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	<title>Jerk Magazine</title>
	<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net</link>
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		<title>Life, Arranged: Part Three</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Part Three
 Continued from Part Two: Better Luck Next Time

I am terrible.  Last night I went through my fathers e-mail account. I like to randomly check what my parents are up to because the search is on for not only me, but my siblings and my cousins.  I had noticed that my aunts [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/life-arranged/life-arranged-part-three.html</link>
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		<title>What is the &#8220;gay agenda?&#8221;</title>
		<description><![CDATA[It's about more than rainbows, show tunes and Rosie O'Donnell worshipers]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/pride-fever/what-is-the-gay-agenda.html</link>
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		<title>&#8220;Ladies&#8221; Arm Wrestling</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Bridezilla vs. Stilleto Southpaw throw down]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/greasy-pole/ladies-arm-wrestling.html</link>
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		<title>DIY or Die: How to Eat it</title>
		<description><![CDATA[How to wipe out in the snow without looking like a (complete) tool, courtesy of your favorite Jerk-ers, Kelsie Testa and Samantha Morgenstern. Sound effects by soundbible.com. Last five seconds by Aaron Freeder.]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/jerk-video/diy-or-die-how-to-eat-it.html</link>
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		<title>A Band of Gentlemen</title>
		<description><![CDATA[The Avett Brothers take the stage for a sold out show]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/bring-noise/a-band-of-gentlemen.html</link>
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		<title>Porn to be Wild</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Jerk takes you back to the humble beginnings of the world’s sexiest industry — and, no, we don’t mean strip-mining]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/jerkexplains/porn-to-be-wild.html</link>
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		<title>Limbo Skating</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Is this the future of Olympics? We hope not!]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/greasy-pole/limbo-skating.html</link>
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		<title>Unique, Chic, or Cheap</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Whether your wardrobe calls for something unique, chic, or cheap, Syracuse offers second-hand clothing shops for everyone.]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/jerk-wear/unique-chic-or-cheap.html</link>
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		<title>Life, Arranged: Better Luck Next Time</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Part Two
 Continued from Part One: The Visit

It took us almost an hour to reach their house.
I walked in and had no idea what to expect.  
A million thoughts rushed through my mind. Is he cute? What if he’s ugly?  What if I like him? What if I don’t? What if he likes [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/life-arranged/life-arranged-better-luck-next-time.html</link>
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		<title>Jackie Chan&#8217;s Steep Competition</title>
		<description><![CDATA[With karate kid moves, these athletes make climbing ladders look easy]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/greasy-pole/jackie-chans-steep-competition.html</link>
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		<title>Candy Hearts and Other Crap</title>
		<description><![CDATA[The history of Valentine's Day: the holiday that makes singles want to die]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/jerkexplains/candy-hearts-and-other-crap.html</link>
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		<title>An Ode to the Sailor Stripe</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Bowie rocked the sailor stripe in the '70s. Now it's back and you can make it look better]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/jerk-wear/an-ode-to-the-sailor-stripe.html</link>
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		<title>Trans Literature</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Greek mythology is riddled with trannies, but that's not the only lit in which these sexual revolutionaries appear]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/pride-fever/trans-literature.html</link>
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		<title>Athlete Accompaniments</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Athletes carry some creepy shit. Although who doesn't come prepared with weapons and condoms?]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/greasy-pole/athlete-accompaniments.html</link>
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		<title>Who let Dr. Dog out?</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Dr. Dog lights up the Westcott for a crowd of hipsters]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/bring-noise/who-let-dr-dog-out.html</link>
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		<title>More Than Mega</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Downhill sporting borders on insanity]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/greasy-pole/more-than-mega.html</link>
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		<title>Minding the Gap</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Valuable advice from a temporary Londoner]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/london/minding-the-gap.html</link>
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		<title>Life, Arranged: The Visit</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Part One

“We’re going to visit your aunt and uncle.”
“Why?”
“Because your Auntie knows lots of boys there for you.”
And the next thing I know, I’m packed into the car and cruising towards the “Land of Many Eligible Men.”
A measly five-hour car ride turned into seven as we were stuck in a traffic jam for about two [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/life-arranged/life-arranged-the-visit.html</link>
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		<title>Fur Real?</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Tom Huddleston, Jr. discovers a very hairy sub-culture that's not just about sex, but that only  diminishes the creep-factor by .08.]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/jerkexplains/fur-real.html</link>
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		<title>Same Sex Couples Demand Equal Rights</title>
		<description><![CDATA[The Federal government grants 1,138 benefits to married couples, but only defines marriage as between a man and a woman. Looks like the feds took a stand on gay marriage after all.]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/pride-fever/same-sex-couples-demand-equal-rights.html</link>
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		<title>A Style Tribute</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Mallory Passuite digs deep into the Underground archives of the 1970s to find fashionable Velvet.]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/jerk-wear/a-style-tribute.html</link>
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		<title>Exclusive Q&amp;A with DMB Guitarist</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Tim Reynolds answers Jerk&#8217;s questions on writing, inspiration, and going solo

In an office space above the Westcott Theater, Tim Reynolds explained that he can’t sit for fear of falling asleep. He had just woken up from a nap and struggled to stay awake as he sipped furiously on a cup of coffee from Recess Coffeehouse. [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/noise/exclusive-qa-with-dmb-guitarist.html</link>
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		<title>The D.O. Candle</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Best use for The D.O. ever...]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/gawk/the-daily-orange-candle.html</link>
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		<title>C2 Craft Chemistry</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Whether you're an amateur or an artiste, you'll find something to mix here.]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/gawk/c2-craft-chemistry.html</link>
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		<title>Close Encounters</title>
		<description><![CDATA[The hotbed of UFO sightings that is Central New York.

The appearance of a glowing fireball outside Eloise Boshers- Ross’ home interrupted her routine 44 years ago on an early November night.  The 41-year-old housewife and mother of three had never professed a belief in aliens or seen a flying saucer.  She had read [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/smut/close-encounters.html</link>
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		<title>One Hit Too Many..</title>
		<description><![CDATA[That last fix pushes you over the edge,
where reality ends and obscurity begins.
Stylists: Felicia Che, Courtney Zapor
Models: Renee Reizman, Stang Disayanon
Hair: Adam Mojamed
Make-up: Stephanie Aviles
All excess fabrics available for purchase at Feminine Touch Fabrics, 519 W. Fayette Street, Syracuse, NY
]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/gawk/one-hit-too-many.html</link>
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		<title>Jon Minus Kate Plus a Mad Man</title>
		<description><![CDATA[The Devolution of Man

 Jon and Kate Plus 8’s Jon Gosselin and Mad Men’s Don Draper constitute the proverbial yin and yang of men on television. Older generations of stoic womanizers like Draper draw more interest from women than today’s wussy grovelers like Gosselin. Men, we are losing our manliness. Welcome to the devolution of [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/bitch/jon-minus-kate-plus-a-mad-man.html</link>
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		<title>Spreading Christmas Conformity</title>
		<description><![CDATA[One Singular Rockette Sensation

The Radio City Rockettes help make every Christmas a white Christmas — just not in a way that brings about a warm fuzzy feeling as you sit by your fireplace. The 200 sparkly, short-skirted women run frantic circles around the stage in blissful euphoria. With mile-long legs and pasted-on smiles, they look [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/bitch/spreading-christmas-conformity.html</link>
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		<title>Corporate versus Public Power</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Corporations and the community vie for control of Syracuse’s electrical power.
Rachel May opens her energy bill every month with hesitation. She pays, on average, about $120 per month in the summer and around $220 during the harshest winter months in Syracuse. 
She makes a conscious effort to conserve energy by improving her home’s insulation, replacing [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/smut/corporate-versus-public-power.html</link>
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		<title>Local Music: The Fly</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Bandier meets drama, the musical marriage begets The Fly.

Spectators question whether to gleefully cheer on The Fly or to fear for their own safety as the duo performs. Keith Smith regularly wraps the mic chord around his neck, flailing his limbs, all while passionately singing, even shouting, the lyrics. Farasha Baylock spits rhymes furiously, dancing [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/noise/local-music-the-fly.html</link>
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		<title>How to Stage a Bed-in</title>
		<description><![CDATA[An excuse to stay in bed, as if you need one.]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/gawk/how-to-stage-a-bed-in.html</link>
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		<title>Inbred Central</title>
		<description><![CDATA[We here at Jerk magazine do not advise you to visit this place. Seriously. Keep your life.]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/smut/inbred-central.html</link>
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		<title>The Environment and a Girl&#8217;s Period</title>
		<description><![CDATA[What the Bloody Hell? Screw sustainability; keep your green garbage away from my vagina. 

I ordered some coffee at the local vegan cafe the other day and picked up a floral business card on display at the counter. I glanced at it while taking a sip of my steaming free-trade organic espresso and read: “Aunt [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/bitch/the-environment-and-a-girls-period.html</link>
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		<title>Dating with Depression</title>
		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;ll carry my own baggage, thanks.

Man — He’s Just Not that into You can’t even touch this. You know, the typical: girl meets boy, girl likes boy, boy likes girl, girl tells boy she has depression, boy runs like hell. OK, maybe not so typical. Ben Folds would’ve said “the bitch went nuts,” but I [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/bitch/dating-with-depression.html</link>
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		<title>Sex</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Cuddle bunnies and 2 hour sex sessions. Sign us up!]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/bitch/sex.html</link>
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		<title>Baring it all, Burlesque Style</title>
		<description><![CDATA[A Night with Trixie and her Dolls 

“I got to pee. This is so inconvenient it’s not even funny,” the seductress said to me backstage, moments before she steps out onto a makeshift stage in the lobby of the Hotel Utica.  
Flaunting eight-inch heels and an off-white bustled Victorian gown with a sleek, crimson [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/noise/baring-it-all-burlesque.html</link>
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		<title>Conservative is the New Liberal</title>
		<description><![CDATA[It&#8217;s time to convert

You may or may not know me as a former op-ed writer of The Daily Orange, hopelessly smitten with those Clinton charms, and vomiting Pinko nonsense like Lenin with a stomach bug. Please, disregard that unfortunate period of my life. My journalistic ego thrives on making strange noises that counter the mumbles [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/bitch/conservative-is-the-new-liberal.html</link>
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		<title>Sexting</title>
		<description><![CDATA[This is the new "it" thing, but we'd still like proper punctuation in our sexts. No "waht r u whering?" allowed.]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/gawk/sexting.html</link>
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		<title>Binghamton Art Crawl</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Art and booze lovers rejoice, this town's got it all]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/smut/binghamton-art-crawl.html</link>
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		<title>Reality Show Haters</title>
		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;d like to see you try.

Among a polluted sea of shitty, unintelligent reality shows stand a few gems that require the participants to possess a strong work ethic, actual skill, and extensive knowledge of more than just raunchy sex positions. I’m talking about smart, realistic reality shows with real people showing off real talent and [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/bitch/reality-show-haters.html</link>
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		<title>The Man Downtown</title>
		<description><![CDATA[An afternoon with Genuine Charlie Sam — shooting electric fire, speaking French, and creating art. 

Genuine Charlie Sam perches on a ladder in front of a huge mural of his name in old-fashioned circus-style writing. He shakes a can of spray paint. “It’s very important to proclaim one’s name. I’m Charlie Sam, by the way,” [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/noise/the-man-downtown.html</link>
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		<title>The Lovers of  Fashion</title>
		<description><![CDATA[We all have that piece in our wardrobe. We zip it up, pull it over, or button it down, and look like pure sex.  We orgasm, and for just one moment, everything goes blank.
Hair/Make-up: Ghislaine Leon
Models: Ethan Parisen, Avery Carter, Jacque Opirhory, Natalie Zadrozna, Lady Sara Jaclyn Armet, Samora Campbell
]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/gawk/the-lovers-of-fashion.html</link>
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		<title>How to Panhandle</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Learn how to make it through this depression because our parents' basements aren't going to cut it.]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/bitch/how-to-panhandle.html</link>
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		<title>Cover That Up</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Political fashion&#8217;s desexualization.

Michelle Obama’s knees are Britney Spears’ vagina. Or at least they unleashed the same media frenzy.
The first lady stepped off Air Force One wearing Bermuda shorts to go hiking with her family, and it was as shocking as a booze-marinated pop star wielding her gaping birth canal to the paparazzi. “She looked fine. [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/bitch/cover-that-up.html</link>
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		<title>Desira Pesta</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Fashion designer and 2006 Syracuse University alum.

