My Curly Journey

Graphics by Anika Dua

I’m standing in the mirror getting ready to leave for middle school. I frantically run a detangling brush through my hair over and over, watching as it just gets frizzier and bigger. Eventually after a few (or a lot) of tears, I give up. I put my hair in a ponytail or headband. Then, I go upstairs, admitting my defeat, and someone has the audacity to ask, “did you even brush your hair?” At this point, I’m ready to commit arson. 

Personally, I put a lot of my confidence in my hair. If I’m having a bad hair day, I’m having a bad day. I like to be proud of my appearance, and because my hair was always either frizzy curls or relentlessly straightened, I had VERY low self-esteem. 

Until 2020– the prime time to experiment since there was literally nothing else to do– I was sitting on TikTok, and someone described all the issues I’ve had with my hair, and told me that I probably have a type of curly hair. 

So, while everyone was making foam coffees or slime or whatever, I started ordering curly hair products, doing research, and experimenting with different methods… and look at my curls now! The days of straightening my hair everyday or crying because I hated my frizzy knots are over. 

There are a few things about hair care that I didn’t expect to come across when I started to style my curls. First, it can be time consuming. When I first started taking care of my hair, I didn’t really know what I was doing, and I would sit in the bathroom for hours. But now that I have the hang of it, I spend one day a week doing a lot of work on my hair, and the rest of the week I rarely have to do anything to it. 

Also, I didn’t realize how expensive curly products can be. There are affordable products, but expensive products are also the ones (in my experience) that typically last longer, and in the long run, are actually more worthwhile. When it’s a good product, I find that I don’t have to use it multiple times a week, which increases the use I get out of it. Honestly, I’d probably end up spending more money long term if I went for the cheaper products on the market. My current routine is shampoo, Not Your Mother’s Curl Talk conditioner, LOVE curl cleansing cream, LOVE curl conditioner, mousse, and don’t shrink hair gel. Then, I plop it for about 15 minutes, and let it air dry. 

I even went to a curly hair stylist, since a lot of hair stylists have to seek out how to treat curly hair, and found a lot of good products that way. I talked with my stylist about my typical hair care routine, and it was so validating to hear I was doing (almost) everything right. Typically, when I tell people I don’t ever brush my hair or I wash it once a week, they think I’m “dirty.” But when I told my stylist about my detangling habits, she said, “Thank God,” and continued to teach me other tips and tricks that helped promote my natural curl pattern. I usually leave salons feeling judged or changed, but that day I left feeling welcomed.  

I wasn’t sure how I felt about my new cut or my new products, so it took some adjusting. But after I styled it a few times, I realized that it wasn’t that I didn’t like my new hair care routine, it was just that my hair was different. It was healthy. 

I am happy to say that I now have a decent understanding of curly hair, but I’m always learning and finding new information on how to improve, even three years into it. There are always new products coming out, and more information to learn. 

I think it’s so important to embrace who you are - curls are so beautiful. My experience was not and is not everyone’s experience, and while I am a big advocate for embracing natural hair and beauty, sometimes it’s not possible or you’re not given the space to explore.

The beauty of college is that you are miles away from home and (hopefully) surrounded by people who will support your exploration, so if you feel comfortable doing so, explore your natural hair type! We put so much of our happiness into our appearance, so why not splurge a little, experiment, and find the happiest version of ourselves? Whether that means straightening your curls, or wearing them natural, my hair journey has taught me to do whatever makes me feel most beautiful, and I hope others can find the time and dedication to do the same for themselves!