Photo credit: Matthew Coughlin,

By Kelsie Testa

H2Orgasm? Not so much…

I heard hot tub sex can be really sexy. Thoughts?

Hot tub sex, in my experience, sucks more than fucking in the back seat of a tiny sedan. If you think it’s going to be a magical, aquatic experience, let me debunk two common myths for you.

Water washes away semen so you don’t have to wear a condom.

Sperm can still swim into your cooch to create babies. Just because you’re in a body of water doesn’t mean the sperm will get confused and think the liquid-y mass around them is a giant vagina. So bottom line: wrap it.

Warmer environments also lead to an abundance of live bacteria, so wearing a condom keeps it all in the tub and out of your hoo-ha.

The heat kills sperm.

Heat only slightly decreases sperm count, leaving between 200 and 500 million little swimmers just waiting to dive into your cave of wonders.

If you’re still not convinced that humping in the hot tub is a bad idea, remember this: water washes away your natural lubrication, so fucking in the Jacuzzi leads to more friction (than, say, if you did it on a bed or in the Student Association office).

Still looking for a good time that’s wet and wild? Have your man throw you up against the stall and get down in the shower. Just make sure he’s standing on a bathmat with good grip. Concussions tend to kill the mood.

More questions? Send your sexual conundrums to

  • Sam
    March 2, 2011

    Hot tub sex seems like it’ll be totally hot like it is in the movies, but it’s really just leads to a clumsy and disappointing experience. Basically, don’t try to get it in inside the hot tub.

  • AB
    March 7, 2011

    I mean I guess it would be hot… and wet… but yeah, doesn’t sound too ideal.

  • March 28, 2011
  • pp head
    August 7, 2011

    I had sex with my BF in the hot tub the other night while it was raining. It was HOT. We used a silicone-based lube to keep it slick, and it was seriously one of the best sexual experiences of my adult life. But it was HIS hot tub. I would do this in a public situation where you dont know what germies are swimming around.

  • Anon
    October 23, 2011

    Well, my wife and I just had mind blowing sex in a hot tub. Her natural lube was MORE than enough. In fact, the creative solutions of her lower body floating with me standing were…ummm…well…mind blowing…

post a comment