After completing four years on the Hill, Desira Pesta lives the creative life in the Big Apple sketching, sewing, and stitching. Taking a break from establishing her name in the fashion industry, she reflects on the people, moments, and inspirations that influenced who she is today.
Jerk Magazine: When you [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/gawk/desira-pesta.html</link>
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		<title>Snuggies</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Don't hate. You know you want a blanket with sleeves.]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/gawk/snuggies.html</link>
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		<title>I&#8217;m Not Gay</title>
		<description><![CDATA[And I hate you for asking.

All the trivial hetero bitches looking for a gay best friend ask me if I suck dick so often that sometimes I think I do. I have no qualms with gay people, nor do I intend to offend anyone, but it is so annoying to be asked on a daily [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/bitch/im-not-gay.html</link>
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		<title>The Genisys of Rap</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Two student em-cees plan a guerrilla takeover.]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/noise/the-genisys-of-rap.html</link>
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		<title>No Vacancy</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Troubled youth flood Syracuse&#8217;s juvenile prison system.

At first glance, teenager Janiese Flagg looks like any other high school senior. Flagg, a senior at Syracuse&#8217;s Nottingham High School, goes to classes, hangs out with friends, and applies to colleges in her spare time. But six years ago, Flagg’s future wasn’t as promising.
Her middle school suspended her [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/smut/no-vacancy.html</link>
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		<title>Sk8 Shelf</title>
		<description><![CDATA[You're probably better at letting your books get dusty on a shelf than sk8ing anyway.]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/gawk/sk8-shelf.html</link>
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		<title>Brew and View 35mm Film Series</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Alcohol + Dinosaurs + Big Screen. You are so missing out.]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/gawk/brew-and-view-35mm-film-series.html</link>
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		<title>Pagan Pride</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Members of Central New York’s LGBT community find a safe haven in Paganism.

John Crandall woke up every day on a Westcott Street bench. For three months, the 16-year-old sat on the sidewalk homeless and cold. 
After one rainy night, Crandall, in pajama pants and a T-shirt, stirred in his sleep as a woman wearing a [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/smut/pagan-pride.html</link>
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		<title>The Low Down on the Get Down</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Advice on fellatio from Jerk. Yeah, we know what to do.]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/bitch/the-low-down-on-the-get-down-2.html</link>
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		<title>You Are SO Gay</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Because "gay" clearly means "retarded"]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/pride-fever/you-are-so-gay.html</link>
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		<title>A Timeless Peace</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Alana Epstein&#8217;s Peace Bracelets

The most popular way to support world peace is the two-finger peace sign, but Alana Epstein’s collection of Peace Bracelets is a more stylish way to wear your political statement.
Epstein works freshwater pearls, turquoise, glass beads and semi-precious stones onto wire, suede or ribbon to create the world famous sign for peace.
“I [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/gawk/a-timeless-peace.html</link>
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		<title>Give ‘Em Something to Talk About</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Sex stimulates the advertising world as media regulations wane

A sexually charged billboard hung high above New York City’s SoHo. It featured a female model lying on a boy as she kissed a second male. All three wear only Calvin Klein jeans, no shirts. Another male model lies on the floor with his shirt and pants [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/smut/give-%e2%80%98em-something-to-talk-about.html</link>
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		<title>Americans Do Halloween Best</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Americans take a day to celebrate the souls of the dead and turn it into a display of one of the deadly sins.]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/jerkexplains/americans-do-halloween-best.html</link>
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		<title>Mongolia Is More Than Barbecue</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Culture Corner

A country isn’t very well known when nobody knows where it is, what the people look like, or anything else in between. Student response ranged from: “I’m getting an Indian, Spanish feeling and I don’t know why” to “P.F. Chang’s Mongolian Beef is the best ever.” Let’s hope this Culture Corner is enlightening enough [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/smut/mongolia-is-more-than-barbeque.html</link>
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		<title>Do Ask, Do Tell</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Lt. Daniel Choi Speaks for National Coming Out Month

So many gays packed into one church, and the only one on fire was Lt. Daniel Choi.
The walls of Hendricks Chapel echoed with the rallying boom of Choi’s voice on Thursday for the Syracuse University LGBT Resource Center’s annual Coming Out Month lecture.
The Army lieutenant shared his [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/pride-fever/do-ask-do-tell.html</link>
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		<title>Practice Makes Perfect</title>
		<description><![CDATA[No Photoshop Necessary

Achieving a flawless complexion and the perfect smoky eye is not as easy as the simple touch of a Laura Mercier makeup brush; just ask anyone well versed in Photoshop of the art of airbrushing. Come on, Megan Fox is hot, but not flawless.
Stef Stretch, a junior communications design major, explained that learning [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/gawk/practice-makes-perfect.html</link>
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		<title>Girl Talk Chats it Up With JERK</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Juice Jam Interview

At the finale of Juice Jam 2009, SU students struggled to shift rage-gears in the middle of the day, leading to the most awkward dance party any of us Jerks have ever experienced.  Gregg Gillis, aka Girl Talk, didn’t seem too fazed when he took a few minutes to chat with Jerk [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/noise/girl-talk-chats-it-up-with-jerk.html</link>
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		<title>Culture Corner: India</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Dress me up in a sari and call me Brangelina

This week, the latest installment of Culture Corner tackles the multicolored elephant in the room that is India. Many Syracuse University students hail from this mystical country, but attempts to learn about their culture have been less than stellar. Hosting over one billion people – and [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/smut/culture-corner-india.html</link>
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		<title>Ghetto Wrap</title>
		<description><![CDATA[A look at contraception gone awry

Generation after generation has sought to explore a few monumental phenomenons: How we copulate, but not procreate, or if you prefer, knock boots without knocking-up, or clean the carpet without making a few dust bunnies. Better yet, do “The Humpty Dance” without planting one in her Digital Underground.
And, in the [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/jerkexplains/ghetto-wrap.html</link>
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		<title>CakeWrecks</title>
		<description><![CDATA[The True Nature of Cake Decorating

From television to movies, bookstores to the state fair, the Foodie craze is everywhere. But you don’t have to sit in front of the boob tube or attend Bobby Flay’s book signing to get your Foodie fix — you can check blogs. 
Food blogs focus on those who love food: [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/noise/cakewrecks-exposing-the-true-nature-of-cake-decorating.html</link>
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		<title>Writings on the Wall</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Parents and friends use Facebook to cope with the loss of their loved ones

Michael Goodman, a 53-year-old technology consultant, regularly logs onto his daughter’s Facebook account. He changes her profile picture, updates her status, reads her wall posts, and accepts gifts and bumper stickers sent from her friends.
His daughter, Bailey, died on June 26, 2007 [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/smut/writings-on-the-wall.html</link>
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		<title>Poop Politics</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Some people have seriously shitty ideas

I don’t like public bathrooms. I am the kind of person who refuses to eat communal chips, and thinks hand sanitizer was a gift from God. One can only imagine my disgust on last weekend’s camping trip when I was faced with a porta potty. We had just arrived at [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/bitch/poop-politics.html</link>
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		<title>Generation Gap</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Entitled, my ass

They call us the “Entitlement Generation,” a spoiled, generally ’80s-born, vacation-demanding, Facebook-obsessed, dissatisfied group of brats born to whine and usurp “their” jobs. “They,” of course, being the baby boomers, a group so irritatingly large that any term they coin tends to become ubiquitous by default. Their argument in its most basic form [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/bitch/generation-gap.html</link>
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		<title>Flipping the Rhyme</title>
		<description><![CDATA[The Goonies redefine local hip-hop scene

When was the last time a skinny white kid raised his asthma inhaler in the middle of a hip-hop show and the audience went crazy? 
“It’s always been kind of a joke,” said Peter Cappelli aka Clam Weezy, half of Syracuse’s hip-hop duo The Goonies. “It’s not that serious. I [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/noise/flipping-the-rhyme.html</link>
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		<title>Contagious Cannibalism</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Syracuse film scene grows — one zombie at a time

Sunny Sawhney shuffles down the street and halts when a body stirs within a pile of zombies lying in the middle of the road. A trapped cop wrestles himself out of the gruesome heap, escaping the bloodthirsty undead. The zombies try to rip chunks from his [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/noise/contagious-cannibalism.html</link>
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		<title>Nudist&#8217;s Nirvana</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Naturists from Florida to Canada flock to CNY&#8217;s Empire Haven to escape the misconceptions and stigma behind nudism

Welcome to Empire Haven Nudist Park. Rule No. 1: always sit on a towel. But it’s a rule that Manager Michelle Keagle doesn’t need to follow since she wears clothes. “I love clothes and hate my body, so [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/smut/nudists-nirvana.html</link>
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		<title>All Alone on the Western Front</title>
		<description><![CDATA[A group of Sudanese refugees struggle to survive in Syracuse.

Lino Ariloka walked into Price Chopper every day at 6 a.m. sharp. He mopped the floors, stocked the shelves, and handled all of the heavy lifting. He earned minimum wage and received only a few hours of work per week.
Ariloka went home from work to a [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/smut/all-alone-on-the-western-front.html</link>
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		<title>Heavy Petting</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Girls can push their buttons too

I didn’t know female masturbation even existed before my professor asked me what I thought about its bad rap. 
Girls can masturbate? That was news to me. I mean,  I certainly hadn’t tried it before.
Honestly, I hadn’t discovered it upon straddling a noodle in a public pool at age [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/bitch/heavy-petting.html</link>
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		<title>Birds of a Feather</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Syracuse segregation symptoms

The moment students are accepted to Syracuse, it’s all over. A seemingly endless trail of packets and brochures inundate ’Cuse-bound kids, each pamphlet boasting photos of a chummy, diverse student body. But what incoming freshmen don’t know is that what was, until recently, a top 50 university is also the eighth most segregated [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/bitch/birds-of-a-feather.html</link>
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		<title>Family Portrait</title>
		<description><![CDATA[New buzz record label Underwater Peoples should be familiar to music blog fiends. ]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/gawk/family-portrait.html</link>
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		<title>Bike Fenders</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Save yourself some dough and make your own bike fenders. ]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/gawk/bike-fenders.html</link>
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		<title>Demolition Derby</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Kevin Eggleston experiences America's true form: wrecking cars for sport.]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/smut/demolition-derby.html</link>
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		<title>How to Hitchhike</title>
		<description><![CDATA[For our first Poor Bitch On Campus, we teach you how to conserve gas...the adventurous way.]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/bitch/how-to-hitchhike.html</link>
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		<title>Books and Memories</title>
		<description><![CDATA[There's a bookstore on James Street. You should visit, as long as you aren't nauseated by hipsters.]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/gawk/books-and-memories.html</link>
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		<title>The Low Down on the Get Down</title>
		<description><![CDATA[New ways to do it yourself and how to get in touch with your sexy techie self.]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/bitch/the-low-down-on-the-get-down.html</link>
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		<title>Essence of Volume</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Her Energy influences designers to amplify their voices. The exaggerated shoulder, high heel, and bold jewelry are exhibitions of fashion&#8217;s new muse.
Photographer: Gillian Ardnt
Makeup: Stephanie Aviles
Hair: Adam Mohamed
Model : Andrea LaMothe
All excess fabrics available for purchase at
Feminine Touch Fabrics, 519 W. Fayette Street
]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/gawk/essence-of-volume.html</link>
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		<title>Facebook Frenzy</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Pop Goes the Culture

It’s finally happened. The Facebook frenzy has gone too far. Here’s why: director David Fincher (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button) and screenwriter Aaron Sorkin (Charlie Wilson’s War) have teamed up for a movie about the founders of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, Eduardo Saverin, and Sean Parker.
When I first saw this news in [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/noise/facebook-frenzy.html</link>
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		<title>Culture Corner: France</title>
		<description><![CDATA[ Fat Americans take on the Stylish, Overfed, Snooty French 

Welcome one and all to the first Culture Corner! This column is devoted to breaking the sheltered American bubble in which most students live. For each column I will ask students their perceptions about a particular international culture, then relay the three most popular answers [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/smut/fat-americans-take-on-the-stylish-overfed-snooty-french.html</link>
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		<title>The Cool Kids and the Jerks</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Q&#38;A with the Cool Kids

