It’s that time of the semester again, Jerks. Any sleep schedule you had has gone to complete shit. Dragging your ass out of bed for your 8 am, or even a 12:45 pm (no judgement), has become next to impossible. And on top of everything else, every time you leave your bed, your nips turn rock hard in .02 seconds. Who the fuck decided to build a school in this tundra anyway?

All week you’ve been frantically trying to keep up with all the shit your professors seem to be pulling out of thin fucking air… even though they laid it all out for us with a handy dandy syllabus that we haven’t looked at since sylly week. And if that wasn’t bad enough, you’ve noticed your late nights at Bird are starting to look more and more like the overcrowded chaos of Castle on a Saturday night. To top it all off, you have never missed your dog (or cat… if you’re into that) so much in your entire life and Thanksgiving break has never seemed so far away!

But hey, we’re here to tell you you’re not alone. We’re all actors/actresses in the shit show that is midterms; pretending we’ve got it all together when, in reality, we’re just one broken pencil away from a total mental meltdown. The key thing to remember is we’re all in this together. We are all 99% iced coffee, running off of four hours of sleep, and trying to #getthatdegree that we may or may not deserve. Trust us when we say no one truly has their shit 100% together. Don’t let the pressure get to you.  

Surviving is thriving at this point folks, so chill the fuck out and embrace the upcoming weeks. Studying for an exam? Crack open a couple of lukewarm brews with the bros in your class. Writing a major paper? Take a hit and let those words flow. Anxiety and stress hitting you a little too hard? Do some yoga, light a candle, accidentally trigger a fire alarm in your dorm—just do what you need to do! Whatever you’re feeling, ride it out in style and get it DONE.

We’ve got this.

Nika Nejad
nikanejadjerk@gmail.com

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