just 10 years ago, the iPod was about the size of a deck of cards with a battery life of only 10 hours, and now the largest iPod Touch is .28 inches thick and can last up to 40 hours.

As for movies, the ancient VHS tape has become a fossil. In 1996, the much sleeker DVD player turned watching movies into a clear, crisp experience. These new types of media paved the way for the introduction of Netflix in 1997 which was also accompanied by a trend of illegally downloading media. It seemed just few short weeks later that Blue Ray disks were introduced.

When given the choice to buy physical copies of music and movies or to illegally download them, the latter is obviously the most popular.  According to Recording Industry Association of America, “From 2004 through 2009 alone, approximately 30 billion songs were illegally downloaded on file-sharing networks.” The introduction of Napster in 2000, followed quickly by government crackdowns on music downloading, made society question the prevalence of this new trend. However, illegal media was only beginning. Computers and now iPads make this process even easier. Why buy a movie when you can illegally download it for free and plug your computer into a TV?

What, then, does the future hold?

I foresee bite-sized media will continue to shrink and illegal downloads will get even easier. Before we know it, the iPad will be paper-thin and CD’s will be the next vinyl records. With this trend I see the music and movie industries drastically upping the regulations and penalties for illegal use of their products. And because those regulations likely won’t work, the way musicians make money will drastically change as well.

photo credit: blog.rogercpareview.com

By Victoria Troxler

Fucked up on midterms? Right there with you, Jerks. This semester I have dug myself quite the midterm hole to crawl my way out of. Apparently the professors that assigned reading this semester actually expected me to do it. Well shit, now I know. With only a few grades in most of my classes, this hole is probably a few miles deep by this point. Though I should have had a heart attack after getting my grades back, I am now a seasoned veteran at the mid-semester turn around. Follow my advice and you’ll be just fine.

Think positive.

You did this to yourself, so there is no point in stressing yourself out over the last grade. Think about the next test or project. You might say this is naïve or even stupid, but this mindset has helped me almost every semester of my college life.

Ditch the computer.

Though your class is boring as shit, avoid the urge to bring your computer. You won’t even try to pay attention while you search Pinterest for cute animals. Go with an old-fashioned pencil and paper.

Start reading.

I’m still shocked by this concept, but professors really do assign readings for a reason.  Do them. If you do a few pages each night you’ll be right on track.

Talk to your teacher.

Ask your professor for ways to raise your grade. Showing that you care about your grade means a lot to them. Whether it be participating more in class or doing some extra credit, your teacher will want to help you out. By no means do you need to turn into the teachers pet, but do your shit.

Say goodbye to Tuesday nights.

Leave drinking to the weekends. Your Tuesday night blackout routine isn’t helping your studies. I’m not suggesting you study all night, but doing some reading and going to bed early will help your study time on Wednesday as well.

photo credit: adoubledoseofdoctor.blogspot.com

So, boys, you finally got with that girl you’ve been pining after. You may think it’s smooth sailing from here on out, but don’t get too comfortable just yet. Your seemingly genius strategy may in fact lead to your downfall.

Based on personal experience, friends’ horror stories, and plain common sense, here are the top 5 ways to ruin your chances with any girl. Translation: What not to do.

Showing off your “popularity.”

She is probably aware that you have friends. When walking through a crowd, please resist the urge to do your personal back-hand, shoulder-bump, fist-pound handshake with every single one of your bros. Focus on what’s important here… (your girl, duh).

Gossiping about yourself.

No girl wants to walk by your pack of friends giggling like a bunch of little school girls, pointing at you saying, “That’s her! That’s the girl he was with last night!” Knowing you run and tell your friends every little detail about your sex life is a little uncomfortable, not to mention immature. If your friends can’t play it cool, you probably can’t either.

Playing too hard to get.

You may think waiting a week or two before sending a text will make her want you more, but by that point any girl will have moved on to the next one. Screw playing games here: make your move or else she’ll make hers—on someone else.

Being too clingy.

Now, please don’t take the previous example to such an extreme that you become a stage-5 clinger. You don’t want to gain the reputation of a stalker by constantly texting “Where are you? What are you doing tonight? Hello? Are you there?” Put yourself out there once or twice, but repeatedly saying “Hey want to hang? I’m having a pre-game in my room, want to come? So you’ll be there? See you at 10?” is just annoying and will probably result in the blocking of your number.

Being super emotional.

This point is subjective. If you and a girl are not exclusive, don’t throw a bitch fit if you find out she got with someone else. If you are exclusive, I do understand your disappointment, but there is no need to waste your tears on a girl who doesn’t like you back.

Sorry for the tough love, but you’ll thank me later.

Ellie Engstrom, a design/tech drama major, and Katherine McCombs, a stage management major, took it upon themselves to create an original Form & Function. They felt the representation of how drama students dress in our October 2011 issue only applied for the acting and musical theater majors. What do you think about their take on how the students behind-the-scenes dress?

Photo by Alison Joy

By Sarah Schmalbruch

We caught Sydney Hutchinson at one of the only times that she wasn’t moving to the music or making it herself. With a Ph.D. in Ethnomusicology from NYU and two knee surgeries from too much dancing, it would be an understatement to say that she’s musically inclined. Her advice to students: don’t go on stage at an air guitar competition without at least three beers in you and take a year off before grad school. She may be the first professor we actually listen to.

In one sentence, what do you do all day?

I teach, I grade, I advise, I write, I think, I read; I also eat and sleep which are two things I greatly enjoy, and I play music and dance.

How do you practice the air guitar?

Excellent question. I attended an air guitar training camp in Finland and learned some good techniques there. It’s a full day workshop for aspiring competitors. You learn things about improvisation, you learn to laugh at yourself and at one another. You also learn about choreography and stage presence. I think it’s important to watch a lot of other air guitar performances. Thank God for YouTube. Watch some excellent air guitar performances for inspiration and entertainment.

Describe the atmosphere of an air guitar competition?

Drunken debauchery. Actually Björn Turoqüe said one should have at least three beers to go onstage at a competition. People with less than three beers in them will probably not win. There’s always a general sense of camaraderie. Air guitarists like to hang out together, act silly, admire each other’s costumes. Backstage, people are certainly nervous about going onstage, but it’s definitely a different feeling than going onstage for another type of music event.

What’s the best thing to wear in orange?

A hollowed-out pumpkin. You could pretend you were the headless horseman.

What do you hate/love the most about SYR?

I have the same answer for both. The snow. I hate it and I love it. I’m from Arizona so I didn’t grow up with snow at all. On one hand it’s horrible because I don’t know how to drive in it, but it’s great to go skiing.

Guitar Hero or Rock Band? Why?

Good question. I have Guitar Hero at home but I have to say that the people who made Rock Band are really clever because they hired an actual air guitar world champion to do the motion capture. I think that was very savvy. They recognize the value of air guitar and the knowledge air guitarists have as fans of music.

Last movie you saw in theaters? What did you think?

This weekend I saw “In Time.” I thought it was an entertaining take on the current disparity of wealth within the U.S. It was more entertaining than our current political situation and yet it commented aptly on it.

Freshman year at college, you were the kid who:

I was the kid who spent too much time dancing. I sure paid for that too. I’ve had two knee surgeries, but it was fun while it lasted. I took dance classes, but it was mostly what I did outside of classes. I was a piano major and there was this idea that if one is going to do music you had to only do music. I was one of the only ones who chose to do both dance and music.

What is your Starbucks order?

I try to not go to chains, but I think I’m more of a cappuccino drinker. Although if we go back to the freshman year in college question, I was always having hazelnut lattes, but we didn’t have Starbucks then.

Best advice you could give a college student/something to do before graduation?

The advice that I would give to a college student is going to be advice that every parent will hate me for. I think that every student needs to take time off after they graduate. I would never advise going right into grad school. People need diversity of experience. You can’t know what you want to do before you’ve had experiences. Travel around, try some strange jobs, follow your dreams.

What did you want to be growing up?

When I was a child I wanted to be a biologist. I was really interested in animals and animal life. I thought that would be fun until I found out biology involved dissecting things. Then senior year of high school I was registering for college and I just wrote down music as my major and I didn’t know why. I think I thought if I didn’t study music then I would never do it. And now I’m a musicologist, so it seemed to work.

Biggest pet peeve?

That’s an easy one. I’m a grammar freak and I hate when people confuse its and it’s. It makes me crazy. I get papers all the time from people who do that.

Most embarrassing teaching moment?

There are so many. How can I choose? Everyone makes mistakes. That’s not so embarrassing, right? I’ve probably blocked them out because they’re too painful. Everyday that you teach there’s at least one embarrassing moment in there.

What’s on your Thanksgiving table?

I’m going to say tofu loaf. I’m vegetarian. I make mushroom gravy too, which is really good. The rest is the usual: stuffing, pies, my sister’s broccoli casserole, which she insists is healthy but I’m not sure because it consists of mostly cream and cheese and just a little broccoli.

Favorite dance move?

The double dream hands. Look it up on YouTube. Actually, one of my students last semester showed us that video in class. It was great.

GQ recently ranked Cornell number one on their list of the 25 Douchiest Colleges in America. SU didn’t make the cut; assumingly because we’re the classiest. Parade through campus in this season’s letterman jackets, varsity sweaters, and Ivy-League approved accessories.

