Everyone’s favorite (or least favorite) power couple, Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande, has split up, and we’re just as shocked as you are.

TMZ broke the news last night, reporting that the five-month-long relationship has ended, as well as their engagement. A source close to the now-exes added that the couple still loves each other, but claims that “things are over romantically.”

It’s pretty shitty because just two weeks ago, Pete was making jokes on Saturday Night Live about the two and their lasting bond.

Weekend Update host Colin Jost asked Pete about one of Ariana’s new songs, “Pete Davidson,” to which he replied “You know, I don’t even get royalties for that ‘Pete Davidson’ song? Like, if we break up, and we won’t—we will— but we won’t. I’m kidding. But like in ten years if God forbid that ever happened, there will be a song called ‘Pete Davidson’ like playing in speakers at K-Mart and I’ll be working there.”

Yikessssssss.

This is pretty surprising, because Pete and Ariana were absolutely obsessed with each other, primarily on social media. The two would always leave sickeningly-cute comments on each others’ pictures, tweet at each other, or post adorable couple Instagrams that made us cringe while still wishing we had a stable relationship. Ha…stable.

Also, the couple has a total of eight tattoos dedicated to their relationship, including matching cloud tattoos and Ariana’s “PETE” tattoo on her ring finger. Tattoo removal services, anyone?

However, it’s crucial to remember Ariana has been through a hell of a lot. Her long-term ex Mac Miller’s overdose and the Manchester bombing last year more than guarantee a rough patch.

Also, Pete has kinda been a fucking shitty boyfriend. He mocked the Manchester bombing, defended the pastor who groped Ariana on TV, was proud Bill Clinton eyed her because “she’s so hot,” mooched off her fame and fortune, and joked about switching her birth control to trap her.

So, Ariana, we see where you’re coming from—cut that bitch loose. And lesson learned, kids; maybe don’t get engaged after a few days of dating.

Ainsley Holman
ainsleyholmanjerk@gmail.com
Ainsley Holman is a freshman Magazine major from Dallas, Texas, who, despite her trouble with basic English skills, likes to think she is good at writing. When she’s not eating squeezable applesauce with the determination of a second grader, you can find Ainsley napping or rewatching Brooklyn Nine-Nine for the tenth time.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *