Oh, laptop stickers. The ultimate form of self-expression in college, because nothing says “I’m in a downward spiral” like a strategically placed sticker of a dog with sunglasses. Need help interpreting? Let us give you a hand…

Vineyard Vines sticker

“I’ve actually never been to the Cape, let alone the Vineyard, but I own the same button down in seven different pastel colors, so that has to count for something right?”

TV Show sticker

“I’ve binge-watched The Office five times, yet still have not started the paper that’s due tomorrow in my Com Law class. But ugh, can we please discuss the underrated humor of Michael Scott and not how I’m not on track to graduate on time?”

“Sassy” sticker:

“I’m not like other girls, I’m ~unique and edgy~, but my sticker selection of peach butt emojis and edgy Tumblr text posts is definitely from the trending page on Redbubble.”

Feminist sticker:

“I use my laptop as a soapbox for social issues, and just in case you couldn’t tell from my ‘smash the patriarchy,’ ‘fuck the wage gap,’ ‘the future is female,’ and Hillary 2016 stickers,  I’m woke as FUCK and you’re never gonna hear the end of it.”

CUSE sticker:

“I love my school and its spirit, even though I’ve blacked out at all of the tailgates and have not made it to ANY of the home football games since the season started. I only go out on gameday for the Insta pic tbh.”

Patagonia or REI sticker:

“I love the outdoors, hiking, and everything about nature, I swear! Just please don’t tell people the last time I actually walked at an incline was the drunken trek from Marshall Street back to my dorm.”

Home State sticker:

“Honestly, the only thing unique about me is that I’m not from Jersey. Or… I’m just inexplicably proud to be from Jersey.”  

Now that you’re feeling thoroughly self conscious about your choice in laptop decor, we should note that Jerk appreciates the ~creative process~ you all go through when picking out the stickers that showcase your personality. But let’s be real… it’s just the personality you want others to see.  

Ainsley Holman
ainsleyholmanjerk@gmail.com
Ainsley Holman is a freshman Magazine major from Dallas, Texas, who, despite her trouble with basic English skills, likes to think she is good at writing. When she’s not eating squeezable applesauce with the determination of a second grader, you can find Ainsley napping or rewatching Brooklyn Nine-Nine for the tenth time.

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