The Deal:

It’s no secret that everyone feels like the shit in their Halloween costumes. Whether for our dazzling originality, execution, or dollars spent on bunny ears and Hugh Heff robes, we take pride in what we choose to be on our one night of pretend. But we can’t help but notice that with every proud strut down Marshall Street, comes an eye roll, a scoff, or a snarky “take-a-shot-every-time-you-see-a-cat” comment aimed to tear others down and hype ourselves up. Sure we say it’s all in good fun, but are these *witty* judgements really as innocent as they seem?

The Issue:

Every now and then, it’s important to remind ourselves that disliking a popular thing doesn’t actually make us cool or interesting people. It just makes us look like assholes. People who genuinely believe that the seven glittery aliens around the corner are going to come for our neck and our most recent hookup. If you’re really about the lük you’re serving, find your angle, snap a selfie, and don’t bother people who found their outfits on Pinterest. They’re probably busy serving galaxy realness anyway.

The Bigger Issue:

When it comes down to it, a lot of the judgements we hear passed out during Halloweekend have something to do with slut-shaming. And the shitty “ugh how basic,” cover-ups aren’t fooling anybody anymore. It’s also important to remember where these standards of dress came from. Where the hyper-sexualization of women’s bodies originated. Where the fear of being considered a prude or a slut on Halloween started. So for every guy retweeting those annual “Halloween make me wish all my kids are boys” threads, remember that you are the ones who set the social norms. And know that women are allowed to embrace those standards and make them their own. However, it’s not just men who play into basic-bitch shaming. Sadly, because women are often taught to view each other as competition, lots of girl-on-girl crime takes place on Halloween as well. So at the end of the day, no matter who you are, if a woman’s confidence in her own body is still the scariest thing you see on Halloween night, it’s time to reevaluate. Let the sexy nurses live, throw back another tequila shot, and chill the fuck out.

The Defense:

Maybe we’ve got it all wrong. Maybe you genuinely are concerned about how cold that girl must be in her spandex shorts. Maybe you really are disappointed that a group of guys couldn’t come up with anything more original than a shirtless firemen group costume. But maybe, just maybe, those “worries” come from a place of insecurity instead. If you ask us, it’s time to do some self reflection and address what we’re really saying when we talk about costumes on Halloween night. Because ultimately, our petty judgements are the only true horrors around.    

Chandler Plante
chandlerplantejerk@gmail.com
Chandler Plante is a freshman magazine major from Tucson, Arizona, who hasn’t owned a coat in over four years. In her spare time, she enjoys checking up on her Webkinz from 2008 and trying to convince people to read her long-winded rants and ramblings. Help a gal out and just read her articles instead.

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