Photographer: Taylor Miller
Models: Kyle Barrett, Oritt Blum, Avery Bowser, Chet Davis, Paul Dubas, Bobby Eilers, Joe Moore
Assistant Stylists: Kelly Bucci, Noah Silverstein

Photo by Sarah Kinslow

By Jerk Staff

MEMBERS: Sam Sodomsky

YEARS ACTIVE: Six

SOUND: Acoustic Singer/Songwriter

SOUNDS LIKE

Lo-fi Conor Oberst and Paul Simon with a liberal use of Auto-Tune.

WHAT HE JERKS TO

Amy Grant, Joni Mitchell, Bruce Springsteen

BEST SONGS

“Darkness of Man’s Soul” from The Bird Calls 2010 album, Love Birds, begins reminiscent of Illinoise-era Sufjan then shifts into dissonance and ends in a gentle flurry of R&B with Auto-Tuned vocals.

WHY YOU SHOULD LISTEN UP

Through his honest image-laden lyrics, bare acoustic guitar, and quivering melodic vocals, The Bird Calls’ music is about as genuine as can be. Judging by his already expansive catalog, The Bird Calls won’t stop releasing music anytime soon.

UNLIKELY SOURCE OF INSPIRATION

Growing up listening to the likes of Iron Maiden and Black Sabbath, The Bird Calls would love to replicate his idols by one day playing for a metal band.

WHERE YOU CAN HEAR HIM

You can download his albums for free online, starting with his upcoming release, I Am the Resurrection (working title). He also plans on releasing a greatest hits compilation by the end of the year.

photo credit: digitaltrends.com

By Shea Garner

Hitler burned books. America is phasing them out. Say goodbye to that new book smell. For that matter, say goodbye to that old book smell too. Hardcover vs. paperback: what’s the difference? We now have e-books.

The introduction of electronic reading in the digital age has been pretty revolutionary. Yet the argument between physical vs. digital media continues to grow. That book you pull off of your shelf when you have free time or are feeling down? It’s now on your iPhone.

The question is a simple one: do you enjoy the nostalgia of curling up with your romance novel (Fabio cover included) and flipping through the worn, brown pages until you reach your favorite part? Or do you prefer quick searching it on your Kindle so you can get your fix, fast and easy? In situations that have nothing to do with reading, I’d prefer the latter.

Amazon has recently introduced an “e-book lending library” which allows you to share your e-books with other customers. This sanctity used to only be known to book-club members and tag sale early birds. It’s almost blasphemy.

But honestly, this could be said about most digital media. Do you prefer records or CDs? VHSs or DVDs? Before you know it, you’ll be called a hipster for owning the hard copy of a novel. If you’re looking to jump on the e-book bandwagon, check out the best-sellers below.

Kindle- When you hear “e-reader,” you probably think Kindle. And being the top e-reader on the market, you have a right to think that. Amazon offers three versions of the Kindle- the Kindle, the Kindle Touch, and the Kindle Fire. The first two are black and white, while the latter two are equip with a touch screen (and the Fire is in color). If you want a simple e-reader, this is the buy for you.

iPad- Apple offers iBooks for the iPad and even your iPod touch and iPhone. Most people might not want to read on a small screen, so the iPad would be the way to go. With features that venture beyond the e-reader world, such as web browsing, music storage, apps, and more…who can say no?

Google iRiver- The Google iRiver works seamlessly with Google Books. The iRiver is black and white and sans a touch screen but, hey, we give Google an “A for effort.”

What do you think of e-readers and e-books? Let us know in the comments section below.

Illustration by: Cassia Brooks

By Lauren Tousignant

On October 7, 2001, a small, relatively new Arabic-speaking network based in Doha, Qatar, broadcast a short video of Osama bin Laden delivering an alarming message of destruction to the American people. In the aftermath of 9/11, the Bush administration attacked the network for airing the footage, accusing the station of harboring an Anti-American bias. The station, Al Jazeera, disregarded the recriminations and continued airing any bin Laden videos they received. The American government quickly reputed Al Jazeera as al-Qaeda’s mouthpiece.

So when Al Jazeera created its English speaking sister channel (AJE) in 2006, it’s no surprise that the station was only picked up by a handful of local cable networks in the U.S.

The network’s absence in the U.S. is sad and, quite frankly, embarrassing for a country that prides itself on being the model for freedom of press. Suffering from a mixture of xenophobia, Islamophobia, and fear that bin Laden’s recordings held coded messages for his imprisoned terrorists (thank you, Condoleezza Rice), the U.S. successfully ignored one of the most powerful news networks in the world.

“It’s truly a disservice and a stupid decision on the part of the U.S. government,” commented Professor Mehrzad Boroujerdi, Director of the Middle Eastern Studies program at SU. “Their coverage of international news is far, far superior to anything we have.”

Since 2006, AJE has grown to reach over 220 million homes and is accessible in more than 100 countries, including every major European market. As the first and only English-speaking network in the Middle East, it serves as a local voice with a global reach. The network’s stated objective, “to give voice to untold stories, promote debate, and challenge established perception,” exemplifies the ultimate goal for journalists.

Meanwhile, we Americans remained satisfied with our talking heads and celebritized reporters, denying that xenophobia played a role in our refusal to air the network.

“I have a satellite dish at my house, and I stopped watching CNN, FOX and all those networks because I didn’t want to be wasting my time when AJE’s conducting an interview with a Somali pirate,” said Professor Boroujerdi. “Something like that would never be aired on our networks.”

This past spring, when revolutions broke throughout the Middle East, AJE was no longer ignorable. The station’s up-close coverage has received immense praise for its aggressive and unparalleled reporting. The Egyptian protests—the 17-day revolution that ignited the uprisings known as the Arab Spring—placed the international spotlight on AJE’s around the clock coverage.

With six Middle Eastern bureaus (Doha, Beirut, Gaza, Ramallah, Tehran and Cairo), AJE’s reporters broadcast their first stories of the uprisings, while American networks fumbled getting their correspondents overseas. It was only then, that the American public took notice.

A New York Times article published on January 31—six days after the first indications of unrest—reported that traffic to AJE’s website had increased 2,500 percent since January 29. The article’s reporter, Brian Stetler, spoke with the head of AJE online, Mohamed Nanabhay, who stated that of the 4 million views the live stream had received since the 29, 1.6 million came from the United States.

With the network finally receiving the recognition it deserves, we can hope the major cable companies will catch on as well. On August 1, TimeWarner Cable and Verizon FiOS began carrying the channel for New York City subscribers. Recent news reports that beginning on October 31, Chicago will also air the network for two 30-minute time slots, six days a week on public television station WWTW-TV Channel 11 and WTTW Prime, respectively.

Unfortunately, it took chaos for us to finally notice what our past administration worked to ignore. Even more bizzare is that xenophobia was never used to describe the suspicious atmosphere of our society. It’s discouraging that such an enviornment hindered our country’s access to a medium that could have drastically altered the conversation.

Even so, there’s no acceptable excuse as to why AJE landed a spot on America’s blacklist. Nothing, not even a platform of Anti-Americanism, should have dissuaded cable companies against carrying the network.

For a country so willing to uphold the first amendment, freedom of speech must apply to all—especially when so many are willing to listen.

photo credit: melskitchencafe.com

By Allison Joy

This week, try expanding your gastronomical horizons with some classic Indian dishes. Simmer up a traditional batch of Indian Butter Chicken (a sweet, savory, and creamy treat) served over rice that ends with a kick. Pair it with a Mango Lassi made with fresh fruit and yogurt – it’ll cool you down in no time and satisfy your sweet tooth. Not sure where to get the ingredients? Check out the ethnic foods aisle in Wegmans, or wander down to the spice market on Marshall Street. Enjoy!

Indian Butter Chicken (serves 6)
1 cup butter
1 onion, minced
1 tbsp minced garlic
1 15 oz. can of tomato sauce
3 cups heavy cream
2 tsp salt
1 tsp cayenne pepper
1 tsp garam masala
Pinch of fresh cilantro (optional)
1 ½ pounds of skinless, boneless chicken breast cut into bite-sized pieces
2 tbsp vegetable oil
2 tbsp tandoori masala
Basmati rice

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees
2. Melt 2 tbsp butter in a sauce pan. Caramelize the onions and garlic until dark brown.
3. On medium heat, add the remaining amount of butter, tomato sauce, cream, salt, cayenne and garam masala. Bring it to a simmer and reduce the heat to medium low. Cover and continue to let simmer for 30 minutes, stirring.
4. While the sauce simmers, toss the chicken cubes in vegetable oil, season with tandoori masala, and spread them on a baking sheet.
5. Bake chicken for around 12 minutes, or until the center is no longer pink. Add to the sauce and let simmer for 5 minutes. Garnish with fresh cilantro.
6. Serve over basmati rice.

Mango Lassi
1 mango, peeled and diced
1 cup plain yogurt
2 tbsp white sugar
2 tbsp honey
½ cup ice

1. Combine ingredients in a blender and blend until smooth.

Recipes adapted from allrecipes.com

They chose homeschooling for many reasons, but among them were flexibility,
the learning process, and faith. The environment allows for a non-traditional
education style, which enables the children to receive personalized teaching
methods to fit their individual needs. “I think you get closer family bonds. It’s
intergenerational—they interact on a different level,” Deanna explains. “You
focus more on their strengths and build on those. It’s not just classroom time. It’s
more trying to live what they’re studying.”

