In case you missed it, last night Free Form (formerly known as ABC Family) premiered “Ben and Lauren: Happily Ever After.” If you had a busy schedule and didn’t get around to watching it, or you were (luckily) watching something else, consider yourself fortunate. People may judge you for watching “The Bachelor/Bachelorette,” but if you become a weekly viewer of this show, you will lose any TV show credibility you may have. On top it, we all know the relationship success rate of the show is low, and after one episode of Ben and Lauren there were multiple glaring moments where it became certain the couple has no chance. So to all of you who rooted for Ben and Lauren B, sorry but it’s not looking too hot.
In one of the first scenes of the episode Lauren and Ben are in the car together and she asks him, “Do you have any deep dark secrets I don’t know about you?” Lauren, do we need to remind you of the ring on your finger? You agreed to spend the rest of your life with him so perhaps you should already know his secrets? Nice judgment on your part.
Aside from this small bump in the road, the majority of the show was centered on JoJo. In many instances, Lauren shared how self-conscious she was about JoJo’s history with Ben. When they decided to marathon watch JoJo’s season, one of the first concerns Lauren had was “What if he’s attracted to her” while watching her on TV? Nice, you two. I see a great future of jealously and distrust, but I’m no fortune teller, just someone with a brain. Later in the one hour of torture episode, the producer calls Ben and asks if he and Lauren would come to JoJo’s “After the Final Rose,” while they were coincidentally on a date just the two of them and the producer was put on speaker (totally unplanned). Ben agrees without Lauren’s approval and another fight ensues. The whole “Ben doing something wrong and Lauren getting mad” was a common occurrence in the episode.
Back to JoJo. I don’t know about you, but it’s a glaring red flag to me how much JoJo talks about Ben and how much Ben and Lauren focus on JoJo. Throughout JoJo’s entire season she constantly would bring Ben into conversations, and in Happily Ever After Lauren constantly said how she needed to fully trust Ben. It seems to be clear that JoJo and Ben have some loose ends to tie up. Never mind that they are both engaged to other people. I’d say I feel bad for Lauren, but then why did you decide to do a television show sharing with America (or the few that choose to watch) your relationship with Ben?
Here’s the best part. While you may have thought to yourself that JoJo was just the first episode to tie things up for the viewers, she literally is the main issue in the next episode too! JoJo and Jordan invite Lauren and Ben to get lunch together. The episode ends with Lauren saying that her biggest fear “…is if meeting up and having lunch will bring back feelings.” People are starving and dying, Lauren. People are running for president. There are more important things to worry about!
I predict a wild affair if both couples tie the knot, or maybe polygamy will be accepted in this scenario. Either way, Ben and Lauren certainly have no happily ever after in their future.