 
3 p.m. – I’m backstage at Juice Jam 2009 with my friend and journalistic comrade Nathan Mattise (Nate for short please). Nate and I are walking over to The Cool Kids’ bus and I’m starting to feel nervous&#8211;I’m about to encounter their entire posse in a cramped space with just one [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/noise/the-cool-kids-and-the-jerks.html</link>
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		<title>The Best Drinking Buddy You Never Had</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Everything But the Kitchen Sink

A good drinking buddy is more than someone who is willing to carry you home from Chuck’s after you’ve had too many, or tests his or her luck with you every Flip Night at Faegan’s. The perfect drinking buddy makes any night a good night and delivers free insights with every [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/smut/the-best-drinking-buddy-you%e2%80%99ve-never-had.html</link>
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		<title>I DO Believe in Trannies!</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Pride Fever

L is for lesbians tying the knot.
G is for gay couples who are finally called a “family.”
B is for my big fat bisexual college experience (‘cause everybody has one!)
and T is for…
Well, we don’t talk about the T.
LGB_. It’s not just because “transgender” doesn’t roll off the tongue quite as easily as the other [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/pride-fever/i-do-believe-in-trannies.html</link>
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		<title>The Hysterical History of Female Masturbation</title>
		<description><![CDATA[She Bop

“She bop&#8211;he bop&#8211;a&#8211;we bop
I bop&#8211;you bop&#8211;a&#8211;they bop”
-Cyndi Lauper, “She Bop”
Long before female masturbation became fodder for Cyndi Lauper tunes, the game of sexual solitaire was one played, purportedly, at your own peril.
Puritans in 17th century New England viewed masturbation of any kind as akin to blasphemy and perpetrators of either were sometimes sentenced to [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/jerkexplains/the-hysterical-history-of-female-masturbation.html</link>
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		<title>Waldorf &amp; Chanel: What Could Be Better?</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Orange is the New Black

Lauren Kessler’s Blair Waldorf-inspired designs are a must have for any Syracuse University fashion addict.
Kessler recently launched Lauren Nicole Accents, a unique accessories line focused on handmade headbands and headpieces, some of which can be worn as jewelry. And let’s be serious, a two-in-one accessory is quite the buy.
“I always wanted [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/gawk/orange-is-the-new-black.html</link>
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		<title>TIFF: The Ultimate Field Trip</title>
		<description><![CDATA[An Arts Journalist&#8217;s Road Trip to the Toronto Film Festival

A mere four hour drive north of Syracuse stands Canada’s metropolitan behemoth, Toronto. The city is a multi-cultural smorgasbord that never sleeps, much like NYC. They’ve even gone so far in recent years to emulate the Big Apple by carving out their very own Times Square [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/noise/tiff-%e2%80%93-the-ultimate-field-trip.html</link>
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		<title>Readers Are Hot for Amish Romance Novels</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Pop Goes the Culture

The Amish. These two words typically conjure images of a backwards people who speak a weird language, refuse to use electricity, ride around in horse-drawn carriages, and wear drab colors. But, lately those two words are making people think of something else —  great love stories.
According to a recent article in [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/smut/pop-goes-the-culture.html</link>
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		<title>Copy and Paste THIS, Juice Jam</title>
		<description><![CDATA[The Noisemaker

Fuck You Juice Jam 2009.  Fuck You.
It’s not that you’re featuring Technicolor electro-hop duo The Cool Kids or pian-emos Jack’s Mannequin, but Girl Talk, the least talented homosapien since Carrot Top. I mean Kelly Osbourne.
Bands like Jack’s Mannequin are superabundant, a dime a dozen, disposable. The Cool Kids are the show’s real draw, [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/noise/the-noisemaker.html</link>
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		<title>White After Labor Day</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Novak&#8217;s Noise

White After Labor Day immediately gained popularity when it burst onto the Syracuse University music scene in 2007. But when the innovative pop-rock five-piece signed with Marshall Street Records last year, the development of the band took on a new dimension.
The band, comprised of singer/songwriter and pianist Anthony Cacace, guitarist Kevin Muldoon, bassist Phil [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/noise/novaks-noise.html</link>
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		<title>College Tweeny Boppers</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Picking Up Your J-14 At Age 20

OMG, Nick and Miley totes make the cutest couple ever!!!
It’s a state of obsession. Seemingly normal college girls now morph into Twi-hards and Jobro fans. They spend their days reading what Taylor Lautner and Rpatz look for in a girl, and they plan their wardrobe to mimic their favorite [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/bitch/college-tweeny-boppers.html</link>
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		<title>Double K Vintage</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Orange is the New Black

They’ve popped up all over campus – chic baubles adorning the ears and hands of Syracuse University fashionistas. But these Double K Vintage accessories didn’t leap off the catwalks of New York City, they were made by fellow SU students Kaitlyn Carpenter and Kristin Lubsen.
What began last fall as a jewelry-making [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/gawk/ratners-rags.html</link>
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		<title>I Think I Fell for the Gays on TV</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Pride Fever

Two petite, bubble gum-snapping, seemingly straight girls making out on a frat house couch is considered totally hot. And yet two leather-sporting, bull-dyke-labeled biker chicks locking lips don’t merit an invitation to most parties.
Over the last couple of decades, being hetero-flexible has become an “in” thing in urban America, but you have to fit [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/pride-fever/pride-fever-i-think-i-fell-for-the-gays-on-tv.html</link>
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		<title>Toilet Planter</title>
		<description><![CDATA[You've never seen a plant look this shitty]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/bitch/toilet-planter.html</link>
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		<title>Blood, Sweat, and Beers</title>
		<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/smut/blood-sweat-and-beers.html</link>
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		<title>Leee-roy Jenkins</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Like Second Life, but with battle axes

I don&#8217;t know about you, but on Saturday nights, I fight evil zombie lords and giant blue dragons.
I am addicted to World of Warcraft.
For those of you who spend your weekends grinding on a guy instead of exploring dungeons, World of Warcraft is an online role-playing game produced by [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/bitch/leee-roy-jenkins.html</link>
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		<title>Diner</title>
		<description><![CDATA[A tried-and-true greasy spoon
Hidden from the SU Campus, Doc&#8217;s Little Gem Diner sits on Spencer Street in an unassuming part of town.
After 50 years of hot pancakes, fresh french fries, and friendly smiles, Jerk pays tribute to this tried-and-true greasy spoon.