Deanna says she struggles with embodying the roles of both parent and
teacher some days, wishing a big yellow bus would pick her kids up for
school. “It’s not always easy,” she says. “With the homeschooling, you work on
the whole relationship and how to cooperate even if you don’t want to.”
Unlike some public school students who scramble to complete homework on
the weekend, the McGregors are motivated to finish everything during the
week. Even when Deanna clocks out as teacher, she makes sure her children’s
education continues. “Learning doesn’t take place inside a building from 9 to 3,”
she says. “It doesn’t stop when you are done with school.”

Photo Credit: Mitchell Franz

By Sarah Lamar

In a clean pocket of grass that used to blend with the railroad tracks and red brick warehouses surrounding the area, a small group of onlookers await a spectacle. A man in brown slacks and a beige sport coat turns to the woman closely linked in his arm, “Do you realize how strange this is? We’re attending the unveiling of a fake of a fake.” The people gather here at Lipe Art Park in Syracuse’s Near Westside to see the debut of a petrified giant, similar to the one that piqued the interest of the city 142 years ago. This day has become an ode to that original Cardiff Giant, a hoax from 19th century Syracuse, attributed as one of the greatest in United States history.

Among trips to the tent where the Cardiff Giant rests and quarters given as payment for viewing, conversations begin. While community members discuss the history of the event, they unearth their own. Their attention becomes evenly divided between curiosity in the fake statue and real interest in each other. Old friends reform connections and comment on how much each other’s children have grown. The event has morphed into an example, on the smallest scale, of community celebration and dialogue. If only this energy would spread past Lipe Art Park and across the entire city.

Syracuse is no longer in the golden age of industry. The days of salt bushels and farm equipment floating down the Erie Canal on ships ended decades ago. Without these economic staples, the city struggles to find a lasting identity—one that will define and attach people to Syracuse. Local artists and their allies believe they have found a solution to the city’s soul searching. Through seemingly small additions to the city’s aesthetic, like statues on street corners, they hope to bring back celebration of Syracuse. By sparking interest and discussion within the community, public art can help the city gain a new, urban-rich identity. Suddenly, the neglected and downtrodden spaces house possibility instead of just vacancy. Syracuse’s frontier has become a land of opportunity.

Brendan Rose shifts in his chair.  You can tell he is an artist—from the long-sleeved red thermal shirt with a small tatter in the sleeve and a blue wired necklace peeking over the neckline, to the paint spatters on his jeans. Or maybe he’s a builder—he wears brown work boots, and a bucket of tools constantly occupies the backseat of his car. Catching his architectural side takes a seasoned eye, more easily noticed on the wall of his Syracuse Public Artist in Residence (SPAR) studio where a computer-aided design drawing of a large dragon-like creature hangs. In reality, the Serpent—Rose’s first major project under the official SPAR title—weaves itself above and below ground in Armory Square. “This is my residence in a way; if there is such thing as a residence to the artist in residence.”  From the chaos inside, someone might accuse Rose of squatting this storefront in the State Building, but he has a key just like the doctors and the lawyers in the building. A cardboard cut-out reading “SPAR” hangs above the door, and a wooden desk and models overwhelm the display windows. Inside sketches, models from past projects, and illustrated facial outlines on acetate cover several walls. “People tell me I should live here,” he says as he points to the loft above the whole space. He admits, however, that he would probably have to shower at the YMCA if this was his actual home. The space came along with the SPAR title, and the title came after a project for his Master’s thesis at the Syracuse School of Architecture from which he graduated in 2010. Since receiving the title and the space, Rose has taken a very organic approach to art and his position within the confines of bureaucracy.

A few streets away within city hall, a picture of one of Rose’s pieces, Tectonic Structure 01, Hand hangs on the wall above the desk of Kate Auwaerter. Like professionals who display their diplomas upon their wall, this picture is a testament to her pride and responsibility as Syracuse public arts coordinator and preservation planner for the past three years. She knows the ins-and-outs of the system. As she delves into long explanations of the process of moving a piece of public art through the system, she interrupts the conversation with quick observations. Someone coughs. Her response: Do you need a cup of water? It’s hot in the room. She opens a window.

That small beep every so often comes from her cell phone, which she religiously checks.

In the public art world, her job, essentially, is guiding artists through the bureaucracy of the city structure. If they want their art displayed on public property, it has to be approved. She’s the guide artists need to navigate departmental approvals, complete applications, and undergo reviews by the 11-member Commission, comprised of artists, non-artists, art administrators, and representatives from neighborhood planning councils. “Fortunately, I would say pretty much everyone who works in these various departments gets the whole thing.” She flips through an amended copy of the 2007 Public Art Ordinance, listing rules and regulations with each page turn. Then she switches to the names of the current members of the Commission. These are the people who decide if a piece follows the seven criteria necessary for public construction: artistic merit, intentionality of the artist, significance, and other safety and lasting issues. “It’s not what you would call plop art—art that has no bearing on this community or location at all. If you just plop the artwork down, it doesn’t make any sense at all,” she says.

That’s what makes the decisions in shaping the physical fabric of Syracuse so difficult. Who chooses what art goes where must do so carefully if Syracuse wants the same kind of hot realty and development spaces like the Chicagos and the New Yorks. But that’s the dream says Auwaerter, though she admits that Syracuse’s strive to resemble these has been a little slower. “We’re a few years behind folks but certainly catching up,” she says. The speed of this catch-up depends primarily on funds. The city had some money budgeted under a special projects line for works of public art, but the money is no longer there. The last of it was welded, painted, and sculpted into seven different pieces in seven Syracuse neighborhoods this past summer. Current projects must find other sources of funding through foundations and corporate sponsorship. But, the support exists, and even first time public artists are encouraged to submit applications.

Together with Rose, Stasya Erickson runs the Public Art Task Force at 40 Below, a group dedicated to bringing public art to the forefront of the city and giving individuals an outlet to collaborate on public art projects. Co-chairing the 40 Below Public Arts Task force is a volunteer position alongside her jobs as the arts and culture coordinator of Northside UP, teaching at Syracuse University, and being an artist herself. Answering her phone from work, she moves a quieter room. “Hello? Hello? Can you hear me?” She talks about a project the Task Force completed this summer that commemorates a piece of Syracuse history. She speaks passionately, almost as if her enthusiasm can motivate others to support and believe in public art as a way to transform the city.

The project appears on Erie Boulevard as thick blue stripes running along two blocks of the street. Some stripes lead right to the back of the area behind the State Building where Rose has his SPAR office. The strokes of vibrant blue paint have a stark resemblance to a bar code as if the path appears on Google Earth. Erickson created the concept for “arterie,” an installation tracing a small section where the Erie Canal once flowed on the now paved streets. The Task Force and the Erie Canal Museum decided to pursue the project, requiring gallons of paint and closing down the section of Erie Boulevard for five days this past summer. After completion, the project added itself to the everyman’s art museum. The Task Force projects have received mostly positive reactions thus far, but not everyone loves everything. Not every resident thinks every piece uses the space or resources in the best way, regardless of the intent. “Mixed is good because it inspires a dialogue. If everyone loves what you’re doing, then you’re doing something wrong,” says Erickson. At some point though, the community has to own the piece. It no longer belongs to the artist.

As the art community’s poster boy, Rose embodies the hope that public art can revitalize the community, but he has had difficulty trying to make art that meets everyone’s expectations. He remembers the bad feelings that spurred from the creation of his serpent piece; he rushed to get the piece approved so he could collaborate with SU students, all the while wondering if the Commission and community would like his work. While he recognizes he will never have complete approval, he is still pursuing his current project a little more politically. “That means a slower process,” he says. The piece has no name and no solid concept; it exists in the exploratory phase with only Rose’s intent to guide him. “I want to build connections between people through some piece of public art. That’s basically it.”

As he speaks about the possibilities, he remains firm in his belief that public art can truly create change for Syracuse, though his high timbre laugh follows several of his musings.  “It’s beyond us trying to get jobs. We’re trying to raise a family. We’re trying to get the trash collected. How do we actually show we care about a place?” Rose believes public art can provide the reason to care for many by giving them parts of the city to remember and carry with them. “As much as there’s something that’s very superficial about that, it’s so important for working cities and places,” says Rose.

Dennis Earle looks down where he cut his thumb, where the steel peeled it back like a tangerine rind. He rubs his finger right below his hairline and across his nose where the steel swiped back and cut him, leaving scars that are fading now. The adjunct professor in the department of design at SU moves and shapes his hands as he speaks about the steel sculpture, Rising, he made for Finnegan Park.  These are novice’s cuts, the kind that come from never having created a 12-foot-tall steel sculpture but doing it anyway. “If you’re going to give them something, give them something substantial,” says Earle. Initially, Earle did have help. He hired welders from the Mack Brothers Boiler Works, and when the money ran out, he finished the piece himself. Earle moves his hands when he speaks, as if he’s creating Rising right in front of you. He stops, when he realizes another problem he reached. He should have painted the sculpture before installation. Instead, he ended up painting on site. “While I was there on this giant ladder with tarps all over the place and stuff, people would come by and talk to me, and I got this sense of what people in the neighborhood thought about it. And they were very excited,” says Earle.

