The Week: What You Missed

Scientists take the fun out of pot, Marshall Street welcomes more fast food, and the government is on the verge of shutting down.

Photo credit:

Sunday, April 3 | Scientists are making progress with the discovery of a cannabis-like drug that relieves pain without getting you high. Thanks a lot, fun police.

Charlie Sheen is booed offstage at his first live comedy show in Detroit, “Violent Torpedo of Truth Defeat Is Not an Option.” It ended 20 minutes early because everyone left. The more important question here is, why is Charlie Sheen performing live comedy?

Monday, April 4 | Condé Nast tries to recover $8 million the company paid a Texas man after he sent an email invoice (that’s right, just one measly email) pretending to be the magazine conglomerate’s printer. Damn technology.

Photo credit:

Tuesday, April 5 | Liz Lemon’s new book, Bossypants, debuts in stores. Are those Alec Baldwin’s arms on the cover?

Welcome to Marshall Street, Chipotle. Finally, a new option for drunk food on the way back from Chuck’s — that old guy in Acropolis was getting sick of us.

Wednesday, April 6 | A Japanese research team successfully grows a mouse eye in a petri dish using stem cells. This has many ramifications for future research and curing blindness.

On a greasier note, why is everyone suddenly obsessed with bacon? Denny’s just introduced a Baconalia” festival with seven bacon-laden dishes, including the Maple Bacon Sundae. And a new bacon-scented cologne … well, no need to continue.

Thursday, April 7 | We don’t feel like total deadbeats for moving back home after graduation: Kate and William will be living with Prince Harry after the wedding.

Donald Trump is the GOP’s second choice for a presidential nomination. Right after a cardboard cut-out of Justin Bieber.

Friday, April 8 | We’re avidly following @govt_shutdown for breaking news.

5 Comments on The Week: What You Missed

  1. bacon cologne? you’ve got to be kidding me.

  2. chipotle closes at 10 pm i heard? that needs to change asap…

  3. There’s even bacon-flavored vodka: What are you supposed to use as a chaser? Maple syrup? Egg yolk?

  4. For more commentary on Donald Trump, check out Face Time’s latest interview!

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published.