Modeled by Laura Good
Hair and Makeup by Alexandria Gamlin
]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/gawk/diner.html</link>
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		<title>Strap-ons</title>
		<description><![CDATA[The lowdown on the get down with Sandy Johnson]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/bitch/strap-ons.html</link>
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		<title>In High Gear</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Once a vacant warehouse, the Gear Factory could reshape Syracuse&#8217;s creative landscape

In mid-60s Manhattan, The Factory served as Andy Warhol&#8217;s studio, a place where the iconic pop artist produced many of his famous silkscreens. But it also became a gathering place for fashionable creative types, celebrities, and social oddities. The Velvet Underground played there. Sometimes [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/noise/in-high-gear.html</link>
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		<title>DIY or Die</title>
		<description><![CDATA[How to take a cross-country [rail]road trip]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/gawk/diy-or-die-3.html</link>
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		<title>Second Story Books</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Bohemian Bookshop]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/gawk/second-story-books.html</link>
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		<title>Saratoga Springs</title>
		<description><![CDATA[A slice of American Pie]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/smut/saratoga-springs.html</link>
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		<title>Hipster Hell</title>
		<description><![CDATA[To those sporting a copy of Thoreau&#8217;s  Civil Disobedience on the quad

Attention, hipsters. Intelligent peeps want to know: What is wrong with you?
You know who you are. Zach Braff and ironic tees make your loins tingle. Almost Famous is sooo how you want to live your life. If someone even mentions David Sedaris, you [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/bitch/hipster-hell.html</link>
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		<title>Gabrielle Hennessey</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Pleat, meet pretty]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/gawk/gabrielle-hennessey.html</link>
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		<title>Revolutionary Road</title>
		<description><![CDATA[

In his City Hall office, Syracuse Common Councilor Van Robinson talks about the city. He mentions the citizens, the schools, the businesses — but not with the words of a politician. Rather, his words seem to come from a friend, a neighbor. He came to Syracuse just over 40 years ago and never left. He [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/smut/revolutionary-road.html</link>
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		<title>Where Speakers Bleed Colors and Money is Art</title>
		<description><![CDATA[The Sound Scores of Andrew Deutsch and Stephen Vitiello


“Click, click…” say the frogs. “Click click click….click.”
Staccato static tickles sound artist Stephen Vitiello’s ears as he walks across a windswept clearing of marshy green just outside the dense alcove of the woods. Trees adorned with audio speakers outline the forest. Vitiello applies pigments of varying shades [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/noise/where-speakers-bleed-colors-and-money-is-art.html</link>
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		<title>Food Sex</title>
		<description><![CDATA[The lowdown on the get down with Sandy Johnson]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/bitch/food-sex.html</link>
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	<item>
		<title>Play Dough and Gak</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Old-school fun]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/bitch/play-dough-and-gak.html</link>
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	<item>
		<title>DIY or DIE</title>
		<description><![CDATA[How to work in a 'cool' office]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/gawk/diy-or-die-2.html</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Dog Daze Bakery</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Doggie want a doughnut?]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/gawk/dog-daze-bakery.html</link>
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	<item>
		<title>Marteal Boniello</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Not just a walk in the park]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/gawk/marteal-boniello.html</link>
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	<item>
		<title>The Redheaded Cluster Phenomenon</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Seeking out the Red

He sits four seats to the left and one seat behind me in my 8:25 a.m. MAT 526. His red hair matched mine. I jizzed.
On my way to the bathroom for a clean-up session, a redheaded math TA walked past me. Quite consequentially, rather than cleaning up in the bathroom, I scarfed [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/bitch/the-redheaded-cluster-phenomenon.html</link>
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		<title>On Being Poor</title>
		<description><![CDATA[I take it in the ass for you, Mr. Economy

Alright, Economy, joke’s over. Oh wait, I get it; this is punishment for being irresponsible, buying shit without realizing we actually have to repay it before the bank seizes our house, and setting up 10 Starbucks shops within the same two blocks in Manhattan. If that’s [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/bitch/on-being-poor.html</link>
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		<title>Song and Dance Man</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Bob Halligan, Jr.&#8217;s long and Celtic music career

In addition to an affinity for hairspray and bad perms, Cher and Michael Bolton share another bond: they dated for a brief period during the ’80s. But love lives and grooming habits aside, they’ve also both sung hits written by Syracuse University professor Bob Halligan, Jr.
Halligan, who teaches [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/noise/song-and-dance-man.html</link>
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		<title>Striking a Communal Chord</title>
		<description><![CDATA[For the Syracuse Community Choir, &#8220;diversity&#8221; is more than a PR buzzword. It is the core value that resonates within each singer.

A man carefully enters the May Memorial Unitarian Universalist Society Church and makes his way to the piano as singing commences. He sits down and places his fingers gently on the keys. His eyes stay [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/smut/striking-a-communal-chord.html</link>
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		<title>Scranton</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Ain't no party like a Scranton party]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/smut/scranton.html</link>
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		<title>Raw Emotion</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Stare into the soul of the city
Photography by: Anthony Garito
Modeled by: John Sumpter
Styled by: Michael Smith
]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/gawk/raw-emotion.html</link>
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		<title>The Town Turned Canvas</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Pratt&#8217;s Place is no ordinary building. Its orange walls and baby-blue pinstripes glow against a backdrop of snow and gray sky.
A 5-foot, brightly colored “American Gothic”-style portrait of building owners Anne and Skip Pratt hangs on one wall. Above the portrait, two turquoise-purple-yellow faux dogs stare out across a parking lot.
Pratt&#8217;s Place would stick out [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/smut/the-town-turned-canvas.html</link>
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		<title>Bush League</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Pube grooming in the LGBT community
To this day, Daniel Smith* can’t decide which was worse: the excruciating pain of burning off all his body hair, or the humiliation of going to school the next day.
Smith, then a senior in high school, had always felt some pressure to reign in his near-rabid hair.  It wasn’t [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/smut/bush-league.html</link>
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		<title>Where The Wild Things Are</title>
		<description><![CDATA[The screech and thump of Lady GaGa. The testosterone-heavy air. The animalistic stench. The male grunts. The female chat¬tering. Everything in Archbold Gymnasium screams carnal. It’s a jungle of college mating rituals — even better for a field study than frat row on Thursday night.]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/bitch/where-the-wild-things-are.html</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Guitars! Propaganda! Pre-War Russia!</title>
		<description><![CDATA[If you need an acoustic/ambient/rock fix, local group The Icon And The Axe is dropping their debut album on April 18.  For those who haven’t heard of the act, its MySpace page says Propaganda offers a sound that conveys the passionate search for truth paired with the melodies of a bygone era.  And they ain’t playin’ either.]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/noise/guitars-propaganda-pre-war-russia.html</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Ripped Off</title>
		<description><![CDATA[The mysterious disappearance of female pubic hair