Had the sculpture been Earle’s own piece in a gallery, he might have said thank you after each comment of approval, but Earle made the sculpture solely for the community. Any time someone said they liked the piece, he responded, “I’m glad you like it.” Earle, like many other players in the public art arena, don’t want to create art for the sake of creating art. The pieces they make must help redefine Syracuse and unify the people and the city through this new identity. Revitalizing the city in this way begins with ideas like Earle’s. “It’s not mine it’s theirs. I’ve given it up to them. What I wanted to say was not ‘well thank you for giving me a personal pat on the back.” I’m not really interested in that,” says Earle. But rather I think it’s great that you like it because it’s yours.

Photos by Taylor Miller

Ambra Tieszen

Around 11 a.m. every Wednesday, the concession window in the gymnasium at St. Lucy’s Food Pantry begins serving lunch. The line that snakes around the gym moves forward, but never seems to shrink. A woman tries controlling her rowdy child, two men chat loudly in Spanish, and an old man moseys through the doors toward his place at the back of the line. “Today’s not that bad—usually the line is all the way back there,” remarks Viola Girvin, a regular at the lunches, pointing to the very back of the gym. Clad in a gray sweatshirt with messy, short brown hair, she sits across the table from her brother and next to a small, fidgeting 3-year-old boy she’s babysitting for a friend. They come every Wednesday. “Families get together, friends get together,” she says. “It’s a good thing.”

Viola lives across the street from St. Lucy’s on the Southwest Side of Syracuse. She has lived here her entire life, and for the last seven years she’s received groceries from the church’s food pantry every month. “It’s a good place to get away,” Viola says. “To sit down, relax, and enjoy a meal.”

On this Wednesday, the pantry offers turkey, macaroni and cheese, goulash, and pea soup. Viola’s burly 27-year-old nephew, Byron, sits down with a plate filled by almost the entire menu and two loaves of bread. Local bakeries donated the loaves for St. Lucy’s to give out for free. It’s pretty much fresh, Byron says. He scored a large gourmet fruit and nut loaf, which doesn’t always happen.

Byron just moved back home after living with family members three-and-a-half hours north, on a Native American reservation. He went to school and worked at a casino. But his job went downhill and he became homeless, so he called his aunt to ask for a bus ticket home. He moved back into his dad’s house on the Southwest Side three months ago. “I’m trying to get back on my feet right now,” Byron says between bites. He says he recently landed a job at Victoria’s Secret.

According to a 2010 report from the New York State Community Action Association, of the 137,701 individuals living in Syracuse, 37,318 people live in poverty—a little less than one in every three. The Food Bank of Central New York’s 2010 Hunger Study shows over two of every three food bank clients have annual incomes below the official federal poverty line, which is $22,050 for a family of four. “The number of people living below the poverty line is the highest it’s ever been,” says Michelle Jordan, executive director of the Interreligious Food Consortium of CNY, a grassroots organization in Onondaga County that works with the Food Bank of CNY to supply food pantries with groceries and canned goods. The IFC has received a startling influx of calls lately from individuals looking for a place to get free food because, as victims of the recent economic downturn, they can no longer afford groceries. Leslie Dubiel, the director of St. Lucy’s Food Pantry, described one woman’s story, “She speaks broken English, but she told me her medications are so expensive that she spends her food money on medicine now.”

Syracuse houses 70 food pantries, each one within its own designated area. Those unsure about which food pantry serves their targeted region reach out to the IFC, which directs them to the specific pantry that covers their residential area. The need for food has become so widespread that some community members have become dependent on their pantries and the services they provide, says Dubiel. On top of their sit-down lunch every Wednesday from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m., the pantry at St. Lucy’s resembles a grocery store, complete with stocked shelves of different cereals and canned goods, and a large produce fridge filled with bags of lettuce, tomatoes, and an array of fruits and vegetables.

When clients walk in, they take a slip and sit down until a worker calls their number. Then, their “shopping” begins. Volunteers guide the clients through the pantry’s two aisles, helping them pick and choose items to their liking. “Brown rice or white rice? Which type of cereal?  You want tomatoes? Here’s two,” says one. The personal shopper then packs the food into brown bags and sends the client off with, “Have a nice day”—never “We hope you come back soon.” “To me, the most important thing is that people come here and leave here with their dignity,” says Dubiel.

You can see that struggle for respect in the neighborhood surrounding St. Lucy’s. Run-down houses line the streets, and sometimes two or three residents walk the sidewalks, pushing shopping carts full of old recyclables and raggedy blankets. It’s one of the poorest areas of Syracuse. But according to Dubiel, “If you have to be poor, Syracuse is a good city to be poor in.”

On the near West Side of Syracuse, Assumption gives out sandwiches every day to anyone who approaches the sandwich window, even if they aren’t registered at the food pantry or live in the targeted distribution area. The number of customers has spiked there as well, but Brother Nicholas Spano, director of the pantry, says it’s due to a poor infrastructure incapable of helping impoverished people recover. “We work within a broken system,” he says. “What we do is good, what we do changes, but we’re not changing the root of the problem.”

Syracuse currently faces a blossoming hunger issue that stems from a larger economic struggle, both without solutions powerful enough to uproot the problem. In July 2011, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, 7.8 percent of Syracuse area residents were unemployed. A concentration of those looking for but unable to find jobs lived within the city. Without a steady paycheck, some residents can’t afford food. And so the number of pantry dependents continues to grow, which, by helping heal the problem, may also be fueling it.

There hasn’t been a supermarket on the Southwest Side since the last one went out of business in the late 1960s. There are only glorified corner stores that sell food that lack any real essential nutrients for outrageous prices. Residents can neither afford the food sold in the store, nor a car to drive to a proper supermarket.

According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, the area has become a “food desert,” an area where healthy food options remain virtually nonexistent for a high concentration of people with low income, leading to poor health and eating habits. But members of the Southwest Side community plan to change this. At the forefront is Carolyn Evans-Dean, the Business Counselor for the Southwest Economic Business Resource Center, a program of the nonprofit affordable housing organization Jubilee Homes of Syracuse. Evans-Dean is spearheading the program’s renovation of a run-down, vacant supermarket in the area. When they received money from the county as compensation for building unpopular sewage treatment sites in the area, Evans-Dean sat down with a focus group of proactive residents to decide what their community needed most. Together, they chose to dole out mini-grants for house repair, invest in community centers, and, as the crown jewel, open their own, long-overdue grocery store. They decided how the store will look and that the employees will get paid enough to make a living. The variety of food sold in the store will be provided by another initiative of Jubilee Homes called the Urban Delights Youth Farmstand Project, which pays individuals to grow and harvest fruits and vegetables from a community garden that they then sell.

Evans-Dean estimates that it will take between three and four million dollars to bring the plan to life, and they can only do so much with the few grants they’ve received. “The economy isn’t great right now,” Evans-Dean says, “so it’s hard to find the funding to do a project like this.” They’re talking with real estate agents, but whether or not they receive private, regional, or national help, she says they will build a grocery store on the South Side. “We will do whatever it takes—even if it means scaling things back,” says Evans-Dean. An official opening date, however, remains uncertain.

But those two nonnegotiable components, if achieved, will help ameliorate the hunger problem encompassing the Southwest Side. The living wages will provide the newly employed workers with a steady income, which they can then use to buy the local, healthy foods sold in the store.  “People will not only have access to healthy food, but they will be able to see where the food comes from,” says Evans-Dean. “Everything is community based. We believe this store will add to the fabric of the community.”

Illustration by Jill Stromberg

By Carli Cooper

Dear Carli,

It’s not easy for me to admit this, but I’m in a slump with the ladies. As a single guy on campus, I’m wondering what alternatives (of the toy variety) are out there.

Dear Hands Solo,

It takes a real man to admit defeat.  Luckily, the lady-less like you developed a few tools to make nights less lonely. Here are some suggestions to pleasure yourself—and occupy your time while you wait for a girl to actually come home with you.

If you’re looking for a hand, try the newest innovation in hand-held vaginas: the Fleshlight.  Molded after the cooters of actual porn stars, these pink rubbery gadgets are as lifelike as it gets.  Washable, durable, and most importantly, reusable, Fleshlights come in a variety of models and makes, like “Speed Bump” and “Original Lady.” Just make sure your roommate doesn’t confuse it with your flashlight.

An old standby, the blow-up doll works magic because of its gag gift reputation.  Thanks to movies like Old School, you can stand a “Blow-Up Babe” in the corner at a party and blame it on “that joker from high school.” These inflatable bimbos are generally cheap and recyclable, but the low-grade plastic will likely result in chafing.

Just be careful; the line, “It’s not herpes, it’s just an allergic reaction to my pocket vagina” isn’t exactly a charmer.

Dear Carli,

My boyfriend and I have been together for about six months now, and our sex life is already a little stale. I want to spice it up, but I don’t want to scare him away. What’s the line between sexy and flat-out raunchy?

Dear Super-Freak,

Too often, women think that getting their freaky-deaky on is un-ladylike. But with the right mix of sex appeal and surprise, you can easily take your man from a yawn to a gasp in a matter of seconds. Be careful though. There’s a fine line between vixen and vamp.

