What To Do After You Hookup With A Friend

You can blame it on the a-a-a-alcohol all you want, but now it's up to your sober selves to figure out the friendship.

Friday friends

We’ve all been there… waking up Sunday morning next to your drunken hook-up from the night before, knowing it’s going to be awkward from here on out. But what if that person in bed with you happens to be your best friend? Yikes. Did you literally kiss the friendship goodbye?  

If the two of you have been hanging out for some time―splitting Calio’s late on Friday nights and listening to their latest relationship issues―and all of a sudden it just ~happened~ because you were both under the influence, then maybe it was just a one-time thing. Maybe they were feeling heartbroken and was looking for a rebound, or maybe they just decided to go for it (because drunk goggles are a real thing). If that’s the case, you can act like it never happened, or have a conversation with them about it. 

Acting like Saturday was only a dream seems like an easy way out. After all, it was just a one-time thing, right? It could create some serious tension between the two of you, though. Do they want it to happen again? Do you? Will it? Leaving questions like these unanswered could make it awkward, with both of you not really knowing how to act around each other. 

In situations like this, you’re better off talking it out. In the moment, neither of you thought to discuss your relationship (friendship, whatever) after the hook up. No one wanted to kill the mood with the “what is this?” talk, but now’s the time to have that conversation. It may seem like a painful fix to the problem, but if you can both be consenting adults in bed, then you can act like adults afterwards, too.  

Luckily for your situation, hook-up culture in college has made it easier to stay friends with someone after seeing them naked. When you sit them down to talk, be blunt. There’s no beating around the bush with this one; you both know why you’re there and what you need to talk about. The conversation doesn’t have to be formal or a big deal, you can just say something simple like, “We’re still friends, right? I don’t want this to be awkward.”  

If they’re a true friend, they’re going to be okay with the situation. This could even make your friendship stronger (because now you really know each other) and maybe you can both look back on it and laugh. Or, you could suggest the two of you act like it never happened and decide never to speak of it again. If that’s more your style and you’d rather not relive the night, tell them.  

But what if they don’t want it to be a one-time hook-up? What if they want a “friends with benefits” type of relationship? If you’re down, and they’re down, then do it, and do it.  

Either way, if you genuinely care about each other, it will turn out alright. Sure, it may be weird at first, because you now know what each other looks like naked, but over time you’ll either forget it happened or you’ll have a good laugh about it months down the road. Long story short, if you still want to be friends, you’ll still be friends.  

Brooke Kato
About Brooke Kato (6 Articles)
Brooke Kato is a freshman newspaper and online journalism major who survives off of black coffee and Ben&Jerry’s half-baked ice cream. If she isn’t binge watching her latest obsession on Netflix, you can find her petting random dogs she found on campus and reading the latest edition of the New Yorker.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published.

*