By Jennifer Beth Williams
With a flick of her wrist, Jennifer Eiffe yanks out chunks of pubic hair. Over and over, day after day, session after session, Eiffe makes a living as a waxer at Garbo’s, popular beauty salon among Syracuse University students. Somewhere, somehow, someone has banned bushes. Business [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/smut/ripped-off.html</link>
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	<item>
		<title>Give It To Me Baby</title>
		<description><![CDATA[It was the first time his rose-colored penis entered a brown vagina. And it was the first time I learned that I was supposed to possess an arsenal of wild sexual skills, all because of my mahogany skin. ]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/bitch/give-it-to-me-baby.html</link>
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	<item>
		<title>1000 Styles and Counting</title>
		<description><![CDATA[I am looking at an image of a man/beast-like creature hunched over as drool oozes out of his teeth. His hands are hovering over his head and his fingertips slightly scratch the surface of his skull. Planted on top of this zombie-looking beast are sev¬eral transmission line towers. ]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/noise/1000-styles-and-counting.html</link>
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	<item>
		<title>A World Apart</title>
		<description><![CDATA[The first day I visited Ben, he never looked me in the eye, never acknowledged that I was in his home or photographing him. I was not invisible, and he made space for me, but he seemed miles away. This distance is just one of several traits that reveal the struggles Ben and his adoptive family, the Lehrs, have en¬dured for the past 30 years. Ben is autistic. ]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/smut/a-world-apart.html</link>
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	<item>
		<title>Manifesto</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Comrads embrace destiny.]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/gawk/manifesto.html</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Sex Lowdown</title>
		<description><![CDATA[The lowdown on the get down with Sandy Johnson.]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/bitch/sex-lowdown-2.html</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>DIY or DIE</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Become a Youtube sensation.]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/gawk/diy-or-die.html</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Cat-skillz</title>
		<description><![CDATA[The Cat-Skillz Moutains]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/smut/daytripper.html</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>All Good in the Hood</title>
		<description><![CDATA[A profile of Jake Couri]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/gawk/all-good-in-the-hood.html</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>G-Spot of Armory Square</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Sweet On Chocolate]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/gawk/g-spot-of-armory-square.html</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Herb Garden</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Steps to build own egg-carton garden.]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/bitch/herb-garden.html</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Dumpster Diving</title>
		<description><![CDATA[How to dumpster dive for holiday presents]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/gawk/dumpster-diving.html</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Drink Up &amp; Deck Out</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Drink up and deck out]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/bitch/drink-up-deck-out.html</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Sex Lowdown</title>
		<description><![CDATA[The lowdown on the get down with Sandy Johnson]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/bitch/sex-lowdown.html</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Canada&#8217;s Not Bad, Eh?</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Canada's not bad, eh?]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/smut/canadas-not-bad-eh.html</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>X-Bar</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Cue the strobes, blast the music, and open the door]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/gawk/x-bar.html</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Electro Clash</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Dance to the new wave electro phenomenon]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/gawk/electro-clash.html</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>A Loss For Words</title>
		<description><![CDATA[It’s recess time, and Daniel* is yanking a coat out of Alim’s* hands. Alim wails, but doesn’t say a word. He doesn’t tell the teacher Daniel accidentally switched their coats. He doesn’t ask Daniel to give it back. All he can do is cry in a room with 23 second graders who can’t understand him.]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/smut/a-loss-for-words.html</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Dying Memory</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Chris Bell made a mistake during the summer of 1996 — over and over again. He had unprotected sex with a man, sometimes up to six times a week. Then, after he caught mononucleosis in August 1997, doctors ran a few tests. Bell, who had spent most of his academic career studying AIDS, was now HIV-positive. ]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/smut/dying-memory.html</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Lost and Found</title>
		<description><![CDATA[It is 8:40 p.m. on a Saturday and the place is practically empty. A blond woman in a black-and-red-striped shirt sits at the bar waiting to be served by a 20-something bartender with tattoos on her arms and chest. Stacks of empty beer boxes sit on the floor behind the bar. On the other side of the venue, a band begins setting up for tonight’s show. The club is unusually quiet.  ]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/noise/lost-and-found.html</link>
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	<item>
		<title>Emerging Ink</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Josh Blair, 25, spends his days going to the library for story time and to the park for play dates. But as soon as the clock strikes eight, he puts his 2-year-old son Ian to bed and plugs into his 4-year-old low-fi Dell desktop for a long night.]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/noise/emerging-ink.html</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>President-elect Obama</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Dear President-elect Obama, I know I should offer you congratulations on your election victory. You essentially had a landslide victory of Reagan ’84 and Johnson ’64 proportions. Though you won’t have a filibuster-proof Democratic Senate majority, at least SNL alum Al Franken might be in the Senate after the recount. That would be good. He can cover the funny while you get down to business. You might have won the election, but John McCain most definitely had the best comedy routine at the Al Smith Dinner. Just saying…]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/bitch/president-elect-obama.html</link>
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	<item>
		<title>When Facts Falter</title>
		<description><![CDATA[When I picked up a copy of Jerk’s October issue, the article by Renee Orenstein, “When Fashion Falters,” immediately caught my attention. Orenstein questioned the popularity of the keffiyah scarf: a checkered, fashion must-have associated with the Middle East. ]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/bitch/when-facts-falter.html</link>
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	<item>
		<title>Dog Days</title>
		<description><![CDATA[At 6 a.m. on a Saturday, I hear a whining noise coming from my bedroom floor. I clamp a pillow over my head. The whining turns to growling. Then I feel a tug on my comforter accompanied by a ripping sound.  ]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/bitch/dog-days.html</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Birdshit Library</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Look here.  When’s the last time you went to Bird Library and actually got shit done? Never? Well smack my ass and call me Sally. Bird Library is a sham. I mean, nobody in her right mind can get work done there.  It’s like a fucking nightclub. You’re all screaming, giving lap dances, and blathering on about sucking dick, fucking pussy, and blowing weed smoke up your cat’s asshole. ]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/bitch/birdshit-library-2.html</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Birdshit Library</title>