When separating kinky from porn star-bawdy, it’s not about what you do, but how you do it.  Rather than simply purchasing some strappy leather get-up, introduce a trick you’ve never used before while in costume.  Keep the terrain fairly neutral: the element of surprise is way sexier than handcuffs and whips. Likewise, a striptease needn’t involve nipple tassels and feathery fans. Instead, slip on your favorite lacey bra and his white button down before giving him a night he’ll always remember. A balance of unpredictability and confidence can work wonders on your sex life.

Communication is key in all aspects of a relationship. If you’re nervous, talk about it before trying something crazy or outlandish. Don’t be afraid to open the floor to some fun suggestions; you might learn a lot about your partner.

Send your sexual conundrums to

sex@jerkmagazine.net

By Katie Lynn-Vecqueray

Let pessimism reign. The undeniably screwy past of the world is given its moment to shine in Martin Rowson’s F*ck: The History of the World in 65 Unfortunate Incidents. Unsurprisingly, the picture book examines Earth’s most monumental events and derives one sole reaction: fuck. Citing the crucifixion of Christ, the extinction of the dinosaurs, the atomic bomb, Newton’s Law of Gravity, and other essential benchmarks in the development of mankind, Rowson emphasizes the cynical and humorous nature of history’s true colors.

With each illustration on Earth’s historical timeline, the “glass is half-empty” theme creates a vantage point on the world with renovated despondency. We all love a book that makes us laugh, even when it defiles a religion or a renowned figurehead. I found it difficult to justify laughing at terrorism, but when an illustration depicted a terrorist struggling to unzip his coat for the bomb strapped to his chest, an uncomfortable chuckle escaped my better judgment. The satire and power of a good, old-fashioned “fuck” presents a rare appreciation of the catharsis that comes from a truly negative state of mind. Humanity is flawed, as is the world we inhabit. We may as well focus on the debilitation of natural laws as a way to remedy our damaged spirits.

To the average Ramen-dependent college student, giving away money seems unthinkable. Throwing your friend a five for the keg or a 10 for the concert ticket he spotted you can be a struggle at times, but what about 53 grand? If this amount shocks you, it shouldn’t. Each year we blindly fork this over to the university for “tuition.” Assume all of this is going toward your education? Think again.

Illustration by Sabrina Har-Dof

Chancy Nancy recently had her hand in the “university’s” cookie jar and she’s been pretty generous handing out the treats. In fact, Cantor recently took 2.5 million dollars from the jar and handed it over to municipal services in downtown Syracuse. In other words, that’s the price of making sure our shit flushes smoothly and our streets stay clean. Surprised? It gets worse. Because the university devours so much of the city’s tax-exempt property, Cantor made an additional agreement to cut the city a $500,000 check for the next five years as an allowance for whatever Mayor Stephanie Miner stipulates.

Believe it or not, the idea of universities giving money to the cities that house them is not revolutionary. Yale gives New Haven $7.5 million annually, and Brown gives Providence $1.2 million. Like Syracuse, cities harboring universities have accepted the cash. The difference? The student bodies of those schools were aware of the agreements.

I’m proud of the fact that our university is cognizant of the struggles that the city of Syracuse faces. Sadly, this internal altruism vanishes when I try to figure out where the money for the city is coming from. Surely all those late library fees and lost keys aren’t paying for this, are they?

You can bet SU won’t miss a beat about your upcoming Bursar payment. In fact, you may not be able to register for classes if you don’t pony up the money in time. So, why should we let Chancy off easy for throwing around our hard-earned dough?

Regardless of sounding like a selfish snob who could care less about the community that surrounds our comfy quad of learning, stop giving out our money, Nancy. We first need the hard data behind what portion of our money is going back into our education and which part solely benefits the city of Syracuse. For now, I find solace knowing that my money may have helped a Daisy Duke’s patron flush her friend’s vomit as she held back her hair.

By Ashley Collman

If you’re a senior like me, chances are the “g-word” comes up a lot in conversations these days. My parents, professors, and fellow seniors want to know what I’ll do after I graduate. As if there isn’t enough pressure entering the job market in a recession, every time I open a paper there’s another article reminding me just how unprepared my generation is for the task.

These articles, written mostly by Gen Xers and Baby Boomers, complain more about our generation than the actual jobs crisis. They throw around a lot of statistics and a few stories about college graduates moving back in with their parents and squandering their educations on bartending jobs.

Because these writers are so much older, they can’t empathize with the college grads they interview. They call us the “Peter Pan” generation, but miss the biggest point.

We 20-somethings don’t cling to adolescence—we’re trapped in Neverland. The economic downturn is not our fault, and job placement is out of our control.

The treatment of real college graduates falls flat in these articles. If it’s not the grads’ fault that they’re jobless, then why do these Gen X writers make their lives seem so sad? If they’re continuing to do the best they can, it should be a testament to our generation’s resilience.

One example of this trend is “Generation Limbo: Waiting it Out” by Jennifer Lee, published in The New York Times. The article essentially says that Millenials don’t care enough about their futures, by showing how happy some college grads are with low-wage jobs. Stephanie Kelly, a class of ’09 University of Florida graduate, couldn’t find a career in advertising so she now balances two jobs unrelated to her major. Her outlook on life is optimistic: “I can cook and write at my own pace…I kind of like that about my life.” Lee, however, took what was an admirable positive attitude and turned it into a condescending dissmissal. Lee writes “…[I]s Ms. Kelly stressed out about the lack of a career path she spent four years preparing for? Not at all.” While Ms. Kelly isn’t exactly working her dream job, she’s hardly following a careerless path. She realizes the job market isn’t in her favor, and instead of remaining idle, she’s doing something. She’s just on an alternative career trajectory.

Apparently this optimism worries the older generation. Judith Warner interviewed nine students in “The Why-Worry Generation” for  The New York Times Magazine. She was surprised at the amount of positivity she found; “Many were jobless, others were dissatisfied with their work or graduate-school choices, yet they didn’t blame themselves if life failed to meet their expectations.” Warner seems to suggest that this is a flaw, but I don’t see how pessimism would be constructive. Negativity doesn’t solve problems.

I’m surprised that the Millennial job crisis is viewed through such a negative and melodramatic lens. Even if I don’t get a job right out of college, that doesn’t make me a failure. I’m still a part of the privileged 6.7 percent of the world with a college degree.  I, like my peers, will persevere and find a place for myself in the adult world. Success isn’t measured by how closely you follow the path plotted out on your diploma. In fact, I don’t think real life success will have much to do with my career at all.

Photography by Taylor Miller

By Daniel Taroy

When Angelique Mango travels to India, she teaches street children how to sew and hand-stitch items like those found in her store. She was on one of her trips when she decided to open Way Off the Beaten Path, an Armory Square boutique. “I wanted to give back to India,” she said. “This is what supports them to eat.” Her own print-and-jewelry-making skills combine education with exploration: from her Pratt Institute bachelor’s and two masters’ degrees from Syracuse University and University of the Andes in Colombia, to her travels across the Virgin Islands and Asia. Between traveling and managing her shop and studio, Angelique gave us a look at her vibrant space.

LOTUS NECKLACE AND EARRINGS: "The lotus is pure, so that's why I re-create the lotus flower. I add the pearl for self-love."

PRINTING BLOCK AND SARONG: "This is one of the things I teach and work with. This is a block. It's carved, and this one is paisley. What we do is we block print with this, and then you have a garment. This is how they're all made."

COLORFUL GARMENTS: "I'm an artist, I live in a sea of color. I think color is very healing. People need to be surrounded by and wear more color. We really have to change our energy right now and where we are. Color is critical."

Illustration by Cameron Morgan

By Kirstie Pena

It’s no secret that environmental issues are on the forefront of the nation’s agenda. From the energy saving LED light bulbs to water-conserving Brita filters, environmental focus has permeated our consumer culture. Now, the Boston-based burrito chain Boloco has jumped on the bandwagon. Anyone who orders a smoothie, soda, or drink of water from Boloco will receive the following message with their beverage: “This cup grew up in Blair, Nebraska. It’s made entirely of corn.”

Since releasing its corn cups, Boloco has garnered recognition for its forward thinking environmentalism. Time to fill up these corn cups with booze and celebrate. Oh, and after, we’ll create a colossal pile of trash and dump the whole mess in the garbage. Great solution.

Yeah, these bad boys may completely decompose in less than 150 days under commercial composting conditions, but we’re creating waste nonetheless. We shouldn’t be making new kinds of plastic when we’re still throwing away thousands of tons of its older model on a daily basis.

Although people have focused more on being eco-friendly, we’re clearly doing a half-hearted job. According to the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), the amount of waste has increased from less than 1 percent in 1960 to 12 percent in 2008 and keeps growing.

Rather than spending so much time, energy, and money creating little biodegradable corn packages, we should focus on reducing waste created by packaging. It may seem unrealistic at first, but long-term solutions should include laws that will limit the amount of trash thrown away. After the limit is passed, the offending company should either pay a fine or develop strategies that reduce the amount of waste created. Laws should also force consumers to bring their own reusable to-go containers wherever they order fast food. I mean, it works in Ernie Davis.

People who consider themselves environmentally aware should analyze their actions and see if they’re actually making smart decisions or just jumping on the latest environ-trend designed to guiltlessly burn through plastics. So the next time you give yourself a pat on the back for drinking out of a cup made of corn, consider ditching the cup altogether. Instead, grab your “Syracuse University Food Services” water bottle from freshman year—you still have that, right?

