Dear Rock the Dome goer that just puked on the shoes of the guy beside you,
Thank you for being so drunk that you spent the entire first act grinding on the poor girl in front of you for no apparent reason. Please stop insisting that all you need is another drink. Honey, we’re sure the last thing you need is more alcohol.
Please do not be this girl.
Dear Brain and Leo,
Thank you for being the poor Dome staff members that have to clean up the puke of a girl that is way too drunk to be here. You are the real stars of the show.
Dear 070 Shake,
We’re sorry you couldn’t be on the basketball team here. We think you’d be really cool to hang with and wish you were in classes with us. Come back real soon.
Dear Syracuse Men’s Basketball Team,
Put 070 Shake on the roster. Please and thank you.
Dear Oh Wonder,
You remind us of those kids from junior high who wore all black, listened to slow music, and thought they were deep and mysterious. Your vibes are cool but please lose the wanna-be hipster look. Your music is too good so rely on that.
Dear The 1975,
Like the era you derive your name from, you have about three good songs and the rest are just danced to because we feel like dancing, but no worries – we love you anyway and hope to see you and your technicolor sets in the future.
Dear Carrier Dome,
Please get better acoustics. Just about anything that happens inside of you is simply horrendous to listen to because of the mass amount of reverb.
Dear freshman girls not leaving at the end of the show,
You’re embarrassing yourself. The house lights came on and we are sorry to say, but it’s over now. Please exit the Dome in an orderly fashion.