		<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/uncategorized/birdshit-library.html</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Noisegasm</title>
		<description><![CDATA[An interview with drummer Damon Che from the band Don Caballero.]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/noise/noisegasm.html</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>A Vegan Thanksgiving</title>
		<description><![CDATA[A bunch of delicious Vegan recipes including Banana Cranberry Muffins, Carrot Soup with Pumpkin Seeds, Creamy Garlic Mashed Potatoes, and Arugula Salad.]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/bitch/a-vegan-thanksgiving.html</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Sex Scandals</title>
		<description><![CDATA[The only thing that comes close to the pleasure of having sex is hearing about the sex everyone else is having. And who better to divulge their dirtiest, naughtiest, most sexual scandals than the rich and famous? ]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/smut/sex-scandals.html</link>
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	<item>
		<title>Plan B: Uses and Misuses</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Sex is, in a word, spectacular. Primitive, sensational, and not to mention calorie burning—it is an act that connects two (or more than two) people on a whole new level. ]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/smut/plan-b-uses-and-misuses.html</link>
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	<item>
		<title>Records Revisited &amp; Reviewed: Online Edition</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Online reviews of records including: "Blue Moon," Smoke Gets In Your Eyes," and "A Rainy Night In G."]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/noise/records-revisited-reviewed-online-edition.html</link>
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	<item>
		<title>SCA Web Profile</title>
		<description><![CDATA[By day, Jennifer Moravasik, 33, is a graphic designer for Seaboard Graphics in Liverpool, N.Y., but by night and weekend, she goes by Lady Desiderata Drake – “Desi Duck” for short – and is dedicated to being a pirate.]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/smut/sca-web-profile.html</link>
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	<item>
		<title>Upcoming Events</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Jerk-worthy upcoming events]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/events/upcoming-events.html</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Lowdown On The Get Down</title>
		<description><![CDATA[The lowdown on the get down with Sandy Johnson]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/bitch/lowdown-on-the-get-down.html</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Survive Without a Cell Phone</title>
		<description><![CDATA[How to survive without a cell phone without feeling naked all day]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/gawk/survive-without-a-cell-phone.html</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Zen Center of Syracuse Hoen-ji</title>
		<description><![CDATA[You don’t need to be a meditation aficionado or an avid chanter to visit the Zen Center]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/gawk/zen-center-of-syracuse-hoen-ji.html</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Cut-oure</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Adding to your wardrobe doesn’t have to take hours of scouring the racks]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/bitch/cut-oure.html</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Gorge(ous)</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Good food and good beer — what more can a daytripper ask for?  
]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/smut/gorgeous.html</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Spherical Infinities</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Photographer Gillian Arndt finds inspiration from the Art Nouveau movement.]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/gawk/spherical-infinities.html</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Can You Paint With All the Colors of the Wind?</title>
		<description><![CDATA[“If I’m not back by 9 call the cops,” I add, only half joking. I throw on my shades and grab my camera. I am out the door and in the car, cruising down Erie Boulevard. My thoughts wander. What did Windwalker mean when he said that he needed to “consult the voices” before our interview?]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/noise/can-you-paint-with-all-the-colors-of-the-wind.html</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Vinyl Fever</title>
		<description><![CDATA[It’s a treasure trove of antiquities and a time machine for music lovers. Valued at just over $1 million, the 200,000 records of the Savada Record Collection recently found a new home at Syracuse University’s Belfer Audio Lab. Donated by the late Morton J. Savada, owner of the Manhattan store Records Revisited, the acquisition nearly doubles the size of SU’s previous collection. Now it’s second only to the Library of Congress.]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/noise/vinyl-fever.html</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Fight Club</title>
		<description><![CDATA[To the untrained eye, it looks like a local Verizon service rep is beating the bejeezus out of a tech guy at the Oneida County Department of Planning. But to the members of the Society for Creative Anachronism, it’s simply another Wednesday night of heavy weapons fighting practice — and Andrew Biel and Rick Reichert are duking it out medieval-style.]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/smut/fight-club.html</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Labor of Love</title>
		<description><![CDATA[
In the middle of the night, Alisa Ruperto can ignore the fire truck sirens roaring by her window. She can ignore her laughing neighbors stumbling home from the bars and slamming their doors. But when her roommate cries, sleeping just a foot away from her bed, Ruperto can’t ignore it.]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/smut/labor-of-lovelabor-of-love.html</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Pussy Whipped</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Suffrage activists didn’t get arrested for your right to stumble around in underwear and a pair of bunny ears last Friday night. They didn’t stand out in the freezing cold for your right to surgically alter your vagina to make it look more attractive. They were simply fighting for equal rights. But you literally blew it.]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/bitch/pussy-whipped.html</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Modified Minds</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Though a full sleeve of fairy tale and storybook tattoos covers my arm, I’m hardly the kind of girl who gets inked to piss off her parents or society. When moms pull their children close at the grocery store, the directions to Neverland on my wrists remind me that I am the sole dictator of my own fairy tale.  ]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/bitch/modified-minds.html</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Miracle Food Flop</title>
		<description><![CDATA[I’ve got a bone to pick with vegetarianism. Though it can be a highly admirable lifestyle for ethical and health reasons, I’m disappointed by the fake meat phenomenon sweeping veggie-land. ]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/bitch/miracle-food-flop.html</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>An Eye Toward the Sky</title>
		<description><![CDATA[For a majority of the year, Syracuse is a frigid, depressing tundra. It’s utterly miserable, but like most people, I always simply assumed that natural meteorological forces produce Syracuse’s uniquely unpleasant climate.  ]]></description>
		<link>http://www.jerkmagazine.net/bitch/an-eye-toward-the-sky.html</link>
			</item>
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