TOP TRACK: “ta da”

BOTTOM TRACK: “DTF DADT”

3 Nancies

Album Release Date: September 27, 2011

On their second full-length album, fantastically titled Everything Is Boring & Everyone Is A Fucking Liar, underground rapper and producer duo Spank Rock sticks to their usual bouncy brand of audacious boom-bap sex rap. The lyrics are typically hypersexual, as in “Race Riot’s” befuddling chorus: “Shake it ’til my dick turns racist.” With their idiosyncratic shtick, the duo’s over-reliance on hollow, sex-fueled punch lines is ultimately their downfall. Still, this album offers bright spots of sultry melody and fleshed-out production. Everything Is Boring & Everyone Is A Fucking Liar may not be the most diverse album, but one thing is for sure—Spank Rock sure loves to fuck.

The edgy stoner from your high school math class is no longer the only one listening to indie music. In fact, alternative rock’s cousin has completed the journey from your skeevy local venue to the commercial realm—literally.

For many indie musicians, licensing songs and commercials has become trendy. But in doing so, the bands have labeled themselves with the Scarlet Letter of the music industry—”S” for sell-out.
Musicians are as much capitalistic as they are artistic, and businesses need money to grow. However, with many “customers” consuming music for free through illegal downloading, artists must seek other channels for profit.

Indie musicians should be aware of the product the ad promotes, but licensing music exposes up-and-coming bands without forcing image alterations. After all, one sit-down with an advertising exec is much less painful than throwing demo after demo at producers only interested in crafting a Top-40 hit.

I’m sure Jónsi of Sigur Rós didn’t write “Go Do” for the 2011 Ford Explorer. Still, just because his track was in that commercial doesn’t mean he’ll make songs to promote mid-sized SUVs for the rest of his career. When The Shins licensed “New Slang” to McDonalds, longtime fans lamented and criticized their decision. Turns out the band used that money to build a home studio. That’s called business strategy, not selling out.

Advertisers and musicians have similar goals when it comes to impacting their audiences. Whether you’re selling sneakers or selling emotions, the ultimate goal is creating a visceral response in under two minutes. Previously unheard quality tracks accomplish that while benefitting the artist.

Animal Collective shouldn’t camp outside of Saatchi & Saatchi begging for company licensing, but we should relax on the name-calling, especially if we’re guilty of an illegal download or two ourselves. We’re all trying to follow our passions, and if we make money off of them, that’s just an added bonus.

So the next time you hear Yael Naim, Foster the People, or Matt White juxtaposed with an iPod, Nissan Versa Sedan, or Big Mac, don’t be so quick to judge. Because with each “Who sings that song in that one commercial?” text you send, these artists have succeeded.

TOP TRACK: “weekend”

BOTTOM TRACK: “all the saints”

4 Nancies

Album Release Date: October 18, 2011

Class Actress’ Rapprocher is a time machine straight to the 80s, and I mean that in the best way possible. With no-nonsense lyrics and palpable synths, this album will make you bust out your spandex and shoulder pads. The electro-pop trio’s EP Journal of Ardency gave a good taste of what this debut LP would entail. Yet, Class Actress shows maturity with standout singles like “Weekend” and “Keep You.” Rapprocher‘s vibrant sound swirls with melancholy lyrics to provide the perfect balance between joy and despondency. Its essence, while seemingly Madonna-inspired, remains effortlessly original.

Photo by Taylor Miller

By Kelly Peters

I can’t help but notice your rings, especially the one of the bear.

I don’t feel fully dressed if I’m not wearing earrings or rings. This bear ring is definitely my favorite. I bought it in Hampton Beach, N.H., which is the New England equivalent of the Jersey Shore. I’m pretty sure it was intended for a dude. I get a lot of compliments on it—my favorite was when Anthony Green from Circa Survive told me it was awesome.

What’s the story behind the tattoos?

The tattoo on my arm says, “Live free or die, kid.” “Live free or die” is the New Hampshire state motto, but I would have gotten it even if I weren’t from N.H. I added the “kid” as a sort of reference to Humphrey Bogart’s “Here’s looking at you, kid.” I know a lot of people with “Live free or die” tattooed on them, and I wanted it to be more personal for me.

I like the hummingbird next to it.

I have no idea why I have that. I’m going to change it to a great white shark…somehow.

Your outfit’s pretty un-definable.

I borrow from a lot of different ideas. I wouldn’t say I have a definite style because I feel like I wear a lot. Right now fashion is really geared toward bringing back the greatest trends from the 70s, 80s, and 90s, and I am so down for that.  If I see a certain style I admire from a different decade or a different part of the world, I tend to take notes and sort of mix that in with my own style.

I hear you have a pen name.

A lot of people like my last name, but I’m not really feeling using it professionally.  A few years ago I came up with a pen name that I intend to use with my film work, artwork, writing, etc.  I don’t normally give it out because it allows me a certain anonymity when I blog about stupid shit.  Right now I’m working on a pop culture blog called “This Bitch” where I might use another pen name. Who knows. I’m just not trying to be “Pimpis” for the rest of my life.

I really love your dress.

People always ask me—why are you so dressed up? But this is just how I always dress. I actually don’t wear pants that often. I try to stay away from pants, unless I have to.

TOP TRACK: “it’s up there”

BOTTOM TRACK: “then it’s white”

1 1/2 Nancies

Album Release Date: October 10, 2011

After 70 minutes of what sounds like the same song played over and over again, Looping State of Mind perfectly describes The Field’s latest offering. While this fluidity makes for an easy listening experience at first, it’s just boring by the fourth track. True, the electro band breaks free from this monotonous pattern occasionally, with tracks like “It’s Up There;” the quick staccato rhythm making you feel like a warrior king riding bareback in the desert. But sleepy, stream-of-consciousness tracks rear their drowsy heads far too often, reducing any illusions of conquest to a game of chess between two geezers. There’re also about 10 words in the whole album, leaving little to pick through in an already baren product.

TOP TRACK: “Midnight City”
BOTTOM TRACK: “Raconte-Moi Une Histoire”

4 1/2 Nancies

Illustration by Molly Snee

Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming is like an hour and a half of lucid dreams. The intro track alone spans more than five minutes, increasing its powerful layers with each line. At the climax, fellow goth-pop master Zola Jesus joins in for an explosion of lyrical and instrumental exchanges. The album’s single, and most dazzling song, “Midnight City”, follows with its eruptive chorus of falsetto shouting, ending with a triumphant sax solo. Then there’s “Claudia Lewis,” mimicking the disco-gaze M83 sound originally trademarked by its precursor “Kim and Jessie.” Each breakdown initiates the “Oh shit, is this real?” syndrome (aka the LSD effect), building into angelic shoe-gaze riffs that come in waves, gathering a steam that leaves you high off of aural vapors. Years in the making, Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming is a twenty-two track-journey through the brighter times in the darkness.

TOP TRACK: “High Low middle”

BOTTOM TRACK: “She does not brave the war”

3 1/2 Nancies

Album Release Date: October 18, 2011

In My Brightest Diamond’s latest release, All Things Will Unwind, the indie rock band invites listeners into a fanciful world where age-old questions of love and life are expressed through lead singer Shara Worden’s operatic vocals and a distinctive flute and string section. “High Low Middle,” an upbeat track about the inequalities among social classes, reflects the album as a whole. All Things Will Unwind is a perfectly measured blend of jazz and folk beats with vocals that speak to socially relevant issues that’ll have you humming your heart out during your next poli sci lecture.

Jerk honors National Angel Food Cake Day with a delicious Angel Food Trifle, paired with a refreshing Strawberry Rum Smoothie

For those of you who didn’t know, October 10^th is National Angel Food Cake Day (for those of you who were aware… that’s odd)! Instead of all that rich, heavy, autumn food, we’re going to change it up with a light Strawberry Angel Food Trifle. Fresh berries, spongy cake, lemon yogurt and flaked coconut make for a delicious (and low-calorie) treat! Pair it with a tangy vodka fruit smoothie and you’re good to go. Goodbye fall, hello tropical paradise!

Strawberry Angel Food Trifle

2 ½ cups angel food cake, cubed

1 tbsp orange juice

4 oz. lemon yogurt (about half of a standard-sized yogurt cup)

1 cup whipped cream

1 ½ cups sliced strawberries

1 tbsp coconut flakes

1. In a glass bowl or large cup, pour angel food cake cubes as a base layer

2. Pour the orange juice over the cubes, letting them soak up the flavor

3. Mix the yogurt and ¾ cup of whipped cream together, and spoon over the cake

4. Pour the strawberry slices on top

5. Garnish with whipped cream and coconut flakes (for added flair, toast the coconut flakes briefly in the oven!)

Vodka Fruit Smoothie

5 tbsp vodka

½ cup orange juice

¼ cup strawberries

½ cup ice

1 scoop ice cream (vanilla or fruit-flavored)

1. Combine all ingredients in a blender and mix until well incorporated.

Enjoy!

photo credit: myfrugaladventures.com

Sunday, October 30| A state of emergency was declared in 13 New York counties as the wrath of winter storm Alfred paralyzed transportation, while Syracuse didn’t receive a single flake. Enjoy it now kids, because that probably won’t be the case ever again.

