After nine excruciating months of Kylie being completely MIA, the birth of her baby girl has finally been announced and the Internet is flipping shit. Now that Kylie is indeed back and killing it in the game with her makeup line, Kylie Cosmetics, we can’t help but wonder what Stormi’s life is going to look like in the future… 

Occupation: Fashion Designer 

With a mom like Kylie Jenner, there is no doubt that Stormi will start setting trends at a young age and taking fashion risks that will shock us all (but that we’ll IMMEDIATELY follow anyway). Her first line, which will of course be named “Steezy”, is bound to be Yeezy’s number one competitor, which will def cause some mild family drama, but then again, what doesn’t stir up drama with the Kardashians? 

Childhood Best Friend: Blue Ivy Carter 

If Blue and Stormi don’t end up being amazing friends, then what has this whole thing been about? If our predictions are sound, these two mini-moguls will create a celebrity powerhouse that nobody will be able to stop, finally merging the two most iconic families in America. They’ll do everything together: fly in private jets, collab on a whole new makeup line, and maybe even start a record label on the side. Their friendship will be… in a word… irreplaceable.  

The Kardashian She Will be Most Like: Kim 

Although Kim has reigned (no pun intended) successfully over the Kardashian Klan for years, in the future we could see her ready to take a break from the cameras for a more private life – something she has never truly had. In her absence, the world will inevitably need to find an heir to her throne, and Stormi will absolutely be the one to step up. She will be a fair but firm ruler, responding to her many fan tweets and maybe even going off on the paparazzi from time to time. It will be a new era for the Kardashians, and it will be MAJOR.  

Future Lip Kit Color: Indigo 

While Kylie has released a few blue lip kits in the past with colors such as “Skylie” and “Freedom,” you cannot name a child Stormi without dedicating a new blue hue to her. We expect hers will be a darker, more purple shade (since the light blue lip kit just looked fucking weird) and we know it will sell out in seconds. It might even come with a matching eyeshadow palette or an access code to ANOTHER heartbreaking mini-documentary…  

Love Interest: King Cairo 

Yup, it’s Tyga’s son, and yes it will start as a way to spite her mother, but it will eventually blossom into what could be perceived as an actual functional relationship! Plus this bond has the potential to bring Kylie and Tyga together again after a long on-again-off-again relationship that has fucked with all of our minds and hearts. The only negative would be Stormi’s future mother-in-law, Blac Chyna, but who knows? She may be able to reinstate peace between the two families (probs not tho… Kris Jenner holds one hell of a grudge). 

Chandler Plante is a freshman magazine major from Tucson, Arizona, who hasn’t owned a coat in over four years. In her spare time, she enjoys checking up on her Webkinz from 2008 and trying to convince people to read her long-winded rants and ramblings. Help a gal out and just read her articles instead.

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