And just when you thought Americans couldn’t get any fatter, the National Confectioner’s Association stated that candy sales in America hit a new record this Halloween.

Monday, October 31| To celebrate Halloween, Google’s doodle featured a time-lapse pumpkin carving video. Some of the pumpkins carved weighed over 1,000 pounds. We get it, Google, you’re huge.

photo credit: accesshollywood.com

Kim Kardashian not only filed for divorce from husband Kris Humphries, she did the unthinkable and unfollowed him on Twitter. The nerve. This clearly is serious now.

Tuesday, November 1| In other superficial celebrity news, Jessica Simpson announced via Twitter she was going to be a “mummy.”

A couple of banks have been dropping debit card purchasing fees. Finally, they realize people don’t like to pay to spend their own money.

photo credit: epluribusmoron.wordpress.com

Wednesday, November 2| People of Oakland, CA traveled back in time to the site of the general strikes of 1946. Thousands of residents, students, and professionals rallied with Occupy Oakland against the transit of cargo.

Ever have a hard time finding that one email you sent? Google revamped its mail homepage this week allowing users to manage chain messages more easily.

Thursday, November 3| Lady Gaga announced the birth of her Born This Way Foundation. Gaga hopes this organization will “lead youth into a braver new society where each individual is accepted and loved as the person they were born to be.”

A new study released states that high alcohol intake might cause breast cancer. As if that report will stop you from taking an extra shot at Chuck’s tonight…

Photos by: Mary E. O'Brien

Just a few years ago, a drug house occupied the corner of  Tully and Oswego Streets in Syracuse’s West Side. Guns and marijuana populated the space—mere yards from the neighborhood middle school and a community park across the street. But today, the reconstructed house stands as a hub for art, education, and community involvement.

From fall 2009 until the location’s opening this past June, Syracuse University students rebuilt the house’s structure and reputation through “Social Sculpture: 601 Tully,” a class led by Marion Wilson, associate professor in the College of Visual and Performing Arts and founder of 601 Tully. “I remember being in it when it was a cold shell of a building with holes in the floors,” recalls Samantha Harmon, a 2009 SU graduate and research fellow at 601 Tully, as she flips through old pictures of the once-decrepit house. Harmon has worked at 601 Tully since the start of the project.

When Wilson began teaching “Social Sculpture: 601 Tully” in the building a few years ago, the class occasionally met throughout the semester inside the boarded up space. “The neighbors would say, ‘Even though you’re here during the day, it’s still a drug house at night, you know,’” Wilson says.

The building’s light blue siding hides its dark history. In 2009, two larcenies, two burglaries, an aggravated assault, and a case of arson occurred on the 600 and 700 blocks of Tully Street, according to the Onondaga County Reported Crimes database. Now, a well-kept community garden surrounds the wooden ramp that leads to the entrance. Inside, silence fills the air along with the aroma of coffee emanating from Café Kubal.  The Syracuse franchise, which specializes in hand-brewed beans, opens at 7 a.m. and closes at 3 p.m. Monday through Saturday, and 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. on Sundays. 601 Tully has seating available on the first floor, along with free wireless Internet. There’s also a Connective Corridor bus stop across the street and street parking available next to the building.

The second floor reveals the building’s classroom and meeting space. Near the center of the room, several chairs and ten filing cabinets pushed together form desks, creating a makeshift meeting area. The floor holds book and poetry readings, an adult nutrition class—held this fall—and various other workshops and meetings.

Although 601 Tully is a public space, few drop in, says Stephen Walton, a 22-year-old college graduate who works at Café Kubal and lives on the West Side. Kids from Blodgett Elementary School on Oswego Street curiously wander in before or after school. “I think a lot of people don’t even know what we are yet in the neighborhood,” Wilson says. “They think, ‘Oh, it’s a nice house or something, or a house with a nice ramp.’”

Wilson hopes this isn’t the case for too long.  She wants the neighborhood to ultimately sustain the building—a space she has written 14 grant proposals for and has been working on for the past few years.

“I love being in that building and in the neighborhood, and that certainly wasn’t the case before,” Wilson says. “It’s a really welcoming, warm space.”

Cause of Death: Netflix

By Riyana Straetker

Blame falls on instant streaming and Redbox one-night rentals for ending the video store trips that were once a weekend staple. With cheap-as-Keystone prices and catering to people’s laziness, Netflix and co. have irrevocably killed the rental store.

We mourn the loss of these iconic staples that were home to random indie flicks and curtained porn sections. Gone is the comfort of watching your movie all the way through, sans the annoying Megavideo 72-minute time limit. Your favorite checkout clerk—you know, the one with the best recommendations—is gone too. And no online downloading can beat the thrill of getting that one new release free, even if you had to rent two shitty movies along with it.

As the lives of video stores end, think back upon the endless candy offerings, oversized popcorn tubs, and second-hand VHS purchases—that is, while you’re waiting for your movie to load.

photo credit: zazzle.com

By Lindsay Dolak

In honor of Halloween weekend coming to an end, here’s an article about sluts and whores. Yup, here’s looking at you girls!

Urban Dictionary defines a “slut” as “a woman that enjoys performing sexual acts with multiple partners,” or “a woman who sleeps with many men.” Generally speaking, very accurate definitions. However, how does the definition change when defined by a girl? Allow me. For the sake of the argument, we’ll call the slutty girl, ‘Girl B,’ and the girl calling her out at a party, ‘Girl A.’ Girl B, the “slut,” as defined by Girl A, is another girl who is prettier, possibly thinner, maybe hooked up with Girl A’s boyfriend, generally gets more male attention, and looks better in that skin tight American Apparel dress than Girl A. It’s like a degrading math problem.

Let me introduce myself: I’m Girl B. I have been called a slut more than once in my life by other girls probably for reasons similar to those in the definition above. Shout out to all the girls who just called me a hypocrite, but let me finish (pun intended?). I’m also Girl A. I have called other persons of my gender similar derogatory names and, I’m willing to admit, that I’ve probably only been justified in doing so a few times.

How can that be? Well, chances are that four out of every five girls I have ever called a slut or a whore would not fit Urban Dictionary’s definition. These girls don’t get with every guy that solicits them on the weekends. They don’t have countless sexual partners. Hell, some of them might even be virgins. Why are they sluts then? Because they were prettier than me, they were getting more attention than me; they got with the guy I wanted to get with. The actual reasons don’t matter. The fact is that girls call each other these names out of insecurity, jealousy or you name the character flaw. Sorry to say it, but it’s the truth. If you’re a girl and you can honestly say that you don’t agree a little bit, then who’s the hypocrite now?

Ms. Norbury, the high school calculus teacher in the movie Mean Girls, said it best: “You all have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It just makes it okay for guys to call you sluts and whores.” We open up the name-calling platform to our opposing gender when we partake in the ridiculous and derogatory actions ourselves. What would Elizabeth Ann Seton think of our woman-bashing behavior?

I’m not requesting that we all band together in a feminist sweep to end the degradation of girls and I’m not asking anyone to fake friendliness to a girl they might dislike, but before you waste your breath calling someone a slut, whore, skank, or all of the above, recall the last time a girl called you one of the above names and how you probably laughed it off, thinking of her as jealous or threatened by you. Chances are, you’ll still call out Girl B. At least you’ll be one step closer to admitting she most likely falls into my personal statistic: she is one of the four out of five girls of which your words truly do not apply.

photo credit: chelos.com

By Allison Joy

With Halloweekend 2011 coming to a close, it’s time to work off the calories in the kitchen and repurpose those bags of candy. Instead of binge-eating all of your chocolate bars, turn them into a delicious (and easy to make) Twix Cheesecake guaranteed to impress your friends. Pair it with an orange juice and Whipped Pinnacle vodka for a Creamsicle Cocktail. Bon appétit!

Twix Cheesecake:

16 oz. cream cheese
½ cup white sugar
2 eggs
3 cups chopped Twix bars
1 pie crust (cookie or graham cracker)

1. With an electric mixer, combine cream cheese, sugar and eggs. Mix in 2 cups of chopped Twix bars and pour into pie crust.

2. Bake at 325 degrees for 45 minutes. Let cool and sprinkle with remaining cup of Twix bars.

Creamsicle Cocktail

4 oz Whipped Pinnacle vodka
1 ½ cups orange juice

1. Combine ingredients and serve chilled.

photo credit: http://blog.syracuse.com

By Victoria Troxler

I was completely unfamiliar with the concept of seasons until I attended Syracuse. As a native of Southern California, the occasional El Nino was the only season I ever experienced. At the very worst the temperature fell to an unbearable 40 degrees…in the morning. So when I saw orange and red leaves for the first time, I became a sucker for fall. It personally reminds me that the holidays are just around the corner, and that the Starbucks holiday drinks are finally here.

However, fall can also become very depressing. The sun starts to take a small siesta from the sky for several months, and the longing for winter break can be unbearable. Take advantage of these autumn activities before all the pretty leaves turn brown and the sky becomes gray for what feels like eternity. Keep in mind, all of these pastimes can be enhanced with a few festive shots of caramel vodka.

Hiking

If you’re an outdoorsy type, then this is right up your alley. Weather permitting, grab your camera and a few friends and hit the trails. The gorges of Ithaca and hills of local apple farms are gorgeous places to trek.

Cooking

If you’re a freshman skip this item. Those of you with a kitchen, channel your inner Martha Stewart and start baking. Invite some friends over, pop a bottle and bake. All apartments smell better when filled with the aroma of spice cake and pumpkin bread. Always remember to check out the Bite and Sip column for fresh fall recipes.

Apple Picking

There are about a hundred apple farms around here, and there’s nothing better than apple picking on a bright and brisk fall afternoon. But don’t stop there: a bunch of farms have weekend festivities like corn mazes, pumpkin picking, apple canons, and wagon rides.  The admission price is almost nothing, and if you’re not so savvy in the kitchen they have bakeries with delicious apple pies and treats for sale.

Decorate

I’m big fan of scents and decoration to bring the nostalgia of holidays at home. Grab some inexpensive candles and other knick-knacks from CVS and decorate your apartment a little. A beautiful apartment is a happy apartment.

photo credit: blog.twomangoes.com

People often know when a person is into them, but what if a person isn’t having dirty, sexual thoughts about you? Even though we like thinking they are, here are some signs that they aren’t.

Pulling In

An interested guy spreads his arms to look “huge” (wink), while an interested girl puts her arms behind her to “open herself up” and to push her assets forward. Anyone not interested keeps to themselves: arms against the sides means they aren’t feeling it, leaning back slightly means the two of you just aren’t clicking. If a person puts a physical “barrier” between the two of you, then he or she really wants you to back off. Some barrier examples include arms, a drink, or the classic “L” hand symbol on the forehead.

Look At Me, Damn It!

Anyone interested looks right in your eyes all the time, sometimes with the subconscious hope of seeing the rest of you. If his or her eyes are not undressing you, then back off. Other types of eye contact can send different messages: occasional eye contact is a greeting to the friends zone, rare eye contact shows you that he or she thinks of you as a stranger, staring at an attractive guy or girl behind you is, well, self-explanatory.

Crossing

If you see anything crossed, it’s a red flag. Crossing arms, legs, or any pair of body parts is a nonverbal “fuck off.” The worst move your significant other can make is crossing their wrists or arms over their lap. They’re physically protecting their “home base” from you. Doesn’t get more clear than that.

Not Really Looking at You

If someone looks directly at you when speaking, be wary. They may be putting up a front. What you need to check is the waist, toes, or chest for the true message. If her or she is talking and facing you, but the rest of his or her body faces towards your wingman/woman, then unfortunately, your crush is interested in your friend. Give up and let the two of them flirt, or risk walking in on them after they “accidentally” jumped into your bed. Then nobody wins, least of all your sheets.

photo credit: standeyo.com

By Victoria Troxler

As the weather changes and turns Syracuse into a real hell-hole, it makes certain activities incredibly daunting. For instance, class just doesn’t seem that appealing when it’s cold and rainy. In fact, I’m writing this mid-skip of my class. The cold mist outside is, quite frankly, a little intimidating. Forget the gym, it’s fucking freezing. But are you really going to give up binge drinking? Hell no! We have a reputation to live up to as the number 12 party school in the nation. Don’t let the cold weather frighten you. Simply follow my dos and don’ts and you’ll be warm and drunk all winter.

DO dress for the weather. You may not look too sexy, but jackets are completely necessary when it’s snowing or raining. Pile on the layers and simply shed your cozy cocoon once you arrive at your destination. Girls, don’t wear heels when it’s snowing. They are not ice picks.

DON’T leave your coat unattended. I’m sure you all know at least one friend who’s had their coat snagged at Chuck’s; don’t be next. If you see a pile of 90 jackets, ignore the urge to join the pack. Hold onto your coat, or find a very creative place to hide it. With that being said, if you’re shitfaced, send yourself a text to remind yourself where you hid it.

DON’T pass out outside. When it’s negative 10 degrees, you will die. Though benches may look like a comfy futon when you’re blacked out, it’s in your best interest to make it to some sort of shelter.

DON’T drink more to keep yourself warm. First off, it doesn’t work. Secondly, you’ll land yourself in a world of shit with the university. Feel free to drink enough for one protective “drunk blanket,” but don’t drink enough for 10 of them.

photo credit: flykidcosta.blogspot.com

By Drew Muller

I doubt the names Larry Page and Sergey Brin ring any bells. They were just Stanford University Ph.D. students who decided to begin a research project that would revolutionize the way we navigate the vast frontier of the Internet. This little project, conducted on the side of their studies, is infinitely more recognizable than the men who brought it to life. We use it every day to find the answers to the world’s most enduring questions, such as “Why is my poop green?” and the exact gender specification of Lady Gaga. Page and Brin, better known as “The Google Guys,” gave us the cure-all to any and every query we might have, and seven years after Google’s public inception, it’s stronger than ever.

The company’s former unofficial slogan is “Don’t be evil,” and is probably unofficial for a good reason. The statement is a little chilling, almost as if Google is hiding something from us, perhaps masking malevolent motives behind a friendly face of easy browsing. It’s hard to think of Google as evil, with its innocent-looking bubble letters and cutesy homepage designs, but maybe that’s all part of the plot to cloak its yearning for global domination.

Google has been rapidly expanding, engulfing companies and expanding its scope at a blistering pace. It’s been in a deal-making frenzy, absorbing 57 companies and surpassing its 2010 record of 48 acquisitions—and it’s only October. The transactions, which total $1.4 billion in the first nine months of 2011, include Zagat, an online restaurant review site, Daily Deals, a discount site similar to Groupon, and ITA Software, a travel software company. Google only had to dish out pocket change and it can now tell us where to eat, what to buy, and how to travel.

Google has pervaded virtually every crevice of society, from social networking, with Google+, to wireless payments, with Google Wallet (set to be revealed some time this year) and even the automobile industry with its driverless car that could technically render humans unnecessary. Whether the Google Guys are determined to consolidate every conceivable type of technology for optimal access and ease or if they’re voraciously power-hungry still remains to be seen.

Google is a major part of our lives—no one can deny that, but let’s just pray its future developments don’t play out in an Orwellian fashion. Is Google going to take over the world, you ask? Well, I can’t tell you that, but I could always Google it.

Jerk Magazine Fall 2011 Launch Party from Alison Joy on Vimeo.

Jerk Magazine celebrates it’s first issue drop of the year at Funk n’ Waffles with musical performance by Aunt Martha

photo credit: fashionindie.com

By Lauryn Botterman

So you fancy yourself a sex god, eh? Can you make girls’ panties drop on command with just a suggestive sideways glance? Are you a lady in the streets, but a freak in the bed?

Or maybe not. Maybe you occasionally question your lovemaking skillz, or you’re a little self-conscious in the sack.

Whether you’re a well-versed veteran or a newbie in the bedroom, your preferred style of intercourse can reveal a lot about your character.

Rough Sex:

I’m talking hair-pulling, hold-me-down, sweat-drenched, harder baby!!, bruise-inducing rough. After the act, your friends are confused as to whether you just came from a nooky sesh or a boxing match. It hurts, but it’s hot! In your world, pain is pleasure, and if your partner is into that sort of thing too, it can get borderline violent. Using protection might also entail helmets and shin guards. S&M anyone?

If you like it rough, it’s possible that you’re aggressive or short-tempered. Using sex as an outlet for pent-up anger or tension can be extremely satisfying, so long as your bedmate is up for a wild ride. But you don’t have to be a maniac to appreciate a bout of rough sex now and then. Every relationship (or one night stand) needs a little variety to keep the fire going strong.  So wear those scratches, scars, and strangely placed hickies with pride: they say love is a battlefield, but your bed is where the combat really goes down.

Pornstar Sex:

If you’ve ever attempted to do it in reverse-cowgirl-pile-driver style, you might be spending a little too much time watching adult TV. Or maybe you legitimately enjoy contorting your body into shapes that only Olympic gymnasts can replicate. Porn-inspired sex positions can be lots of fun, but proceed with caution: one wrong thrust during your double-inverse-doggie romp and you could wind up with a dislocated pelvis. Ouch.

There’s nothing wrong with trying out some raunchy, kinky moves. And I’m willing to bet that it’s the people you’d least expect who are into the craziest shit: that shy girl in your bio class, the quiet guy who lives on your floor—behind closed doors, they’re probably bona fide sex machines searching for someone who can match their superior prowess. If you want to try something truly exotic and arousing, follow the advice of a wise man called Pitbull: fuck like a porn star. We can’t all be XXX icons, but we sure can pretend.

Awkward Sex:

Uhh…hmm …oh…oww…sorry…yea that’s good…wait, no, not there…

Sound familiar? We’ve all been there. Awkward sex is just… sloppy. Despite your mutual efforts—fumbling, groping, and repositioning— nothing seems to click. Whether he can’t get it up or can’t get it in, things could go downhill pretty fast. You might be inexperienced or just a little too drunk (newsflash: no one likes a whiskey dick). But think of this as a learning experience and vow to do better next time.

Sexy Sex:

Hot, steamy lovemaking à la Leo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet’s passionate sex scene in Titanic. Forget all that “wham, bam, thank you ma’am” fuckery—this is intimate, passionate, and even romantic. It might also involve scented candles, lingerie, Marvin Gaye, and chardonnay. You’re eager to please and you like to keep it classy. Kudos to you, my friend, for reaffirming that drunken, sub-par booty call sex is not the only option.

No Sex:

Sorry bud—looks like it’s you and your hand tonight.